Tom and Mike have climbed to the top of the Hill of Nonsense and unleash another wave of insane wagering on the world.
16 May 2014
compiled by Rory Hickey
"From last season alone, I should’ve been in the first three rounds. SEC Defensive Player of the Year, All-American. I knew I was going to get picked somewhere. Every team that passed me, I was thinking how I’m going to sack their quarterback." -- St. Louis Rams defensive end Michael Sam, feeling he should have been picked in the first few rounds of the NFL Draft. Sam was chosen in the seventh round (CBS Local St. Louis)
"It’ll help sell tickets, which will make a lot of people smile in the building That’s a good thing ... New England is probably the most secretive of any NFL program, and they still have Tom Brady doing Ugg commercials. He has TMZ following him everywhere he goes. It’s just a matter of how the player handles it. I don’t know Johnny and I haven’t met him, but I’m sure he’ll have a lot of guidance in how he handles things around here with the attention he’s getting."
-- Cleveland Browns left tackle Joe Thomas, on new Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel
"I actually told my agent that [Cleveland]’s not the place where I wanted to be. Throughout this entire process, I felt comfortable with the Minnesota Vikings. From every visit I had with the team, it was a family environment, the players are great guys, a great group of guys, so I felt comfortable wanting to play here."
-- New Minnesota Vikings quarterback Teddy Bridgewater, on not wanting to play in Cleveland (Pro Football Talk)
"It’s kind of like the first day of school. Everybody loves seeing their old buddies and getting re-acclimated to football."
-- Miami Dolphins head coach Joe Philbin, describing the first day of the offseason program (MiamiDolphins.com)
"Mike kinda ruled more with an iron fist. Jay kinda lets you go in there and be you." -- Washington Redskins cornerback DeAngelo Hall, on the differences between former coach Mike Shanahan and new coach Jay Gruden (CSN Washington)
"Yes, we are better. There’s no question about that. Relative to where we played last year, we’ve had a very impactful draft. We actually have had an impactful offseason, relative to the way we play. We’re better. And consequentially, when I look over at the offense, we haven’t taken a step back on offense at any place and matter of fact, without being trite, we’ve gained on it in my opinion. For me, I feel better tonight than I did when we quit playing last year. To me that isn’t just optimism for me. I do, factually, can look down here and say we’re a better team than we were this time last year as reality would have it." -- Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, after the NFL Draft assessing his team (DallasCowboys.com)
"We want competition — we don’t want people coming in and saying, ‘here is my spot and I’m safe.’ We want people to push people to be better." -- Buffalo Bills general manager Doug Whaley, on acquiring running back Bryce Brown (Buffalo News)
"I would have liked to have had a receiver, I would have. But it just didn’t fall that way." -- Oakland Raiders general manager Reggie McKenzie, on the team’s failure to draft a wide receiver (San Francisco Chronicle)
"With all due respect, I hate to admit this but I don’t think I’ve been online in a couple days or weeks or whatever, so that’s not really an important thing to me. I don’t even know what’s online and what isn’t online. But I would say we probably have, I can’t even imagine, 10,000 pages of information. It’s a lot of information. There’s no way I can sit up here and tell you that I’ve read it all. I’ve read a fraction of it. But we have a ton of information on all the players that are in the draft. What’s online, you should go talk to the geniuses that are online. I don’t know. MyFace, YourFace, InstantFace. Go talk to whoever you want that does that stuff. I don’t know."
-- New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, on a Patriots scouting report on Johnny Manziel that was leaked (CSN New England)
"No I don't [believe there would be a lifetime ban]. Because we have an NFL team called the Redskins. I don't think the NFL really is as concerned as they show. The NFL is more of a bottom-line league. If it doesn't affect their bottom line, they're not as concerned."
-- Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman, saying he does not think Roger Goodell would ban an NFL owner in a Donald Sterling situation (TIME)
"These TV mics pick up everything and I don't like it. I'm not a fan of it. It reveals terminology that the other opponent can use and I don't like Bill Belichick hearing our plays that we're using -- and I think I know how to fix it. I think you have to get up there and say some really negative things about the commissioner Roger Goodell. 'Blue-20, Roger Goodell's a no-good, you know what...' And I think they'll just kind of turn that volume down a little bit."
-- Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning, on the Late Show with David Letterman (Eye on Football)
"A little bit of the time he looks like Tarzan, plays like Jane." -- Former New York Jet Joe Klecko, on current Jets outside linebacker Quinton Coples (NY Daily News)
"A homeless man in Detroit has more mojo than a millionaire in Jacksonville."
-- Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shad Khan, on the city of Jacksonville’s ‘mojo’ (Florida Times-Union)
"We got the best corner in the league coming in. That’s always a good thing for a defensive end like myself. Just give me a little bit more time. I’ll be happy to use that."
-- New England Patriots linebacker Rob Ninkovich, on the Patriots trading for cornerback Darrelle Revis
"All the coaches are real cool, even the strength and conditioning coaches."
-- Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Lavonte David, on the start of offseason workouts (The Tampa Tribune)
"Being known for the Super Bowl and the hair, it is what it is. But I just want to continue to keep working on my craft and getting better as a receiver."
-- Carolina Panthers wide receiver Tiquan Underwood, on his notoriety (or lack thereof) (Charlotte Observer)
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