Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

21 Oct 2016

The Week In Quotes: October 21, 2016

by Rob Eves

DON'T WORRY, NOBODY WAS WATCHING

"We blew it, this feeling is gross. It's like we pissed down our own leg."

-- Indianapolis Colts linebacker Erik Walden, finding an apt comparison for the Colts' 23-26 meltdown overtime loss against the Houston Texans, as the Colts managed to blow a 23-9 lead in the final three minutes. (Tricia Whitaker, CBS Indianapolis)

HE'S CRAZY

"I'm encouraged… You guys probably think I'm crazy, but I'm encouraged."

-- Colts head coach Chuck Pagano, taking the positives from the result. (Indy Star)

OF COURSE HE'S THINKING ABOUT BRISKET

"I just want to know for all the fans who left, I hope their brisket turned out OK."

-- Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork, chastising the home Texans fans who left the Colts game early and missed their team's late comeback. (SB Nation)

BEAR TRAP GAME

"Sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you. Back to the lab."

-- Pittsburgh Steelers defensive end Cameron Heyward, tweeting his analysis of the Steelers' 30-15 loss to the Miami Dolphins on Sunday. Heyward sat out the game with a hamstring injury. (Cameron Heyward, Twitter)

MORE TOUCHDOWNS THAN TED GINN, JR.

"It's a simple pass… They block. I catch. I lean forward. They clear the way."

-- Kansas City Chiefs 346-pound nose tackle Dontari Poe, explaining the offensive play in which he lined up at wide receiver as part of a bunch formation and caught a backwards thrown ball for a touchdown on third-and-goal during the Chiefs' 26-10 win over the Oakland Raiders. (MMQB)

A TROUBLED COUPLE

"Well, our relationship is growing. I thought we might as well make it serious. I proposed and she said yes. Me and the net are going to get married sometime soon. Hopefully it all works out. I'm 23, so I don't know much about marriage. She seems like a pretty nice gal."

-- New York Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham, Jr., proposing to the kicking net -- the same one which he viciously attacked in the Giants' 27-29 loss to Washington back in Week 3 -- after scoring a touchdown to help the Giants defeat the Baltimore Ravens 27-23. (MMQB)

HE SHOULD KNOW

"(That block was) a scary b-tch-ass move… If you have to dive at someone else's leg you are a little b-tch."

-- Seattle Seahawks defensive end Michael Bennett, blasting Atlanta Falcons offensive tackle Ryan Matthews for a low block that led to Bennett being taken out of the game during the Seahawks' 26-24 win over the Falcons. (Bob Condotta, Seattle Times)

HAVE YOU TRIED TURNING IT OFF AND ON AGAIN?

"As you probably noticed, I'm done with the tablets. They're too undependable… I just can't take it anymore… There are very few games where there aren't issues in some form or fashion with the equipment… There's a lot of things involved, and inevitably, something goes wrong somewhere at some point in time… And first of all, you have to figure out what the problem is. Is it a battery? Is it a helmet? Is it the coach's pack?… It could be one of 15 different things… It was a problem last week. It's basically a problem every week… I'm done with the tablets. I'll use paper pictures from here on, because I just have given it my best shot."

-- New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, explaining why he no longer uses the league-supplied Microsoft Surface tablets to view plays on the sideline during games. Microsoft originally paid $400 million to make the Surface "The Official Tablet of the NFL." (Zack Cox, NESN)

R-E-L-A-X

"Have a glass of scotch and chill out a little bit, watch the film."

-- Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, taking some time to chill as he dissects the Packers' surprise 30-16 home loss to the Dallas Cowboys. (ESPN)

WATCH OUT FOR HIS ONYX

"There's no ill will toward Brock. I am happy he got paid… But it's competition. We want to kill him… We know that Brock likes to hold the ball so I feel that we can get a lot of good pressure on him… Just watching their offense, I think this can be a great week for us, I can say that."

-- Denver Broncos linebacker Brandon Marshall, looking forward to facing former Broncos quarterback Brock Osweiler when the Broncos take on the Houston Texans on ESPN's "Monday Night Football." (NBC Sports)

CHECK THE STANDINGS

"We run the damn East. Not Philly, not Dallas, not all (sic) of them. We run the damn East. Better remember we got that damn title."

