compiled by Rivers McCown

SOMETIMES YOU GET GOOSEBUMPS

"Sometimes the great books are covered up by the bad books. Somebody finally gets to take this great book off the shelf." -- Giants tight end Martellus Bennett, on the opportunity to start for the first time (New York Daily News)

IF ONLY EVERY COACH MADE IMPORTANT FOURTH-DOWN DECISIONS ON PUNT-TEAM SPEED

"They weren't getting out there fast enough to suit me. They were milling around. ... I said, 'Screw it. Get off the field. We'll go for it.'" -- Georgia Tech head coach Paul Johnson, on a decision to go for it late in the fourth quarter against Virginia Tech (Sports Illustrated)

I'VE LIVED TO SEE THE DAY WHERE RANDY MOSS STARTS TELLING DEFENSIVE BACKS TO GET OFF HIS LAWN

"I can remember him wiping his butt on the goal post. I can remember that. I was excited to see that happen. When you see someone do things like that, it's crazy." -- Packers safety M.D. Jennings, on Randy Moss' celebration history at Lambeau Field (Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel)

"I think I played in Lambeau maybe 14, 15 times. I've played there a lot of times. It's in the teens, double digit. I've had success on that field, won and lost. I just don't like people bringing up the old stuff." -- 49ers wide receiver Randy Moss, on heading back to Lambeau Field (Sacramento Bee)

THE PROUD MEN AND WOMEN OF THE NAVY ARE PROTECTING AMERICA'S INTERESTS OVERSEAS, BUT YOU'RE IN LUBBOCK, TEXAS, HOSING DOWN A STATUE

"You have a 6-foot-5 future NFL tight end versus a guy who will work on a submarine some day. I like that matchup." -- CBS Analyst Gary Danielson, on a Notre Dame touchdown over a Navy defender (Awful Announcing)

TO BE FAIR, IT IS PROBABLY HEALTHIER FOR YOU THAN FIVE-HOUR ENERGY

"Sometimes I even fooled myself. I'd be like, Hey, that's not 5-Hour Energy!" -- Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, on filling his old energy drink bottles with vodka or tequila in college (Sports Illustrated)

YOU KILLED TED, YOU MEDIEVAL DICKWEED!

"But looking back on it, Buie's was better ... and the ironic thing about it is that it was the same defender. That sucks, man. Poor kid." -- West Virginia coach Dana Holgorsen, on which of his offensive players had the "hit of the week" (Everyday Should Be Saturday)

YABBA DABBA DOO, I LIKE TALKING TO YOU!

"I want to be a 1,000-yard receiver. I don’t care how many catches it takes because I think yardage shows production more than catches." -- Dolphins receiver Brian Hartline, on his goals for the season (Miami Herald)

YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO PROTECT MOWGLI

"I was like 'Oh, a Tiger? Why do we have a Tiger here?' It was kind of scary at first." -- Washington linebacker Travis Feeney, on Steve Sarkisian's idea to bring a live tiger to practice (Washington plays LSU this week) (Seattle Times)

WILLIE BURTON ONCE SCORED 50 POINTS, THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT

"It’s like Michael Jordan playing against Dominique Wilkins and Dominique gets 20 and it’s like, ‘Ohhh! He lit Jordan’s ass up!’ Come on, man." -- Jets linebacker Bart Scott, on the notion that Stevie Johnson is Darrelle Revis' kryptonite (New York Daily News)

IF YOU PREFER THE SIMPLE LIFE, YOU COULD ALWAYS TAKE SPURRIER'S SUGGESTION AND HEAD BACK TO TOLEDO

"What makes the really good players good? What makes the really good teams good? They have those intangible things that make them good. It's work every day around here to try to keep our guys on track to have a little bit of humility and confidence. We win one game and I can't believe what gets written." -- Alabama head coach Nick Saban, on praise for his squad (The Birmingham News)

THE WEEK IN TELLING QUOTES ABOUT REPLACEMENT OFFICIALS

"I haven’t been held this much since I was a baby." -- Giants defensive end Mathias Kiwanuka, on the replacement officials (Newark Star-Ledger)

"It seems as if, after every call, all 35 refs come sprinting in to discuss the merits of Kafka's Metamorphosis as it relates to the economy of Bangladesh, and just when you think they've finally figured it out, they reconvene for Round 2. Then Round 3. I saw a baby born in the stadium reach full walking status during one ref conference, and at the end of it, when they finally announced something, no one had any idea whether it was even the right decision or not. We didn't care at that point; we just wanted to move on to the next play so we could finish the game before the Mayan apocalypse. I am slightly curious how the TV networks are going to handle eight-hour games." -- Vikings punter Chris Kluwe, on the replacement refs (Deadspin)

I WILL BUST YOU BACK DOWN TO SERGEANT SO FAST YOUR HEAD WILL SPIN

"I told Jeff, I don’t want you to be looking over your shoulder. But you need to play well." -- Florida coach Will Muschamp, on new starting quarterback Jeff Driskel (Orlando Sentinel)

I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE WHEN IT TURNED VOID OF COURSE, CAN IT JUST TRINE WITH SATURN AGAIN?

"Even as a kid, the full moon always intrigued me. I looked up at the full moon, contemplated it and wondered if it sees me, and knowing what I’m going through and knowing all my struggles." -- Chiefs safety Eric Berry, on the writing and thinking he did during his year away due to injury (Kansas City Star)

ARE YOU REALLY QUALIFIED TO START SEC FOODFIGHTS IF YOU'VE BEEN IN THE CONFERENCE FOR A FEW MONTHS?

"I watched that game. I turned it off, too. It's like watching Big Ten football. It's old man football." -- Missouri defensive tackle Sheldon Richardson, on Georgia's opening win against Buffalo (Columbus Ledger-Enquirer)

QUICK, SOMEONE FIND WINSTON JUSTICE AND TELL HIM HE NEEDS HIS OWN LEAGUE

"They play that ‘Here Comes the Boom’ song in the stadium and we always act like it’s talking to us," -- Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman, on the Seahawks' defense adopting the nickname "Legion of Boom" (Tacoma News-Tribune)

...TOO EASY

"I'm challenging you guys, tonight. Be committed. I'm asking you to be committed. That means not going and doing things that are counterproductive to being a champion. If you do, then you're a fraud." -- Arizona State head coach Todd Graham, in a post-game speech after his team's defeat of Northern Arizona (Dr. Saturday)

MIKE, PUT THE RUNNING BACK DEPTH CHART DOWN, LET'S TALK THIS OUT

"I walked up to Torain in the locker room and said, ‘Dude, you’re starting on my fantasy team this week. And um I’m hoping for a big week. I’m playing my wife.’ And he’s like, ‘Oh, cool man. Yea, I’ll see what I can do,’" -- Former Redskins tight end Chris Cooley, on how far the Redskins' running back shenanigans go (Roy Helu would start that week) (CBS Washington)

THE BLACK WIND HOWLS

"This is the last year of my deal. Whatever happens, happens. I’m going to play the best I can this year and hopefully I can stay healthy, play 16 games and then whatever we have in the playoffs. Then, we’ll approach it after that. I’m not going to sit here and say, ‘I want to play four more years’ right now. Because before my knee was hurt (in training camp), I thought I could play four more. My knee just isn’t the same anymore. It’s never going to be the same." -- Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher, on the end of his contract (Chicago Tribune)

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Posted by: Rivers McCown on 07 Sep 2012

17 comments, Last at 07 Sep 2012, 5:20pm by Passing through