Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

09 Dec 2016

The Week In Quotes: December 9, 2016

by Rob Eves

UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY

"I've had a few wins in my career, as well. I've also been able to be very, very fortunate and [had] a long career. You can look at it as is the glass half full or half empty -- I look at it as half full. I'm just honored that I still have an opportunity to coach in this league."

-- Los Angeles Rams head coach Jeff Fisher, celebrating his new contract extension as he approaches the all-time coaching losses record and locks up his fifth straight season at .500 or worse.

"Coaches, we don't like making excuses, we just move on from week to week to week… We didn't have [Robert Quinn] yesterday, we didn't have Tavon Austin, we didn't have Rodger Saffold yesterday and we played the New England Patriots. If you're going to have a chance to beat them, you need to go in there with all hands on deck."

-- Fisher, stoically refusing to make more than four excuses for the Rams' loss to the New England Patriots. (NBC Pro Football Talk)

NO THANKS

"He's had five years, five years of losing, enough is enough… I asked him, 'where the naked pictures at?'… He must have got something on someone because five years is enough… you can't subject all the Rams fans to another year."

-- Former L.A. Rams running back Eric Dickerson, recounting asking current Rams COO Kevin Demoff if Fisher will be back for another season. (Colin Cowherd, Twitter)

TIME FOR A RANDOM DRUG TEST

"It's top secret. For now, you guys call me Ronald… It's my new name. Ronald. For now, call me Ronald."

-- Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown, insisting for some reason on being addressed as "Ronald" in his presser last Friday. (Jeremy Fowler, ESPN)

STAND BACK!

"I feel like we're very close to exploding as an offense."

-- Houston Texans quarterback Brock Osweiler, feeling confident about his ability to lead the team's offense heading into the final stretch of the season, after the Texans suffered a 24-13 loss on the road to the Green Bay Packers. (ESPN)

SO IS VINNY TESTAVERDE

"One day the kids will be proud of old pops… He's in a rap song."

-- Dallas Cowboys tight end Jason Witten, alluding to the new A Tribe Called Quest track "We The People…" in which he's mentioned, alongside former starting quarterback Tony Romo. (ESPN)

OH FIDDLESTICKS

"It's a lot worse than, 'Oh darn.'"

-- Atlanta Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan, explaining what was going through his head when Kansas City Chiefs safety Eric Berry intercepted him for a late two-point defensive conversion as the Chiefs won 29-28 at the Georgia Dome. (MMQB)

CRIMES OF FASHION

"Well, when (you're) 6-foot-5, trying to get a shirt. I was away from home for a week. I didn't pack a shirt. It was a lot of ties that I was given, but I can't wear a tie with this (a black turtleneck)."

-- Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton, excusing his violation of team dress code policies and missing the opening snap of the Panthers' 40-7 loss to the Seattle Seahawks on Sunday night as punishment. (Seattle Times)

I WONDER WHY?

"First of all, I don't have that many friends."

-- Arizona Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians, dismissing reports citing Arians' "friends" as saying that he plans to retire after this season. (Kent Somers, Twitter)

FYI RYAN FITZPATRICK, BROCK OSWEILER

"Try to throw it to my team and not theirs."

-- Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles, outlining his plan to avoid so many interceptions for the rest of the season. (Matthew Coller, ESPN)

THEY UNDERSTAND THAT LOSING IS BAD

"They booed us yesterday. They don't understand a damn thing."

-- Jacksonville Jaguars wide receiver Allen Robinson, lashing out at fans for booing the 2-10 Jags. (Sports Illustrated)

THROWING SHADE, MANNING STYLE

"They haven't lost since the first game. I think I remember who beat them that game."

--New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning, subtly reminding everyone that he and his teammates were the last club to beat Dallas, their opponents on Sunday Night Football this week, before the Cowboys went on their current 11-game winning streak. (Pat Leonard, NY Daily News)

EVEN MIKE ZIMMER CAN SEE IT

"Everyone can see it. Stevie Wonder can see it."

-- Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr., complaining about the standard of officiating during the Giants' 24-14 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Pat Leonard, NY Daily News)

IT'S JUST A GAME COACH

"It was a tough loss… But as Sir Andrew said: 'Fight on me men… I'm a little hurt but not slain. I'll lay down and bleed a while, but I'll rise to fight again.'"

-- Michigan Wolverines coach Jim Harbaugh, quoting The Ballad of Sir Andrew Barton as the Wolverines look for motivation for their December 30 Orange Bowl game against Florida State, after missing out on the College Football Playoff and a shot at the Big Ten title with a 30-27 loss to Ohio State. (Detroit Free Press)

BLESS THEIR PARENTS

"I love (Jim Bob Cooter's) name… He and Captain Munnerlyn. I recruited Captain way back when I was in Carolina. Those two are right up there, player and coach. But I love saying Jim Bob's name."

