Tom and Mike have climbed to the top of the Hill of Nonsense and unleash another wave of insane wagering on the world.
04 Oct 2013
compiled by Rory Hickey
"Public service announcement: I can care less about fantasy football. Key word fantasy. As long as we win I’m happy. I rush for 200 n lose y’all happy. U r the head coach n the owner of ur fantasy team so u should be mad at urself I didn’t ask any of u to draft me so if I’m so sorry y start me." -- Tennessee Titans running back Chris Johnson, telling his various fantasy football owners out there that he didn’t ask them to draft him (Pro Football Talk)
"When it’s a one-score opportunity, and especially a field goal opportunity and there’s time left to do it, that’s part of our beliefs. And guys can disagree with it, call it, you know, there’s no Bush league to it. You know it’s coming. And if anybody saw it, Gerald McCoy was shaking his head telling [Arizona], ‘We’re coming.’ So I mean, you know what, run the play. If there’s time on the clock, run the play. I’d like people to quit complaining, and that’s what we’re going to do, and get ready for it." -- Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Greg Schiano, wanting people to stop complaining about his approach to the “victory” formation (JoeBucsFan.com)
"I just don't feel that team was as good as everybody was saying they were. We just abused the offensive line all game." -- New Orleans Saints outside linebacker Junior Galette, who had one sack in the Saints’ 38-17 win over the Miami Dolphins (Nanaimo Daily News)
"I was like Vegas, parlor tricks, you know what I mean? I was like, ahh, Roger Goodell, he never stops, he always has something up his sleeve. He just couldn’t let us have this one in a landslide huh?"
"I thought he had a hand in it. Most definitely, he had a hand in it." -- Baltimore Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs, becoming the second prominent member of the Ravens Super Bowl winning team to say that the lights going out at the Super Bowl was not an accident (Baltimore Sun)
"If anyone turns on our coach, I would be the first one to punch him in the mouth. And put that in print. It better not happen, I know that." -- New York Giants defensive end Justin Tuck, spelling out the consequences for anyone who turns on Giants head coach Tom Coughlin (NY Daily News)
"I believe we can go 12-0 from this point on. People can look at me like I'm crazy, but you know, I could really give a damn at this point. This is what I truly believe. I know the talent of this team, I know the mindset of this team, we just have to go out there and put it all together." -- New York Giants safety Antrel Rolle, contending that the winless Giants could run the table and finish with a 12-4 record (ESPN New York)
"That's the worst block I've seen all season. You're not dancing with him you know. Alright?" -- Field Judge Jon Lucivansky had some choice words for Demaryius Thomas' blocking skills in their game against the Eagles (DenverBroncos.com)
"It was really alive, and it was alive when we played those same bunch of thugs on Monday Night a couple [years ago]. When this place gets going it’s electric and we do have wonderful fans. Our fans are amazing and we would love to pay them back and bring home a winner, and I love the way this team is playing right now." -- Detroit Lions vice chairman Bill Ford, when asked about the electric atmosphere during the Lions victory over the Bears at Ford Field (Detroit Free-Press)
"Kosar said he's had several surgeries on his knees and ankles because his line couldn't block" -- Scott McElroy, the officer who pulled over former Cleveland Browns quarterback Bernie Kosar, when asked if he had any problems that would prevent him from standing on one leg or walking and turning during a field sobriety test (Cleveland Plain-Dealer)
"Right now you can say we are the worst team in the league." -- Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, on the team’s 0-4 start (Yahoo!)
"Philadelphia will not be charged with a timeout" -- Referee Terry McAulay, during Sunday’s Giants vs. Chiefs game, of course thinking of Andy Reid’s old employer (Shutdown Corner)
"No question. It's uncomfortable to say, and it might not sit well, it might not feel good, but the bottom line is I am me as a player. I can't worry about everyone else." -- Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Josh Freeman, saying that it was time for him to move on from the Buccaneers on "Sunday NFL Countdown." (Shutdown Corner)
"This whole NCAA thing I just think was so terribly out of balance. They had to try to survive all of that, it's awful that it was like that. But it didn't end well and it's unfortunate for Kiff. You know, he's a tremendous worker and all, it just didn't work out." -- Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll, on the firing of his successor at USC, Lane Kiffin (NFL.com)
"Nobody likes to get fired or leave a job, but things happen. I'd go on record and say 'yes I think it's time.' I'd just say this, I take my hat off for USC for what they've done. They didn't mess around with it. They just said 'let's do it now.' I think at some point our university's people are going to have make a decision."
"Some people get too old. If players get too old to play a game, why can't a coach get too old to coach it?" -- Former University of Texas running back Earl Campbell, saying that he believes it is time for his alma mater to fire current head coach Mack Brown (Dr. Saturday)
"That guy’s awesome. I kinda felt the same way at the end of that game."
"[The fan’s pouring technique] was pretty good. My wife can do that thing where you throw it up and catch it in your mouth. I’m not very good at it. Her and my daughter occasionally have the contest where you throw M&Ms and field it with your mouth. They’re both pretty good at it, pretty skilled at it, but I think he could give either one of them a run for their money." -- Washington State head coach Mike Leach, commenting on the fan who got pouring popcorn on his face during Washington State’s 55-17 loss to Stanford (Dr. Saturday)
"Don’t think for one minute we’re scared. We ain’t scared of nobody. I don’t really care who it is. They’re going to make plays. Any team can make plays against you. We just have to play 60 minutes of football, very sound football against a great quarterback. We have respect for him, but at the end of the day, they got to have respect for us as well. We’re not a pushover team at all. We’re definitely ready to play." -- Dallas Cowboys defensive tackle Jason Hatcher, making it known that the Cowboys are not scared of Peyton Manning (DallasNews.com)
"I'm not going on no nature walk. We ain't taking no risk of running into any bears." -- University of Florida linebacker Mike Taylor, after offensive coordinator Brent Pease led the team’s quarterbacks on a nature walk before its game against Kentucky on Saturday (Twitter)
"If we give up 72 sacks, I mean, everybody should be fired; I think the whole offensive line. That’s atrocious." -- Miami Dolphins guard Richie Incognito, says that if the sack pace is not stemmed the entire offensive line should be fired (Palm Beach Post)
"I haven’t played anybody in our division yet, so I think they’re still my least favorite team." -- Miami Dolphins wide receiver Mike Wallace, (and ex-Pittsburgh Steeler) said of Baltimore, which plays the Miami Dolphins on Sunday
"Most definitely, I know they’re my least favorite team." -- Wallace (NFL Nation Blog)
"I actually put the paperwork in yesterday afternoon. Just waiting to get the paperwork out. So from here on out until I retire, my name will be Donte Hitner, without the W." -- San Francisco 49ers safety Donte Hitner, explaining the reasoning behind his very cool name change (ESPN)
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