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The biggest game this week is the Iron Bowl, where the playoff hopes of Alabama, Auburn, and Georgia hang in the balance.

07 Mar 2016

The Month in Quotes: February 2016

by Michael J. Bosetti

ARE YOU SAYING KELLEN MOORE IS NOT THE GUY?

"Certainly we want to have a young quarterback in our program who we're developing to be a guy who replaces Tony Romo at some point."

-- Cowboys Head Coach Jason Garrett, talking about the possibility of drafting a quarterback in the 2016 Draft. (NFL.com)

UNLESS YOU’RE BUYING A $200,000 BAG OF DONUTS

“We shopped at Tiffany’s last year. TD, Greg, Luke and Cam. That cost more than a bag of donuts.”

-- Panthers General Manager Dave Gettleman, discussing his more frugal approach to this upcoming offseason. (Charlotte Observer)

BRONCOS HAD THAT SAME PROBLEM WITH PEYTON MANNING BUT I GUESS HE WAS THROUGH FREE AGENCY

"We're drafting guys you've got to change their diapers. It's crazy."

-- Panthers General Manager Dave Gettleman, commenting about how young and immature many NFL draft picks can be. (CBS Sports)

THE AMOUNT OF BIRDS ON YOUR TEAM SHOULD NOT AFFECT WHO IS VOTED CAPTAIN

"I think it’s people reading him wrong. I know (people) expect him to be captain, but with our team, we have 12 eagles that our team voted. There are 12 guys that are voted by the team, and then three guys from that are voted the captains."

-- Former Michigan State Tackle Jack Conklin, giving insight to the Spartans' captain voting process, and defending his teammate when asked why quarterback Conner Cook was not voted as captain. (FOX Sports)

IMAGINE WRITING THAT ON EVERY GOVERNMENT FORM

"First name is 'John Christian.' Middle name is 'Ka'iminoeauloameka'ikeokekumupa'a.'"

-- Former UCLA kicker John Fairbairn, discussing his unique name and admitting that it took him until the seventh grade before he was able to spell it correctly. (KCCI, Des Moines)

WHAT’S BEHIND THE NIPPLE IS VERY EASY TO SEE AT THE COMBINE HOWEVER

"Sometimes it's hard to measure what's behind that left nipple."

-- Chicago Bears Head Coach John Fox, talking about the difficulties of measuring a player's heart before being drafted. (Adam Hoge, WGN Radio)

BACK IN THE OLD DAYS REX SORT OF LOOKED HALF-PREGNANT

"Yeah, I tried to combine, I think, and that was a mistake. I think we gotta be all in. You know, it's kinda like being half-pregnant, you know? Forget that, we're all in. So, we're fully pregnant now."

-- Bills Head Coach Rex Ryan, discussing his hybrid defense this year and lack of commitment to one particular scheme. (SB Nation)

ONE RELATIONSHIP THAT WISHES IT HAD A MARRIAGE-LIKE 50 PERCENT SUCCESS RATE

"It's like a marriage. Yeah, it takes a while. Like any relationship, it doesn't happen overnight. But all indications are ... Like I said, I've known coach since he was at Oregon and see him no different than the conversations I used to have with him when I went in to recruit his players at Oregon."

-- San Francisco General Manager Trent Baalke, discussing his relationship with new head coach Chip Kelly. (INFORUM.com)

BECAUSE NOTHING SCREAMS 'HUMBLE' LIKE TELLING PEOPLE HOW HUMBLE YOU ARE

"That I’m a cocky football player, arrogant, stuff like that. And it couldn’t be further from the truth. That’s why I’m looking forward to sitting down with these teams and let them find out who the real Connor Cook is. That I’m a nice, humble, hard-working kid."

-- Former Michigan State Quarterback Connor Cook, discussing teams' concern regarding his rumored issues dealing with teammates. (ESPN.com)

GUYS ARE ALWAYS ADDING AN EXTRA HALF-INCH

“I think it was 10 and 1/8. I don’t even know if that’s right.”

-- Denver Broncos President John Elway, when asked what his hand size was measured at back before the 1983 NFL draft. (USA Today)

HOW TOUGH MUST HIS SIBLINGS BE TO PICK ON THIS GUY?

"Growing up, I kind of always knew I had big hands. My siblings used to make fun of me all the time. Coming here, I knew I'd measure at a pretty big size. I was trying to shoot for that 12."