-- Chicago Bears head coach John Fox, enjoying the names of Detroit Lions offensive coordinator Jim Bob Cooter and Minnesota Vikings cornerback Captain Munnerlyn. (Detroit Free Press)

THE MOST EXCITING MOMENT ON MONDAY NIGHT

Boomer Esiason: "Well that was the biggest cheer of the night as we got a couple of idiots running out on the field right now. Taking their shirts off, running all over the place and the last person I would want to run into is a New Jersey state trooper."

Kevin Harlan: "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH! Did you see that tackle? OH! and the other guy is knocked down!"

Esiason: "They're actually hitting harder than the Jets defense. I'll tell you that one kid may be just absolutely knocked out on the 26-yard line."

Harlan: "What a hit."

Esiason: "And that was just a unbelievable hit by a New Jersey state trooper who came in right behind him. Don't be messing with the state troopers man, I'm telling you."

-- Westwood One Sports announcers Boomer Esiason and Kevin Harlan, juicing up the coverage on the Monday Night tilt between the Indianapolis Colts and the New York Jets as a pair of streakers invaded the field late in the Colts' blowout win. (SB Nation)


THE WEEK IN GIFS, PICS & TWEETS!

PHOTOBOMB

-- An NFL official grabs a quick selfie during the Kansas City Chiefs' 29-28 win over the Atlanta Falcons.

I'M SEEING DOUBLE -- FOUR PATRICIAS!

-- From left to right; New England Patriots defensive coordinator Matt Patricia on the sidelines during the Patriots' 26-10 win over the L.A. Rams, and a lookalike fan spotted in the stands.

WORTHY CAUSE

META

-- Oakland Raiders punter Marquette King, celebrating by throwing down a penalty flag after earning a roughing the punter call against the Buffalo Bills… which earned him a penalty flag for unsportsmanlike conduct.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL FAILED INNOVATION OF THE WEEK

-- The Clemson Tigers attempting an ambitious 11-man coverage scheme on a routine third-and-9 against Virginia Tech. The Hokies went on to score a touchdown on the drive, although Clemson eventually won out 42-35.

SICK NOTE

THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH SIERRA NEVADA YOU CAN GET ON A PLANE

Posted by: Rob Eves on 09 Dec 2016

31 comments, Last at 12 Dec 2016, 10:32pm by LionInAZ

Comments

1
by jtr :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 4:46pm

Glad to see Captain Munnerlyn get some well earned recognition. His father, Admiral Munnerlyn, has never been so proud of his son. Unfortunately, siblings Swabbie Munnerlyn and Cabin Wench Munnerlyn have been far less successful.

2
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 5:08pm

If he has a child, he has to name him "Midshipman" or "Ensign", right?

3
by PatsFan :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 5:44pm

Dunno if joke or not, but your caption has the Patricias backwards.

5
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 6:22pm

Or does it?

11
by Rob Eves :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:54pm

I checked and it definitely doesn't, think you might be getting them confused?

13
by PatsFan :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 11:15pm

Caption says "From left to right; New England Patriots defensive coordinator Matt Patricia on the sidelines during the Patriots' 26-10 win over the L.A. Rams, and a lookalike fan spotted in the stands."

The one on the right is clearly the real Patricia as he is next to players and has a headset on. Thus the one on the left is the lookalike.

Or you're goofing with me, which is certainly a possibility :)

16
by RobotBoy :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 7:01am

I'm with you.

25
by JohnxMorgan :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 5:43pm

You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype.

4
by tuluse :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 6:22pm

I think it speaks volumes about the Bears this year that the coach is just talking about names of people.

9
by jtr :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 7:29pm

To be fair, it was a midweek teleconference with the opponents' beat writers. When you make a head coach waste their time on silly stuff like that, it's not really surprising that the coach doesn't end up taking it seriously.

12
by tuluse :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 10:15pm

Don't let reasonableness get in the way of a mediocre joke I always say.

6
by commissionerleaf :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 6:46pm

Fisher gets a lot of flak for a coach that has gone about .500 in the NFL over the past fifteen (most pass-happy) years without ever having had a franchise quarterback (let alone a really good quarterback) (except the one or two years when McNair was good, when he went to the AFC championship and lost to one of the best teams of all time at the height of its powers.)

7
by tuluse :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 7:07pm

1) McNair was absolutely a franchise QB

2) Coaches have input on the QBs on their team, both in selection and development

8
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 7:16pm

Second that...and it was Fisher that literally ran Eddie George into the ground and underutilized McNair.

10
by JohnxMorgan :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 7:48pm

Even by ANY/A, McNair rated at 107% of average over his career. That's a match for Terry Bradshaw, and doesn't factor in McNair's rushing or that rushing's contributions to the Titans overall running game. As I remember it, Tennessee pretty regularly rated in the top ten in rushing DVOA during McNair's time. This despite starting the physical embodiment of three yards and a cloud of dust: Eddie George.

I've come to think the Seahawks lose to Fisher's Rams in a joint agreement between Fisher and Carroll, in order to keep Fisher employed.

14
by MC2 :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 11:34pm

Fisher could have had a franchise QB. In 2012, the Rams selected 5 players (Michael Brockers, Brian Quick, Janoris Jenkins, Isaiah Pead, and Trumaine Johnson) while Russell Wilson was still on the board. That's 5 picks in the first 3 rounds, but hey, why bother to take a QB, right? After all, they had the great Sam Bradford!

