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26 Aug 2016

The Week In Quotes: August 26, 2016

by Rob Eves

#HUMBLEBRAGS

"I've been impressed with how Dak played. It kind of reminds me of a little bit back in the day in some capacity. He's playing great. To have depth at that position, it's a big bonus. Hopefully he can continue to do that. And he's a good kid, so you really root for him."

-- Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, giving mad props to rookie quarterback and preseason all-star Dak Prescott, as well as himself. (ESPN.com)

I WOULD HAVE PLAYED HIM AT NT, BUT COME TO THINK OF IT...

"I don't know if he can survive, but he'd scare a lot of people… I would use him as a wide receiver and we would definitely clear out one side of the field because he is so explosive and fast, it would be fun to see him on a football field."

-- Former Tampa Bay and Indianapolis coach Tony Dungy, showing off his Hall Of Fame credentials by suggesting that Usain Bolt, the world's fastest man, might best be suited to play wide receiver had he been in the NFL. (SB Nation)

AT LEAST ONE PLAYER'S IN MIDSEASON FORM ALREADY

"I squandered a great opportunity to separate myself and put the team in a bad situation. No excuse for that, poor, poor quarterback play. I know I can play this game, and I know I'm better than I showed (on Saturday)… Two really bad plays that took away from a great performance and potentially winning a job, so that's really too bad… It's difficult playing like crap on two plays and ruining an opportunity. That's difficult."

-- Denver Broncos quarterback Mark Sanchez, clearly unhappy with his performance after fumbling on his first two possessions against the San Francisco 49ers. (ESPN.com)

$20 MILLION WILL DO THAT FOR YOU

"Here I am again. The team says they want to see another year. That's fine. I've been in this same spot twice with a lot on the line -- my college decision and my career decision. I'm getting paid a good amount this year, and it's not like I'm stressing and losing sleep over it each night, over what's going to happen."

-- Washington quarterback Kirk Cousins, saying that he isn't feeling the pressure at having to play this year without a long-term deal. And given that he's earning top-10 quarterback money this year, why should he? (Monday Morning Quarterback)

ANDY LIKES HIS WITH CHEESE

"Mac always sets the tone on game day."

-- Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Alex Smith, either defending wide receiver Jeremy Maclin's competitive attitude after scuffling with Rams cornerback Lamarcus Joyner on Saturday night, or perhaps demonstrating his enthusiasm for the pre-game meal. (KansasCity.com)

"I'm kind of force feeding him right now."

-- Chiefs head coach Andy Reid, apparently thinking new backup quarterback Nick Foles could stand to gain a few pounds. (Arrowhead Pride)

TURNS OUT HE'S ABOUT AS GOOD AT KICKING AS WE ARE AT DRAFTING

"He's struggling… He's struggling a little bit right now. He's gotta work his way through it."

-- Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Dirk Koetter, acknowledging the underperformance of second-round draft-pick kicker Roberto Aguayo, who was booed by fans after missing three of six attempts in practice. (ESPN.com)

WE COULDN'T SEE HIM OVER THE LINEMEN

"There's this thing scouts talk about -- it's comparables, and for Wilson, who were they? Who at quarterback has had success in the NFL under 6 feet tall? Fran Tarkenton? Maybe Doug Flutie. But like John Schneider said to Pete Carroll before the draft, 'aside from his height, what's wrong with him?' When I think back now, it was a chickens--t call by me. I didn't have the balls to take Russell Wilson."

-- Arizona Cardinals general manager Steve Keim, regretting that he didn't take Russell Wilson back in 2012. In fairness, so probably do a lot of teams. (Monday Morning Quarterback)

…IN ABOUT 3 WEEKS OR SO

"Regular plays that are usually 2 and 3 yards are going for 5 and 6… It's on the players, at the end of the day. We've got to stop the run… There's a sense of urgency to get it done."

-- Kansas City linebacker Derrick Johnson on the Chiefs' defensive performances in the preseason so far. Look out for a miraculous turnaround come Week 1 where they face the Chargers. (KansasCity.com)

TRULY PISSED AT THE MOVE

"Join us every Sunday and hate watch the Rams with us all season long. Their losses are YOUR gains as we will offer Hotshots customers $1 off all domestic pitchers for every TD against the Rams, every week! The more they give up (which will be a lot), the more you can win while we root on literally ANYONE else. We have not forgotten what Stan and his cronies did to our city so we will have your shot to take a few jabs at them each week as well. Come root on the Rams to lose like only they can at Hotshots and get cheap beer! It's a win-win!"

