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30 Nov 2012

The Week In Quotes: November 30, 2012

compiled by Rivers McCown

WE'RE REALLY NOT SELLING JEANS HERE

"All of a sudden we’re Moneyballing offensive linemen. The world I live in isn’t a fantasy world. Those are big boys in there putting their head into another human being 75 times a game" -- Jets offensive line coach Dave DeGuglielmo, on statistical evaluations of his line (Fifth Down)

"I PANICKED, I TOOK IT DOWN, AND I SAID I'D BEEN HACKED."

"I don't know if there's anything I've been dying to say," -- Texas A&M quarterback Johnny Manziel, on coach Kevin Sumlin's media blackout for all freshmen (USA Today)

HEY THERE MR. MUNCHAK, MERRY F*CKING CHRISTMAS!

"I gave him his Christmas present, said Merry Christmas, and then left. There was nothing I could do at that point. The decision was made. I said, ‘OK’ And I just left it at that." -- Fired Titans offensive coordinator Chris Palmer, on his last day in office (The Tennessean)

GOOD GOD, THAT'S ... THAT'S JOHN L. SMITH'S MUSIC!

"I'd like to reiterate the heartfelt desire we had that we wanted it to work. The importance of the third year, and if you don't have the momentum ... you begin to think did we not make the decisions quick enough." -- Colorado athletic director Mike Bohn, on firing head coach Jon Embree (Dr. Saturday)

"We didn't even have enough chairs for our [offensive] line to watch tape, we asked, finally got them Week 9." -- Embree (Twitter)

DON'T GIVE SUH A TARGET

"I don’t know too much about Adderall. I know guys, it is such a competitive league, guys try anything just to get that edge. I’m fortunate enough to be blessed with size and some smarts to give me my edge. But some guys, they’ll do whatever they can to get an edge. I’ve heard of some crazy stories. I’ve heard (of) guys using like Viagra, seriously. Because the blood is supposedly thin, some crazy stuff. So, you know, it’s kind of scary with some of these chemicals that are in some of these things so you have to be careful." -- Bears receiver Brandon Marshall, on the recent uptick in Adderall suspensions (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

"There would be a lot of dangerous boners on the field." -- Bears linebacker Lance Briggs, on Marshall's assertion (Twitter)

SPEND SOME MONEY! SEE THE SIGHTS! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE

"I am pleased and excited to welcome Tulane University to the BIG EAST Conference. Tulane University is an outstanding academic institution and is committed to excellence in athletics. They will be a valued member of the BIG EAST." -- Big East commissioner Mike Aresco, on adding Tulane to the conference (College Football Talk)

I SAID THAT I WOULD PUT MY JACKET IN THE MUD FOR YOU

"I’ve got two contracts in my life. One, with my wife because we’re married. And, two, I’ve got a contract to protect Andy Dalton. I’ll do both of those to the best of my ability." -- Bengals tackle Andrew Whitworth, on escalating a fight with the Raiders and getting ejected (Cincinnati.com)

THEY'RE JUST GOING TO KEEP PUSHING YOU UNTIL THEY GET A SOUNDBITE OF EQUAL QUALITY TO YOUR FATHER'S

"If you're asking me a question, I'd be happy to answer it. If you're going to make statements, then make them… What I thought about was Stanford, playing and beating Stanford. That was all we thought about. That was it. That was the end of the world for us. The universe dropped off after the Stanford game. That's all we wanted to do. This is a press conference where you ask questions. If you want to come up here and take the mic, there's a seat here and a seat here. It'd be great. I'd love to have you up here. You don't scare me." -- UCLA head coach Jim Mora Jr., on accusations that he threw last week's game to avoid facing Oregon in the Pac-12 Championship (Dr. Saturday)

IT'S ALWAYS SUNNY IN...

