Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

13 Nov 2015

The Week In Quotes: November 13, 2015

by Rory Hickey

QUARTERBACKS BEWARE

"You gotta call that dead or I'm gonna slam the f--- out of him next time."

-- Miami Dolphins defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, telling the referees during Sunday's game against the Bills to blow the whistle when he has the quarterback in the grasp, or bad things might happen to that quarterback. (SB Nation)

SEXY REXY HAD THE HOTS FOR WOODY JOHNSON?

"It's pretty satisfying, without question. You know what? Now I can talk the truth. This thing's kind of like, well, like being dumped by some girl you had the hots for. That's what it feels like. Hey, you move on and every now and then they call you back. But they can't get you back."

-- Buffalo Bills head coach Rex Ryan, finally acknowledging that Thursday night's win at the offices of his former employer was quite satisfying, thank you very much. (The Buffalo News)

YOU HEAR THAT PATRICK PETERSON BUT MOSTLY RASHAD JOHNSON?

"Not me. I didn't get my ass run over. Hopefully with the guys that got their ass run over, it motivates them."

-- Arizona Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians, on whether Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch's big run and gesture from last year's game motivates the Cardinals at all. (Twitter)

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CARROTS I HAVE EATEN IN MY LIFE?

"No. I trust my eyes. I trust my eyes, OK? I watch the tape. I watch a lot of tape and I trust what my eyes tell me. So I don't need a freaking piece of paper with a bunch of numbers on there to tell me something my eyes can see. I mean, not to get pissed off, but that whole thing of looking at a piece of paper and telling you how to call a football game is a freaking joke in my opinion. That's why I watch tape. Half the stuff on that paper, you can sort those stats out any way you want to. But I'm sticking by eyes. It's worked OK for me so far."

-- Tampa Bay Buccaneers offensive coordinator Dirk Koetter, when asked if he uses statistical research to prepare the plays he calls. The Buccaneers are one of many teams with an analytics department, but Dirk Koetter thinks they are all nerds. (Tampa Bay Times)

BEST WISHES TO RICARDO LOCKETTE

"Locke... move your feet. Show us you're OK."

-- Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Doug Baldwin Jr., relaying that his first concern with the scary injury to teammate Ricardo Lockette was that he could move. Lockette required neck surgery and will not play again this season, if at all. (Twitter)

AND THEY'RE A HOT TEAM, BUT I'M WEARING AN OVEN MITT

"They're undefeated, but they have to come through here. We'll get to the quarterback. I'm sure of it. I know I will."

-- New York Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul, talking to the media about ditching the heavy club wrap he wore on his right hand last week and talking up the Giants' chances to sack Patriots' quarterback Tom Brady on Sunday. (ESPN)

I AGREE AARON, THESE GAMES HAVE BEEN WEIGHTED COIN TOSSES

"That's a good question, but I don't really think it does because there are probably some guys on both teams who weren't born when that streak began. I've been a part of a lot of the games. There have been some close ones over the years, some battles. It's just kind of fell our way the last 20 times or whatever but it's always been very competitive."

-- Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, trying his best to explain why the Lions' 24-game road losing streak against the Packers doesn't necessarily weigh on the Lions or provide an advantage for the Packers. (Detroit Free Press)

HE'S WITH ROC NATION SPORTS, I'M SURE HE WAS ABLE TO PAY BACK $600

"I didn't owe him. The biggest misconception in America. It's nothing that has to be explained. The story's already written. I'm not here to make statements about that. I'm really not. I'm more focused on football. I have a normal life that I live. I'm not worried about IK."

-- New York Jets quarterback Geno Smith, refuting an offseason report that former teammate and Bills' captain for last night's game, IK Enemkpali broke his jaw in an altercation that was reportedly over an unpaid $600 debt. (Newsday)

*MIC DROP*

"You're talking about a guy that had a great career and was hard to defend and was a really active defensive player. But this coming from a guy that had 18 unnecessary roughness penalties, seven personal fouls, four roughing-the-passer penalties, a total of 77 penalties in his career and was voted three times the dirtiest player in the National Football League, and was suspended for a helmet-to-helmet hit on Jerry Rice in 2002."

