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06 May 2013

The Month In Quotes: April 2013

compiled by Rivers McCown

WELL, YOU DEFINITELY COVERED LIKE IT WAS A VACATION YEAR

"It was a nice paid vacation to Florida." -- Giants cornerback Aaron Ross, on his year in Jacksonville (NFL.com)

DON'T FLATTER YOURSELF, THIS IS JUST PART OF THE GIG

"If I knew I was lining up in front of somebody that was gay, I'm going to pancake him and sit on him just like I would on anybody else." -- LSU lineman Trai Turner on the possibility of playing against openly gay players (USA Today)

#PityParty

"No invite to duke to run routes and catch passes DAMN right I took it personal...#Motivation #StillGrinding." -- Broncos wideout Andre Caldwell, on not being invited to train at Duke with Peyton Manning, Demaryius Thomas, Wes Welker, and Eric Decker (because of a lack of room at Duke, per Manning) (Pro Football Talk)

THE SEPTUAGENARIAN HAS SOME PROGRESSIVE THOUGHTS, AT LEAST

"I tell my guys all the time ... you’re not the first one to spend a hungry Sunday without any money." -- Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops, on the possibility of stipends for student-athletes (Sporting News)

"(I am) grossly overpaid for what I do. That's part of what creates the issue." -- Kansas State head coach Bill Snyder, on the problems with NCAA Football (Kansas City Star)

THE DEVIL DEFINITELY HAS THE MOMENTUM

"F— the police" -- Ravens linebacker Rolando McClain, who is accused of inciting disorderly conduct in his latest arrest report (Deadspin)

"As a kid and young adult you make mistakes and I have made some. I have tried to do good, but sometimes the devil wins." -- McClain, right after signing on with Baltimore (Madison Weekly News)

OUR HEADQUARTERS WILL BE IN THE BUTTHEAD MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM ... I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T HAVE LET THE STUDENTS NAME THAT

"We worked with our institutions, sports marketing experts, media partners, and also solicited opinions and reactions from collegiate sports fans to create a compelling list of names. Versions that included the word ‘American’ led every list. American Athletic Conference represents a strong, durable and aspirational name for our reinvented Conference." -- American Athletic Conference commissioner Mike Aresco, on the name change (College Football Talk)

GUESS THE SEPTEMBER EXCUSES FOR A SLOW START? THE LINE NEEDS TIME TO GEL TOGETHER OPENS AS A 3:2 FAVORITE

"THANK GOD" -- Titans running back Chris Johnson, after the team selected Chance Warmack with its first-round pick (Twitter)

THREE DEAD IN SOUTH CAROLINA AS MASSIVE EXPLOSION HITS FOLLOWING THROWN JADEVEON CLOWNEY FOOTBALL

"I caught the ball, turned around and forgot I didn't have my cleats on. It was pretty fun. Coach told me ahead of time that he wanted me to do it. I told him I'd do it, but I was going to throw the ball into the stands. He said go ahead and have fun with it." -- South Carolina defensive end Jadeveon Clowney, on scoring on a trick play in spring practice (Dr. Saturday)

AUSSIE RULES FOOTBALL? SOCCER? RUGBY? BOWLING?

"If he wants to come to Canada he would be in the same situation as the one he was in with New York. He can come here and compete to be the backup to Anthony Calvillo and learn the game, just like Jeff Garcia did (behind Doug Flutie). And one day he might be the guy; that's our vision. He can learn from the best" -- Montreal Allouettes general manager Jim Popp, on owning the CFL rights to Tim Tebow (TSN)

ALL I CAN DO IS COUNT MY MILLIONS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT A BRUTAL, TERRIBLE, JOB THAT WAS

"It is ... really a difficult time we live in ... when you have that type of atmosphere, it’s sometimes difficult to navigate. What I always liked about Ohio State and still like about Ohio State is that as difficult as the challenge is, it’s still a great place with a great culture." -- Former Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel, on the challenge of keeping entitled athletes from receiving benefits (The Lantern)

"F*** IT, THE PLAY-CALLING IS GOING DEEP!"

