Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

01 Apr 2016

The Month in Quotes: March 2016

guest column by Michael Bossetti

PEYTON MANNING QUOTES ARE LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES

"Like Forrest Gump said, 'that's all I have to say about that.'"

-- Former Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning, during his retirement press conference. (FOX Sports)

ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH BUDDY?

"God bless all of you. And God bless football."

-- Manning, during his retirement press conference. (NFL.com)

REPORTS: MANNING MISSES STORYTIME FOR SECOND CONSECUTIVE NIGHT

"Then she asked, 'Daddy, is this the last game ever?' And that's just when I shook my head in amazement because I was thinking, '[ESPN reporters Chris Mortensen] and Adam Schefter had gotten to my 5-year-old daughter to cultivate a new source.'"

-- Manning, during his retirement press conference. (NFL.com)

APPARENTLY A 60 PERCENT COMPLETION RATE AND FOUR TOUCHDOWNS GO A LONG WAY

"Case is going to come in and be our starting quarterback (at the beginning of organized team activities). He earned it."

-- St. Louis Los Angeles general manager Les Snead, discussing the Rams' plans to open camp with Case Keenum as the starting quarterback. (NFL.com)

OH THAT CLEARS IT UP THEN

"We're going to have plays where it's looks like a catch but it isn't."

-- Vice President of Officiating Dean Blandino, discussing the new, updated criteria for what is considered a catch in the NFL. (Marc Sessler, NFL.com)

SURPASSING NAMES LIKE J.P. LOSMAN AND TRENT EDWARDS

"Fortunately, there are 31 other teams that have watched and will be watching Tyrod. And the fact of the matter is, what Tyrod was able to do as a first-time starter in 2015 was give the Bills the best quarterback play they've had since Jim Kelly."

-- Tyrod Taylor's agent, Adisa Bakari, discussing his client's short-term contract and possible upcoming free agency. (NFL.com)

BELIEVE ME, CURRENTLY THERE IS PLENTY OF ROOM ON THE BANDWAGON

"I can't wait until everybody jumps on the bandwagon when things are going good. I know some things will take time, but I'm not built that way to where I'm comfortable with ever losing. And I don't think anybody in our organization is."

-- Cleveland Browns Head Coach Hue Jackson, commenting on the Browns' lack of activity in free agency. (NFL.com)

KOBE GETS A FAREWELL TOUR, PEYTON GETS SOME OLD BEER CANS

"Just like Jim Morrison's grave, even though it's not a grave Peyton, it will be a destination for people to leave cans of Budweiser or notes for you, so we'll collect those and get them to you as years pass."

-- Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay, revealing his plans for a Peyton Manning statue to be placed by Lucas Oil Stadium. NFL.com)

UNLIKE RICHARD SHERMAN WHO DEFINITELY KNOWS HOW YOU GET A PERSONAL FOUL

"But it sounds like something somebody who's never played the game would say, something that they would suggest, because he doesn't understand. He's just a face. He's just a suit. He's never stepped foot on the field and understood how you can get a personal foul."

-- Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman, showing his disdain for Roger Goodell, as well as the new NFL rules regarding multiple personal fouls. (ESPN.com)

CRIS CARTER ONLY MAYBE GETS THE INVITE?

"Like I said before, you don't have a bunch of guys ... let Jerry Rice and Michael Irvin talk about it for about 20, 30 minutes. Maybe Cris Carter. Randy Moss, let those guys have a roundtable discussion about what a catch should be and come up with a rule."

-- Sherman, talking about the confusion regarding what is and what is not a catch in the NFL at the current moment. (ESPN.com)

YES, THE NFL SHOULD STRIVE TO HAVE A FREE AGENCY PROCESS LIKE THE NBA'S (*cough* DeANDRE JORDAN *cough*)

"Without that, you have to find a way to research guys, but without seeing him and talking to him face-to-face, there's always going to be something missing."

-- Houston Texans Head Coach Bill O'Brien, suggesting that the current free agency process in the NFL should have a moratorium period similar to that in the NBA. (Pro Football Talk)

MY MAIL IS JUST A BUNCH OF COUPONS AND BILLS

"My fiancée found it in a stack of mail, I believe. I vaguely remember getting the hard copy after the Week 1 game. I'm not sure why it wasn't directly deposited like all my other checks. I'm currently trying to contact [the Cardinals] now."