-- Former Oregon defensive end DeForest Buckner, talking about his freakishly large hand size of 11¾ inches, tying him for the league's largest hand. (Oregon Live)

NO GUY REALLY WANTS TO SHARE HIS INTERNET HISTORY

"Internet history. Would you share your Internet history with me? I said yea. I search a lot of food, directions, how to spell words because I’m dyslexic, things like that."

-- Former Baylor offensive tackle Spencer Drango, when asked what was the most bizarre question during the combine’s intense interview process. (Black And Blue Review)

NO PUDDING CUPS!?

“I’ve been preparing for this. Bringing peanut butter & jellies, granola bars, trail mix, and all sorts of stuff. Snacks and water are key.”

-- Former UCLA running back Paul Perkins, talking about the difficulties of finding food at the combine. (Black And Blue Review)

WAS IT AIRSOFT OR WAS IT NERF!? SOMETHING DOESN’T ADD UP

“Freshman year we had a little airsoft battle because we lived on the same level for dorms. We ambushed each other with Nerf guns. But, yeah, nothing too crazy."

-- Former North Dakota State offensive tackle Joe Hoeg, when asked about former teammate Carson Wentz’s crazy party stories. (Penn Live)

APPARENTLY HE WAS NOT AN ANATOMY MAJOR

“We’ve been on our feet a lot, up walking around, so maybe I compressed my spine a little bit or something.”

-- Former Ohio State offensive tackle Taylor Decker, on why his combine measured height was lower than what he was listed as at Ohio State. (The O Zone)

FORGET THE VALUE MENU, I HAVE CHALUPA MONEY NOW!

“I like Taco Bell. I mean, obviously I’ll have way more money than I’ll know what to do with, but while I’m pondering what I’m going to do with my money I’ll be eating a chalupa or something.”

-- Former Grand Valley State defensive end Matt Judon, commenting on his love for the finer things in life, such as Taco Bell. (USA Today)

WELL AT LEAST HE IS HONEST

"I'm a first-round pick, no matter what. But off the field, I'm a seventh-round pick."

-- Former Auburn wide receiver Duke Williams, discussing teams being concerned with apparently valid character issues. (CBS Sports)

Posted by: Guest on 07 Mar 2016

9 comments, Last at 09 Mar 2016, 10:48am by Bright Blue Shorts

Comments

1
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Mon, 03/07/2016 - 4:16pm

APPARENTLY HE WAS NOT AN ANATOMY MAJOR

“We’ve been on our feet a lot, up walking around, so maybe I compressed my spine a little bit or something.”
----------

No, he's actually right. You're shorter at the end of the day than you were in the beginning due to a small amount of creep in your spinal discs. It's not a huge effect, but then, we measure stuff to the 1/8" at the combine.

2
by andrew :: Mon, 03/07/2016 - 6:29pm

Now I want a jersey with "Ka'iminoeauloameka'ikeokekumupa'a" on the back of it.

3
by Sixknots :: Mon, 03/07/2016 - 11:56pm

Yaa, but the upa'a will be on your ass.

(can't believe this got by capcha)

4
by dbostedo :: Tue, 03/08/2016 - 1:07am

"(can't believe this got by capcha)"

Agreed... "upa'a" is a terrible thing to say in a comment.

5
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Tue, 03/08/2016 - 8:00am

The questions these coaches are asking at the Combine ... I presume they're mostly trying to get past the "coaching" that agents will have given players on how to give the "right" answer.

But it does leave wonder what they gather from this stuff.

And also whether they start to enjoy asking challenging questions that really aren't going to have much bearing on whether a player can play football.

7
by Jerry :: Tue, 03/08/2016 - 9:45pm

I saw at least one coach say that getting past the coaching is indeed what they're trying to do. If everyone says, "I just want to come in and contribute to the team any way I can," there's no information there. If the team can find out in the 15-minute window that individuals are glib, or dumb as a box of rocks, they've learned something.

6
by commissionerleaf :: Tue, 03/08/2016 - 6:20pm

"what's the worst thing you've ever done with a fork?"

9
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Wed, 03/09/2016 - 10:48am

"Used it to stab people who ask me really dumb questions that have no bearing on my football ability"

8
by meblackstone :: Wed, 03/09/2016 - 9:44am

So Connor Cook is channeling his inner Uriah Heep?