-- St. Louis sports bar "Hotshots," where folks aren't happy with the Rams' move (back) to Los Angeles (Hotshots)

WELL, HE CAN CERTAINLY THROW ONE

"Hope he can hit a curveball. Baseball's pretty hard."

-- Seattle Seahawks quarterback (and former minor league baseball player) Russell Wilson, offering some advice to former NFL quarterback Tim Tebow, who is reportedly seeking a contract in baseball's minor leagues. (Monday Morning Quarterback)

POSSIBLY HAVING THEIR COMBINED SUPER BOWL WINS?

"What could be sweeter than Raiders, Broncos and Patriots fans all helping pay for the project when they pay their hotel bill?"

-- Former San Diego quarterback Dan Fouts, in an advert aired at the Chargers game on Friday night, aiming to garner support for a San Diego hotel tax increase which could be used to help fund the team's new stadium should they remain in the city. (Monday Morning Quarterback)

DON'T TELL THE DINOSAURS

"Mermaids Are Real"

-- Sign from Rams practice this week, after it was revealed on Hard Knocks that defensive end William Hayes said he was looking forward to moving to Los Angeles so he would have a better chance of seeing a mermaid, legitimately. (SB Nation)

DEZ BRYANT GETS ANGRY AT THINGS No. 34,997

"We're just going to see what happens. Like I told Madden, they put me at 90. I'm not worried about that. That rating going to shoot up real quick, you best believe that. I play Madden, I (expletive) love Madden. They would do me like that? Oh my God. That is an insult, like why would you do that to me? How much I love y'all. Like that? Not John Madden, because I love him. It's the developers."

-- Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant, slamming the makers of Madden NFL 17 for dropping his rating in this year's edition. EA Sports was quick to point out that it might be Bryant's kicking ability that's holding him back. (Sports Illustrated)

THEY DON'T CALL HIM 'FAT TONY' CORRENTE FOR NOTHING

"I think the refs are in cahoots with the mob."

"I get that (Roger Goodell) makes the owners money, but literally anyone could do that. A dog could. He's a dog in a suit."

"They turned down a lot of stuff for me, interviews, sponsorship deals, stuff I didn't even know about. They wanted it to be about the two main guys, (Cam Newton) and (Luke Kuechly)."

-- Washington cornerback Josh Norman, sharing some extreme and hilarious views about the league and his old team in Carolina. (SB Nation)

Posted by: Rob Eves on 26 Aug 2016

40 comments, Last at 13 Sep 2016, 8:05pm by jellygamatgoldg

Comments

1
by MilkmanDanimal :: Fri, 08/26/2016 - 2:24pm

The best thing about Aguayo sucking in the preseason is it effectively gives the world a daily reminder that Tampa drafted a kicker and thereby regularly reinforces the fact the team I root for is run by morons.

7
by Vincent Verhei :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 1:21am

Traded up for a kicker.

Just to be fully accurate.

10
by Will Allen :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 12:51pm

Jerk

18
by justanothersteve :: Sun, 08/28/2016 - 8:23pm

At least Vince was being a fully accurate jerk

13
by MilkmanDanimal :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 9:23pm

"Sure, he's on fire and he's currently being bitten by a dog that's on fire, but I'm going to kick him as well. Also, my foot is on fire."

9
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 7:06am

As a Lions fan who lived through the Nate Freese experience in 2014, you have my sympathies.

14
by ChrisS :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 11:02pm

Thanks for dredging up repressed memories. Especially painful after 30(?) years of Eddie Murray and Jason Hanson. How many games did kicking lose the Lions that year?

16
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Sun, 08/28/2016 - 7:47am

The Buffalo game for sure, and the whole flow of the Carolina game changed because of the two first half misses. Luckily Matt Prater was both available, and has worked hard to get his life back together.

The moral of the story is don't #%&$*$! spend draft picks on kickers. Even if you find a Jason Hanson or a Sebastian Janikowski, it's not worth it. You can find a reasonable kicker as a free agent/undrafted rookie, and spend that draft pick on another player. I love Jason Hanson, but I still don't think he was worth a second round pick.