-- Atlanta Falcons linebacker Sean Weatherspoon, revealing to the public that his fiancée recently found an old, uncashed game check for approximately $138,000 from the Arizona Cardinals in the mail. (Pro Football Talk)

POOR, POOR TEDDY

"When this process started, I knew that I wasn't going back to Minnesota. I was like, 'I need a good quarterback.' I need a quarterback who I know is proven, who can get things done, and Flacco, he's always been that guy."

-- Recently acquired Baltimore wide receiver Mike Wallace, talking about his transition from the Vikings, while also taking some digs on former teammate Teddy Bridgewater. (USA Today)

SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE LOVED PURPLE WHILE AT MINNESOTA?

"I used to hate purple. Now I love purple."

-- Wallace, talking about his transition from the Vikings to the Ravens and how it has affected many of his recent feelings. (Baltimore Sun)

TEAM WILL BE STATE CHAMPIONS, NO DOUBT. NO DOUBT IN MY MIND

"#BreakingNews Uncle Rico considered real target to fill QB void. Has great experience throwing n or over mountains."

-- Broncos wide receiver Emmanuel Sanders, searching the Twittersphere for possible replacements for future Hall-of-Famer Peyton Manning. (Twitter)

Posted by: Guest on 01 Apr 2016

6 comments, Last at 22 Apr 2016, 7:15pm by Eric S. Smith

Comments

1
by Noah Arkadia :: Sat, 04/02/2016 - 12:18pm

Uncle Rico! Dude knows his football.

2
by MilkmanDanimal :: Sat, 04/02/2016 - 1:04pm

Pointless rant, but it's the offseason, so . . .

Leave it to Jim Irsay to talk about Jim Morrison's grave. Morrison is buried in Pere Lachaise, a beautiful cemetery on the east side of Paris that's filled with the graves and tombs all of these famous artists and historical figures, including Chopin, Proust, Edith Piaf, Richard Wright, Oscar Wilde, Heloise and Abelard, and loads of others. It's also the site where more or less the last stand of the Paris commune was made in 1871, so it's covered in the blood of Frenchmen spilled by other Frenchmen, and has a whole other historical aspect to it, and it's just a really fascinating place filled with all this intriguing stuff.

Oh, and Jim Morrison is buried there. They had to post a security guard in the cemetery near his grave, because all these @#$!! idiots started spray-painting 'JIM'S GRAVE THIS WAY" and "MORRISON LIVES FOREVER" and crap like that on all of these tombs and monuments that are centuries old, because pointing the way to some no-talent rambling idiot's grave to make it easier for 20-year-old tourists to get together to get stoned in a cemetery is absolutely the BEST way to show you're a respectful guest in another country.

Never cared for the Doors much. After my first visit to Pere Lachaise, I @#$!!! hate the Doors, just because of all that.

Also, Jim Irsay totally seems like the kind of guy who would stumble into that cemetery completely baked, holding a can of spray paint.

3
by Will Allen :: Sat, 04/02/2016 - 5:08pm

I think there's a really good chance that Irsay has suffered significant brain damage via chronic intoxication.

4
by RickD :: Tue, 04/05/2016 - 6:01pm

You know, Drew Bledsoe's first season in Buffalo was pretty good. Better than Kelly's last few seasons, when he had little arm strength left.

Taylor had higher rate stats in 2015, but he was asked to do a lot less than Bledsoe was in 2002. Bledsoe passed for 4359 yards to Taylor's 3035 yards - close to 50% more usage. Bledsoe's biggest issue was throwing way too many picks.

My point here is that Bledsoe was better than most of the QB's the Bills have had in the post-Kelly era.

5
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Wed, 04/13/2016 - 11:31am

Yes and no. Taylor was also Buffalo's 2nd leading rusher and had 77 more rushing attempts (and 500 yards) more than Bledsoe did.

6
by Eric S. Smith :: Fri, 04/22/2016 - 7:15pm

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