"If a fan has an issue with that, they’re not going to get me saying that’s wrong or anything like that. I can look back to being a fan and teams I liked and when a player I like comes in and ... it’s not working out, being upset about that. So I can’t now be that guy and then look at them and say, ‘You can’t be upset that we haven’t won and I haven’t been, you know, Superman on the field,’ even though that’s been expected of me. -- Eagles cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha, on his season (CSN Philadelphia)

"It’s depressing. It’s not about me. It’s about the team. We’re just trying to win ballgames. And for that not to happen and [for] us to lose as many games as we did in a row, that’s inexcusable. It’s unacceptable. It’s disheartening. And I feel like everybody else feels. It’s a messed-up situation." -- Eagles defensive coordinator Todd Bowles, on his unit's performance (Philadelphia Magazine)

THE INTERNET HAS LOST CONTROL OF ITS MARK RICHT MEME

"Some people might say, 'He's losing control of the program because all these guys are suspended,' And I'm saying, 'No, it's 100 percent the opposite.' We maintain control of the program by disciplining our players." -- Georgia head coach Mark Richt, on discipline problems at his school (Yahoo!)

YOU'VE PLAYED LIKE YOU'RE MENTALLY DONE FOR TWO YEARS NOW

"Officially no longer an Oakland Raider!! Well technically I am. But I'm mentally done. Just waiting on my papers." -- Raiders linebacker Rolando McClain, now suspended for conduct detrimental to the team, on his Twitter feed after being kicked out of practice (NFL.com)

WE MAY NOT EVEN SHOW UP, WELL, I MEAN THE OFFENSE. THE DEFENSE ALREADY DOESN'T SHOW UP

"They’re going to coach them up. We’re going to be at a major schematic disadvantage going against their coaches. They’ve got coaches with a tremendous pedigree that have coached everybody in the world and coached for decades and decades. It’ll be challenging. You never know what you’re going to get. They kind of have a flavor of the week in the fact that schematically, you’re dealing with a group of coaches that understand football as good or better than anybody in the country. What we’ve got to do is we’ve got to figure out what their plan is going to be." -- West Virginia head coach Dana Holgorsen, sarcastically, on the team's upcoming game against Kansas (Larry Brown Sports)

HE ISN'T QUITE TERRIBLE ENOUGH ON SPECIAL TEAMS, FOR ONE THING

"No, you don't want a player like that. The stuff that he stands for and the type of player he is, that's not Houston Texan worthy. That's not what we're about." -- Texans quarterback Matt Schaub, on Ndamukong Suh (Shutdown Corner)

IF ONLY WE WERE FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO NOT BE IN NATIONAL TITLE CONTENTION

"It’s not really a great scenario. You play your way into the (SEC) championship game, which means you’re the best team in your division… It doesn’t seem quite right, but it is what it is. I don’t really know what me commenting about it is going to do to change it. But I don’t feel good about it." -- Alabama head coach Nick Saban, lamenting the fact that Florida gets a guaranteed BCS birth while nothing is set in stone for the loser of the SEC championship (Palm Beach Post)

"Well, I can switch and go to Atlanta if he doesn’t want to go to Atlanta and play the Dawgs. Be careful what you ask for, Nick." -- Florida head coach Will Muschamp, on Saban's statement (Palm Beach Post)

JEFF LORIA WOULD SAY YOU NEED A NEW STADIUM

"You know what? In all my years of football, that’s a first one. It kind of reminded me of the old 18th hole trick where you send a rookie out there at 9 p.m. and the sprinklers come on." -- Dolphins running back Reggie Bush, on the sprinkler system coming on during the Seahawks-Dolphins game (Miami Herald)

DON'T UH ... DON'T RIVALRIES INVOLVE BOTH TEAMS WINNING?