17
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Sun, 08/28/2016 - 9:46am

I'm not totally against spending a draft pick on a kicker given that if he's actually decent someone else will draft him rather than let you get him as a free agent.

Because while there are a lot of free agent kickers in the league, it's also possible to get on the merry-go-round and lost games that could have be won (as the Detroit comment says). And with the increased difficulty of XPs it may now be even more critical to find the right person for the longterm

In that respect New England spending a 4th rounder on Gostkowski looks to have been worthwhile particularly given how rarely low round draft picks work out. Probably anything in the first three rounds is too much though.

(This is in essence the RoboPunter discussion being replayed)

19
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 5:22am

Yea, I think you're probably right that using a day 3 pick is defensible, in that those players often don't make the team, anyway.

20
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 8:40am

Technically, he was.
http://www.pro-football-reference.com/years/1992/draft.htm

If anything, he was worth a late 1st round pick. We can argue fungibility, but his career was worth his draft slot.

That was actually a pretty good draft for DET, and Hanson was their 3rd pick. Porcher and Scroggins were taken before him.
http://www.pro-football-reference.com/teams/det/1992_draft.htm

28
by tuluse :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 12:35pm

How are you defining "worth"?

21
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 8:49am

You remember the Murray years more fondly than I do.

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/198312310sfo.htm#all_kic...

1983 Playoffs had some bad kicking, but this one hurt.

33
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Tue, 08/30/2016 - 9:28am

To be fair, heartbreaking playoff losses are a general Lions tradition, not Eddie Murray specific. Eddie was simply adding to the pantheon.

35
by LionInAZ :: Tue, 08/30/2016 - 7:46pm

To be fair even more, placekickers were not nearly as accurate then. I also recall that Murray was one of the last of the straight-on kickers, who were not as accurate as soccer-style. I also believe the rule about not lining up over the center was not in place then.

38
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Wed, 08/31/2016 - 3:20am

Did Murray convert to become a soccer-style kicker then?

Mark Moseley (Redskins) was the last straight-ahead kicker in his final years at the Browns circa 86-87.

39
by LionInAZ :: Fri, 09/02/2016 - 12:38am

I think I misremembered that part about his kicking style. I was in grad school then and wasn't paying so much asttention. The only memory that really stuck with me from that time was a frustrated Billy Sims slamming his helmet down on the sideline.

29
by tuluse :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 12:38pm

Most of the Bucs fans I know seem like good people, so while I'm sympathetic to the lot of you, the Bucs totally imploding in completely predictable ways is so entertaining I can help but cheer it on.

2
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Fri, 08/26/2016 - 3:31pm

Cunning promotion about the Rams. Except the one part of their team that's been strong is the defense - 4th best last year in TDs allowed.

3
by apk3000 :: Fri, 08/26/2016 - 3:40pm

Well, I'm pretty sure that place doesn't want to actually give away reduced price drinks, so I'm guessing that wasn't a concern of theirs.

4
by Scott C :: Fri, 08/26/2016 - 5:46pm

Selling one extra $1 off drink probably earns them more money than not selling one.

12
by evenchunkiermonkey :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 8:01pm

Domestic keg is about $90.
1,984 fluid oz in a keg.
60 fluid oz in a pitcher.
33 pitchers per keg.
$2.75 aproximate cost per pitcher.

Yep, checks out.

15
by dbostedo :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 11:52pm

Most places I've been, 60 oz is a generous pitcher too!

5
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Fri, 08/26/2016 - 5:58pm

Boy, is Hayes going to be disappointed when he sees a manatee (or a dugong).

Sailors were not a discriminating lot.

6
by dbostedo :: Fri, 08/26/2016 - 9:06pm

Neither Manatees nor Dugongs exist on the Pacific Coast... so if he manages to see either, that would still be pretty special. Not mermaid special I guess...

22
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 8:51am

Dugongs exist on the Pacific coast, just not the American Pacific coast.

36
by LionInAZ :: Tue, 08/30/2016 - 7:58pm

The funny part was that he claimed there was no evidence at all for dinosaurs, but never said why mermaids exist. I guess he got that info from the Disney Channel (tm).