I've said it here many times before, and I'll keep saying it: It is beyond baffling that some people keep making excuses for a guy who has 6 winning seasons out of 20.

26
by Winterguard78 :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 7:40pm

I think that it's folly to assume Wilson looks much better than Sam Bradford or Jared Goff with that staff and personnel. That's not a knock on Wilson, who is fantastic, but just acknowledging how important coaching, opportunity, and surrounding talent is in making any QB look good. Look @ Kurt Warner in STL&ARZ compared to the guy in NY or Palmer in Oakland/Arizona, even Brock in Denver/Houston (what an outfit Elway runs talking about names his last 3 QB's Brock/Trevor/Paxton. You just know that a guy named Paxton isn't getting into the HOF)

I also think very few coaches (Carroll/Reid/Arians/Bill Sith Lord) have the talent/balls/security to start Wilson with a high priced and profile FA QB like Seattle had that year.

28
by MC2 :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 11:45pm

Sure, it's a bit of a chicken-or-egg thing (although with the exception of his first couple of games, I thought Osweiler looked just as bad with the Broncos as he does with the Texans).

But ultimately, it's still Fisher's fault, because it's the responsibility of the coach to not only find a decent QB, but to develop him and surround him with enough talent to allow him to reach his potential. Fisher totally failed to do that with Bradford, and I'd be shocked if he does any better with Goff.

30
by commissionerleaf :: Mon, 12/12/2016 - 1:20pm

I thought the Rams were wrong to trade up for a quarterback, but in defense of Fisher:

1. Sometimes a frog is just a frog. A coach can't kiss a frog and expect it to turn into a prince unless there was a prince inside there waiting to get out. And nothing about any quarterback Jeff Fisher has been provided since Steven McNair has indicated that there was a prince inside waiting to be awakened. It isn't like Vince Young, Kerry Collins (with whom Fisher went 13-3 once) or Bradford have gone on to amazing things afterwards.

[And both Young and Bradford went to Philadelphia, under noted offensive coaches Reid and Kelly.]

2. I think Fisher is probably an excellent coach, because he has consistently won about half his games in the NFL without a quarterback. That's a hell of an achievement.

[Sean Payton has five seasons of 8-8 or worse with DREW BREES.]

15
by dbostedo :: Fri, 12/09/2016 - 11:41pm

I enjoyed the RaiderJoe reference!

17
by RobotBoy :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 7:06am

Sam Bradford, as recent revisionist NFL history has made clear, is a pretty good QB. Why Fisher didn't use him properly might have some relation to his problem with winning.

19
by Theo :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 1:48pm

In my country (and about every other country except North Korea), you have a right to vacation days by law - which you can take pretty much however you please.
Come on america, do you want to be more like North Korea, or do you want to be more like, you know, planet Earth?
Andy Reid's note is hilarious though. Didn't another coach do this before?

21
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 2:44pm

Don't already North Korean men have to have the same haircut as Kim Jong-Il or whoever the current leader is?

Imagine if all Americans had to have hair like Trump!

22
by Theo :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 3:19pm

Some one now. That's like saying "see, things are not THAT bad over here".

27
by Winterguard78 :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 7:45pm

That would be about as practical as his wall built with slave labor and paid for by a foreign government. I'd sport that do for life if it means literally anyone sane and competent gets the nuke codes. In other news, Mark Davis is obviously a NK sleeper agent with his hairstyle a tribute to glorious leader.

18
by Theo :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 1:36pm

Take a close look at the Virginia Left Guard. He goes "ok blocked, no one inside, no blitzers, ok now what... hey look an airplane!"

20
by jtr :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 1:59pm

The whole thing is pretty funny, watching the confused linemen looking for someone to block and not finding anyone.
Kind of reminds me of this confused guard:
http://cdn3.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1011109/nflhaynesworth.gif

EDIT: my Captcha started with the characters "RG3", apparently Captcha hops on board when you troll the Washington Football Team

23
by Theo :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 3:22pm

Good one. He stayed in play.
As a DC I would ALWAYS rush at least 2 people.

24
by dbostedo :: Sat, 12/10/2016 - 4:47pm

Ha!! Maybe he was looking at the scoreboard? Or the blimp? I would have been equally confused!

And please, please, PLEASE, don't refer to Virginia Tech as "Virginia". It's an insult! Like calling Florida State just "Florida", or Texas A&M just "Texas", or Ohio State just "Southern Michigan".

29
by ChrisS :: Sun, 12/11/2016 - 10:09pm

Agree. I just watched a women's volleyball game and the announcer repeatedly referred to one team's prior opponent as Michigan and they had just played Michigan State. MSU does NOT equal U of M. I cringed each time and I am more of a U of M fan.

31
by LionInAZ :: Mon, 12/12/2016 - 10:32pm

Will Boomer Esiason ever be allowed back in NYC after trolling the Jets D?