-- St. Louis Rams head coach Jeff Fisher, responding to allegations by former player and current NBC analyst Rodney Harrison that Fisher's teams typically play dirty, and getting in a pretty solid headshot. (The Buzzer)

EVEN RELISH AND KETCHUP AT TIMES TOO

"Any time I had a chance to put a little extra mustard on a block, I tried. He wasn't all that emotional in the game. I guess he is in other games. I don't know if the stuff got to him on the news, but he kind of seemed out of it a little bit."

-- Philadelphia Eagles offensive tackle Lane Johnson, saying he took out his anger at Cowboys defensive end Greg Hardy on the field on Sunday in the wake of the photos released last week of the injuries Hardy inflicted on his ex-girlfriend last year. (Philadelphia Daily News)

HAVE WE EVER SEEN BOTH IN THE SAME ROOM AT THE SAME TIME?

"We can't sit and wait on Romo, he's not Jesus. We can't sit and wait on him. There are games we could have easily won without him being there. We have to be sharper and take advantage of every play and every opportunity to make something happen. There are no excuses to how we are playing. We have to get better. It's our fault. We have to suck it up, keep going and get better."

-- Dallas Cowboys defensive end Jeremy Mincey, saying that the 2-6 Cowboys cannot sit and wait on injured quarterback Tony Romo to return to action because he is not Jesus. The Cowboys are 0-6 since Romo suffered a fractured clavicle. The hope is that Romo can return to action in Week 11 against the Dolphins. (Fort Worth Star-Telegram)

BEING A CASE STUDY IS NOT A GOOD LOOK, WES

"I already played a full season without a concussion, so I'm really not worried about it. I know I'm the poster child right now and everything else. I'm good, and I'm ready to play some ball."

-- Newly signed veteran St. Louis Rams wide receiver Wes Welker, claiming that he is not worried about playing with his well-documented concussion history, even calling himself the "poster child" in the concussion debate in the NFL. (ESPN)

BUT WHAT ABOUT MY ANNUAL COLUMN WHERE I CAN JUDGE ALL?

"That's great, but honestly I don't think anybody is really focused on that. We're focused on the Giants. And some midseason report card; who cares? What difference does it make? Give me an F. Give me a C+. Right now we're focused on the Giants. That's all I really care about."

-- New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, revealing in his Wednesday press conference that he does not really care for midseason report cards. (CSN New England)

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

"The quarterback [Tom Brady] never gets worse. What's wrong with him? That quarterback never gets worse. Like what is wrong with him. You know what I mean? When you get older, you're supposed to get worse. This dude's getting better. Like, it's sick. It's not right. I'm waiting for the wheels to fall off."

-- Buffalo Bills head coach Rex Ryan, commenting on Patriots quarterback and oft-Ryan thorn-in-side Tom Brady, and how he even seems to defy the aging process. (NFL Nation Blog)

MY SALARY IS ONLY $3.5 MILLION THIS YEAR

"I don't want to lose my money."

-- University of Florida head coach Jim McElwain, when asked about why he does not go golfing with predecessor, "Head Ball Coach," Steve Spurrier. (Twitter)

ISN'T JERRYWORLD A WONDERFUL PLACE?

"Yea I blew up on the media but report why I blew up on y'all… saying I don't give a f--- about me and calling players n----s is not professional…"

-- Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant, explaining in a tweet why he blew up on the media on Thursday. Bryant accused Jean-Jacques Taylor from ESPNDallas.com of using the word while talking to wide receiver Devin Street. (Twitter)

I HATE AND LOVE. AND WHY, PERHAPS YOU'LL ASK. I DON'T KNOW: BUT I FEEL, AND I'M TORMENTED

"What they do year in and year out as far as being one of the top teams... they win championships, the way they conduct themselves. But on the other end, they've beaten all the teams that I like... It's still one of my least favorite, favorite teams of all time."