"I was a kid growing up in Oklahoma, and I bled orange. Everyone was so excited as a little kid, I remember being either pumped or dreading the next Monday at school because you're so excited if your team wins and you're wearing everything orange to school. You're going to rub it in all of your Oklahoma friends' faces if you win. If the Gooners beat you, you're dreading going to school because you're going to get it the whole time. It's really like that though. I had people coming up to me after the game last year telling me that their fifty and sixty year-old grandparents cried after the game because it meant so much to them. Not just that we beat OU, but to win the Big 12 Championship. That unfolded in the perfect scenario for us, but it's a huge game even without that. We have a rivalry with Tulsa, but the one with OU is huge. Anyone that wants to say it isn't is lying to themselves." -- Oklahoma State defensive end Cooper Bassett, on the Bedlam series with Oklahoma (Rivals)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 30 Nov 2012

11 comments, Last at 01 Dec 2012, 3:50pm by LionInAZ

Comments

1
by CoachDave :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 1:16pm

Dear Matt Schaub,

Are you high?

Sincerely,

The Houston Texan Front Office

8
by LionInAZ :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 6:45pm

I'm not sure Schaub would do very well in the NFC North.

2
by justanothersteve :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 1:22pm

I really appreciate Lance Briggs saying what everyone else was probably thinking upon hearing Brandon Marshall's claim of some players using Viagra as a PED.

7
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 6:27pm

The irony of the NFL being sponsored by erectile dysfunction drugs (i.e. performance-enhancing) was never lost on me.

3
by bubqr :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 2:35pm

""They’re going to coach them up. We’re going to be at a major schematic disadvantage going against their coaches. They’ve got coaches with a tremendous pedigree that have coached everybody in the world and coached for decades and decades. It’ll be challenging. You never know what you’re going to get. They kind of have a flavor of the week in the fact that schematically, you’re dealing with a group of coaches that understand football as good or better than anybody in the country. What we’ve got to do is we’ve got to figure out what their plan is going to be." -- West Virginia head coach Dana Holgorsen, sarcastically, on the team's upcoming game against Kansas (Larry Brown Sports)"

Can someone give me more insight ?

4
by Travis :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 2:58pm

Charlie Weis, speaking to his Notre Dame team, April 2005, as quoted in Sports Illustrated:

In his crewcut and his suit Weis kept talking. Somewhere in the middle of his speech he stopped dissing and started selling. He talked about running the Patriots' offense and winning Super Bowls. About getting "nasty" on the field. At one point he told his new charges, "Every game, you will have a decided schematic advantage."

5
by Kevin M (not verified) :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 3:48pm

Kansas, despite having far less talent than anyone else in that conference, has lost a lot of close games this season. (Yes, their record stinks.)

West Virginia, which at one point was the 5th ranked team in the country, just last week qualified for a bowl game. I'd say this week's game involves 2 different sides of a shitty coin.

6
by BroncFan07 :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 3:49pm

Someone help me out - when Saban is talking about how unfair it is that a team that didn't make it to the SEC Championship gets to play in the Sugar Bowl anyway, is he talking about this year or last year?

9
by dbostedo :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 9:07pm

This year. Virginia Tech and Michigan played in the Sugar Bowl last year. (The national title game was in the Superdome, but was NOT the Sugar Bowl.)

I assume that's all you were referring to, but in case....

Because of the way the automatic BCS bids work, the team ranked #3 in the BCS gets an automatic bid. In this case, Alabama and Georgia are ranked 2 and 3 and play each other this weekend in the SEC championship game. Florida is #4.

The assumption is that whoever loses the SEC championship game will fall behind Florida, giving them an automatic BCS bid to the Sugar Bowl. The loser, no matter what they are then ranked can't get a BCS bowl bid because of a rule about not having 3 teams from the same conference.

This isn't actually guaranteed because the BCS rankings COULD have the loser stay ranked #3 (I think - depends on the computers to some extent). But that's extremely unlikely.

11
by LionInAZ :: Sat, 12/01/2012 - 3:50pm

Gee, you'd think he would concentrating on beating Georgia rather than worrying about Florida...

10
by The Hypno-Toad :: Fri, 11/30/2012 - 10:29pm

Ah, now the story of the BIG EAST Conference is a story that can only rightly be told in a Chamber of Commerce video narrated by folk-rock troubadour Donovan.