-- Washington defensive end Ricky Jean Francois, lording it up as his team defeated its NFC East rivals the Philadelphia Eagles 27-20 on Sunday. (J.P. Finlay, CSN Mid-Atlantic)

OUTSTANDING JOURNALISM

"Bravo. Bravo, you're the champions of the NFC East. Wow! I'm so touched! I mean, can we stop and throw a party in the nation's capital? You are the champions of the NFC East. I'm so touched. I'm so touched. Where's the tissues? Look, let me wipe my tears away. I mean, this is just so touching. I can't believe it, I'm getting emotional right now. The Washington Redskins are the champions of the NFC East… By the way, a division where they were the only team above .500, and you want a cookie. You're going to literally walk through a locker room, through the hallways en route to your locker room, bragging -- bragging! -- about the fact that we're the real champions of the NFC East. What, do you want a cookie? No wonder y'all are losers."

-- ESPN "First Take" host and "windup anger muppet" Stephen A. Smith, getting a little worked up about Jean Francois' postgame comments. (First Take)

VOTE OF CONFIDENCE

"(Landry Jones) knows the playbook. It's less about what he knows, more about what he's capable of executing."

-- Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin, probably planning on keeping things conservative as the Steelers prepare to host the New England Patriots without the services of injured starting quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, instead turning to unimpressive backup Landry Jones. (ESPN)

REFRESHING HONESTY

"Yeah, they beat the sh-t out of us."

-- Arizona Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians, identifying the common thread in all three of his home games (all losses, by a combined score of 105-34) against the Seattle Seahawks. Arians and the Cardinals host the Seahawks for the fourth time in Arians' tenure on Sunday night. (Kent Somers, AZCentral Sports)

…AND YOU DON'T WANT TO BE IN A BAD MOOD, DO YOU?

"If you don't prepare you're not going to (win), then everyone's going to tell you that you suck, and you'll be in a bad mood."

-- West Virginia University head coach Dana Holgersen, dishing out some sound advice ahead of the Mountaineers' upcoming game against Texas Christian University. (Chris Brown, Smart Football)

YIKES

"When you give up 438 rushing yards and offensively you have 32 yards rushing, you're not giving yourself an opportunity."

-- Tennessee Volunteers head coach Butch Jones, dissecting the Vols' 49-10 blowout loss to the Alabama Crimson Tide on Saturday. (SEC Country)

CC: CHAD KELLY

"Focus and preparation is different now then it ever has been… My generation spent all our time out in the front yard playing games. And so they were more ready to go into college athletics. They understood all the dynamics of it compared to young people nowadays. They don't spend as much time around football, they spend more time playing some game on a phone. Because of all that, and the training that takes place, there's more parity in college football."

-- Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy, berating kids these days for their dependence on smart phones. (Sports Illustrated)

ON ITS LAST LEGS

"KEN BONE WORE RED FOR WISCONSIN!!!"

-- Sign seen on ESPN's "College Gameday," claiming American citizen, undecided voter, loving husband and red sweater aficionado Ken Bone to be a fan of the Wisconsin Badgers. (SB Nation)

HE"S BEEN WAITING ALL SEASON TO MAKE THIS JOKE

"I got to tell you, there was five or six throws yesterday where I took a knee in protest… those are horrific throws for the NFL, or college… And I have to say, there were a few times on defense where I took a knee and protested our lack of coverage."

-- Former San Francisco 49ers tight end Brent Jones, critiquing the 49ers' disaster performance on Sunday earning them a 45-16 whipping at the hands of the Buffalo Bills, as quarterback Colin Kaepernick made his first start of the season in place of the ever-disappointing Blaine Gabbert. (KNBR)

Posted by: Rob Eves on 21 Oct 2016

1 comment, Last at 21 Oct 2016, 3:07pm by DEW

Comments

1
by DEW :: Fri, 10/21/2016 - 3:07pm

As a Dolphins fan, my loathing of all things New England Patriots in general and Bill Belichek in specific is practically a tenet of my religion...

...but that was glorious.