8
by Guest789 :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 2:04am

So was Norman kidding around, or is he actually nuts/egomaniacal?

11
by Will Allen :: Sat, 08/27/2016 - 1:08pm

I've heard NFL fans say, time to time, when Bolt was younger, that he should try the NFL. This indicates that they don't realize to things. One, how much money Bolt makes, and two, you have to love money or violence to be a good NFL football player. Or at least be o.k. with being subjected to extreme violence.

As to other quotes this week, I couldn't figure out why Wilson was such a low draft prospect, so I figured he really must have the stature of a jockey, even though he didn't seem that short on television. The guy obviously had very other attribute to be an above average NFL QB. It really was a case of cowardly group think.

Tim Tebow is either a moron or a phony. If he really thinks you can take an 11 year layoff from competitive baseball, from high school, to late 20s, and get himself to the point of hitting major league pitching, he's just a moron, or he is just trolling the media once again because he loves the attention. For all the love of competition he says he has, it really seems he only loves it when it is exactly on his terms. If he was really driven to play qb, he would have tried to prve himself in Canada, after the NFL gave up on him, like many other guys have done. What an attention whore.

23
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 9:49am

It's maybe not as stupid as you think. Bolt is insanely wealthy *for a track star*. But that's like being an extremely tall midget.

Forbes projects that AJ Green is actually worth more than Bolt is, so it's not unreasonable for Bolt to have done better as WR than as a sprinter. Especially considering his value is mostly in promotions, and it wouldn't have been impossible for Bolt to keep sprinting on the side.

http://www.forbes.com/athletes/#504cbee66e34

He's never been a technician as a sprinter, so I don't think less dedicated training would have affected him as strongly as it would many of his peers.

24
by Will Allen :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 10:17am

That list isn't net worth. It's 2016 earnings. A.J. Green's rank is an artificat of how NFL contracts are structured; he'll drop significantly in 2017. Bolt's rank (32nd highest earning athlete in the world in 2016) will not. Bolt's risk of career ending injury is a fraction of Green's. It's unreasonabe to think that playing wr in the NFL would have generated more wealth for Bolt.

25
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 10:48am

Bolt's earnings are also artificial, the measured year being most of an Olympics year. He does better than Green's marketing in his off years, but it's not a shocking difference.

Bolt's net worth, as far as it can be determined, is probably in that range. He has a reputation for being profligate with his earnings. He spends much of it on wine and women, and wastes the rest.

26
by Will Allen :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 11:23am

In the non-Olympic period of June 2013-June 2014, Bolt was the 45th highest earning athelete in the world, at 23.2 million. A.J. Green will not be as high as the 45th from June 2016-June 2017. It is not reasonable to think that Bolt would have earned more money playing football.

27
by aces4me :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 11:28am

"He spends much of it on wine and women, and wastes the rest."

I got a chuckle out of that one.

30
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 12:45pm

Bearing in mind that the average net annual income in Jamaica is the equivalent of US $2,300 ... I'm sure Bolt feels pretty comfortable with only earning $23million in a year.

37
by LionInAZ :: Tue, 08/30/2016 - 8:18pm

I'm not sure that Tebow is a moron, but he seems like an egotistical self-promoter who happens to hide it under a veneer of spirituality. He has shown himself to be immune to rational advice.

Any case, he's just following in the footsteps of Jordan and that nitwit Sanders. He can hardly bomb out more than those two.

31
by jtr :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 3:49pm

If I ran an MLB team with a single-A minor league team in Florida, I'd sign Tebow even if he couldn't hit a ball off a tee. I can't stand the guy, but he has a large and very dedicated following. I'm sure you could make back his minor league signing bonus just in the boost in ticket/beer/merch sales for your MiLB squad.

32
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Mon, 08/29/2016 - 3:58pm

Is it allowed to put a guy on the roster and then tell him his job is to go sell peanuts in the stands?

34
by jtr :: Tue, 08/30/2016 - 12:42pm

Of course, he would receive a firm reminder that company policy forbids throwing the bags of peanuts to fans. Can't have Tebow miss his target by three rows and pelt someone in the back of the head!

40
by jellygamatgoldg :: Tue, 09/13/2016 - 8:05pm

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