"Kyle Shanahan could not call that play without laughing while he called it for me. Whether Kirk could, we’ll see. But it takes some getting used to, and if they are gonna run it with Kirk, they’d definitely need to practice it a lot." -- Redskins quarterback Rex Grossman, on running the read-option in practice (Sports Radio Interviews)

TRUE PIMPS DON'T GET HACKED

"Yea I took $ in college so wat. I did wat i had to do. Agents was tryin to pimp me so i pimped them. Cast da 1st stone" -- Alabama (and now San Diego Chargers) tackle D.J. Fluker, on his Twitter account. Before the inevitable "I was hacked" excuse (Every Day Should Be Saturday)

IF REVIS REALLY WAS THE JETS GENERAL MANAGER, THAT LENDS CREDENCE TO THE IDEA THAT GETTING RID OF HIM WAS A SMART MOVE

"We’re going to make a lot of noise, don’t worry about that. This was a great move on my part to come be a part of this organization." -- Buccaneers cornerback Darrelle Revis, on getting out of New York (Pro Football Talk)

CLEARLY BOTH OF THESE THINGS HAPPENED AT THE SAME SCENE

"I own Eunice ... I'm gonna buy these projects and you are gonna be mine," -- LSU (and now Seattle Seahawks) cornerback Tharold Simon, according to cops, before being arrested in advance of Tharold Simon Day in Eunice, Louisiana (Deadspin)

"And then I just sat on my car. He was running my license through. He called another cop to bring him a ticket book, because I guess he was going to write me a ticket. And one of my friends had come to congratulate me on the draft that was going on and stuff. And he told my friend to move around. And then I had got out the car and I was like, 'Man, you trippin' for nothing. I mean, there's nothing serious really going on around here.'" -- Simon, in his own words, on what happened (USA Today)

THIS MAN DESERVES A YEAR-LONG NFL SUSPENSION, IF MY READ OF THE NFL'S RULES VIA THE BOUNTYGATE CASE ARE CORRECT

"I thought to myself, ‘Well, why would I do that?’ Candidly, I haven’t done anything wrong, No. 1. No. 2, if there’s ever a time the company needs our leadership, it’s right now." -- Browns owner Jimmy Haslam, on possibly stepping away from his company while it's under FBI investigation (Akron Beacon-Journal)

"More than a few owners are scared to death. The fear is that even if he did nothing wrong, the damage of the investigation alone, and the headlines that come with it, could damage a Browns organization trying to steady itself." -- Anonymous source on the allegations made of Haslam's corporation (Cleveland Plain Dealer)

OH THEY'RE EDGY, THEY'RE ON FIRE

"Everybody on staff has to have a Twitter now. It's about building our logo, building our brand. It's fun to have coaches on there and talk trash. But it's more about putting out some positive energy for Tennessee right now." -- Tennessee safety Byron Moore, on changes under new head coach Butch Jones (SB Nation)

If you see a quote that you think should be in the next TWIQ, send it via email to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com or via Twitter to @FO_RiversMcCown

Posted by: Rivers McCown on 06 May 2013

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Comments

1
by sundown (not verified) :: Mon, 05/06/2013 - 10:35am

Given Caldwell caught a whopping one pass last season, couldn't Peyton have just had him run onto the field for like 5 minutes, then sent him on his way?

2
by Noah of Arkadia :: Mon, 05/06/2013 - 12:25pm

Yeah, but "there's no space at Duke" is a lame thing to tell a teammate. Why even give an explanation.

------
As Mr. Sloan always says, there is no "I" in team, but there is an "I" in pie. And there's an "i" in meat pie. Meat is the anagram of team... I don't know what he's talking about

5
by Thunderbolt of ... :: Mon, 05/06/2013 - 5:54pm

At least that explanation lets him down softer than "you were pretty much useless last year, we're returning two 1,000 yard receivers, and we also imported another guy who caught 118 passes, so have fun signing with Jacksonville this August."

7
by Yaguar :: Mon, 05/06/2013 - 11:59pm

The more accurate explanation would be "there's no space in the offensive formation."

The fact is that Manning likes to play with a single back and a tight end and three wide receivers, and we all know who those three receivers will be.

3
by commissionerleaf :: Mon, 05/06/2013 - 1:38pm

Given that Caldwell may not make it out of camp, it seems rather silly for him to expect a lot of personal attention. It isn't like he's a new rookie who everyone thinks is going to set the world on fire but requires some work on fundamentals. He's a journeyman who has been beaten out for jobs by (among others), a 37 year old Brandon Stokely, Jordan Shipley, and the desiccated corpses of Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens.

That said, it isn't like he had a bad attitude about it. Just said he was disappointed and moved on.

4
by Kyle D. (not verified) :: Mon, 05/06/2013 - 5:05pm

Funny that when other coaches are trying to keep players off Twitter, Butch Davis is mandating his assistant coaches get on there. And the goal, at least as perceived by the players, is to "talk smack"? Can't imagine anything going wrong there.

6
by Harris :: Mon, 05/06/2013 - 8:05pm

Oh, no! If Haslam is distracted, the Browns might be terrible!

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