-- New York Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham, explaining his love-hate relationship with the New England Patriots, the Giants' opponent on Sunday. (ESPN)

IN CAMPBELL'S DEFENSE, THE AFC SOUTH IS THE WORST

"I talked to coach Chudzinski, a guy I've got the utmost respect for. We were together in Cleveland, spent some time together, and we had some conversations about some things. But as of right now, I told him I'm kind of enjoying what I'm doing right now. And it's kind of hard just to up and change what I'm doing. And I told him I appreciate the interest and everything… [but] I'm just kind of chilling right now."

-- Former NFL quarterback Jason Campbell, explaining why he opted to turn down the Colts' offer for to backup Matt Hasselbeck, because he's kind of chilling right now. (Washington Post).

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?

"I will apologize to my mother. I owe my mother an apology for swearing on TV and in public. So, I'm sorry, mother."

-- Dolphins defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, offering a public apology to his mother for being caught on a referee's microphone using a profanity during Sunday's game. (South Florida Sun Sentinel)

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 13 Nov 2015

16 comments, Last at 23 Jan 2016, 11:10pm by Melanie

Comments

1
by RobotBoy :: Fri, 11/13/2015 - 3:59pm

That has to be the worst Catullus translation I've ever read.

2
by TomTerrific :: Fri, 11/13/2015 - 5:14pm

The real issue is, why quote Catullus at all? This is football site, for God's sake. The obvious choice is Ovid.

8
by Hurt Bones :: Sat, 11/14/2015 - 9:24am

No, The obvious choice is Virgil. I propose an irrational Latin poetry thread.

10
by LionInAZ :: Sun, 11/15/2015 - 6:08pm

Nonsense. Homer is the go-to for any football thread.

"He fell, thunderously, and his shoulder pads clattered around him."

11
by Jerry :: Sun, 11/15/2015 - 7:46pm

D'oh!

12
by Hurt Bones :: Mon, 11/16/2015 - 7:52am

Now you're entering the even more irrational Greek vs. Latin poetry thread.

3
by Cro-Mags :: Fri, 11/13/2015 - 5:49pm

Fisher, in a lot of ways is more of a successor to Buddy Ryan than Buddy Ryan's own sons. Rex and Rob got the schematic stuff, but they are so much more...affable and likable than Buddy. Fisher, as Buddy's right hand man seem to have gotten that gruff, hard-ass, Cobra-Kai a-holeishness that Buddy exuded.

4
by jacobk :: Fri, 11/13/2015 - 6:14pm

You guys missed the best Lockette related quote, from Michael Bennett. From a local reporter's twitter:

Michael Bennett asked recovering teammate Ricardo Lockette "Can you still have sex? He said yeah. I said, 'So you're good, man!'"

https://twitter.com/gbellseattle/status/663871062908661760

7
by Vincent Verhei :: Fri, 11/13/2015 - 10:56pm

Someday we will do an all-Michael Bennett edition of quotes.

13
by jtr :: Mon, 11/16/2015 - 8:52am

Don't exclude Martellus! It can be an all-Bennett Bro TWIQ.

5
by Steve in WI :: Fri, 11/13/2015 - 6:35pm

Is there any profession in the world, outside of sports, where you can not only ignore a large portion of the information at your fingertips but openly proclaim that you don't WANT more information to help you better make the decisions you are paid to make, and remain employed?

6
by tuluse :: Fri, 11/13/2015 - 7:00pm

Economics, politics, tv evangelism...

(he says, skirting ever so close to rule 1)

9
by chemical burn :: Sun, 11/15/2015 - 1:50am

Yeah, I would say most companies have someone along the chain of command (usually near the top) who are dead set on disregarding significant data. These folks frequently seem to think their "gut" is what makes them valuable and that data is something that can be culled and analyzed by any old jabroni. But obviously, the world is moved far more by superstition and corruption than it is by analysis and fact.

14
by DwayneEAlexander :: Fri, 12/18/2015 - 3:09pm

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15
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16
by Melanie :: Sat, 01/23/2016 - 11:10pm

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