Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

23 Sep 2016

The Week In Quotes: September 23, 2016

by Rob Eves

FOOTBALL COACHING… NOT EXACTLY BRAIN SURGERY

"I'm a football coach. I'm not a doctor ... They don't call plays, I don't do surgeries. We have a great deal here."

-- New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, confirming indeed that he is not a doctor after being asked about the health of injured quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo. (Mike Reiss, ESPNBoston.com)

THE JOSH McCOWN & Cody Kessler SHOW

"We just have to hand it to him enough times… If you have a runner you believe in, you have to give him the ball. He has to get a feel for the game and be able to play within the structure of what you are trying to accomplish with the offensive line. That's why I said I take responsibility for that. I think he is off to a good start. We just have to give him opportunities to go show his ability."

-- Cleveland Browns head coach Hue Jackson, focusing the Browns' offense around running back Isaiah Crowell ahead of their game against the Baltimore Ravens last Sunday following a shoulder injury to starting quarterback Robert Griffin III. Backup Josh McCown was also injured in the 25-20 loss, and rookie Cody Kessler is set to start in Week 3. (The Chronicle-Telegram)

I DON'T SEE HOW THAT WOULD HELP BUT OK

"For this city, for the coaching staff that worked their butts off and my teammates, I'll do anything to help us win, anything, cut my finger off, whatever I've got to do."

-- Browns wide receiver Terrelle Pryor, preparing to take one for the team ahead of their game against the Miami Dolphins on Sunday. (Cleveland Plain Dealer)

CAN'T BLAME HIM FOR HEDGING

"We're going to get a win this week, for sure. Obviously you want to have that extra day to prepare, but I just feel like after a loss like that, you're just so ready to get back at it. We're definitely ready to play Sunday."

-- Los Angeles Rams running back Todd Gurley, half-heartedly guaranteeing a Rams victory over the Seattle Seahawks before their game last Sunday. Fortunately for Gurley the Rams pulled off the 9-3 upset, aided by his 51 rushing yards from 19 carries. (Turf Show Times)

15 YARDS, TAUNTING

"It felt good to get to swing the home run… Even though it was in different colors and at the same field I've done it so many times, it was a good feeling."

-- Dallas Cowboys running back Alfred Morris, still celebrating after his touchdown against Washington, his former team, as the Cowboys beat their division rivals 27-23. (DallasCowboys.com)

…SUCH AS BY ALFRED MORRIS

"I've seen worse, I'll put it like that. I've seen worse."

-- Kansas City Chiefs safety Eric Berry, defending his teammate, cornerback Marcus Peters, who was flagged for taunting after wagging his finger during the Chiefs' 12-19 loss to the Houston Texans. (The Kansas City Star)

DEFENSIVE BACKS EVERYWHERE PANIC

"I see what Dennis is doing and man, I'm inspired… It's great to play with a guy like that. To see how he's playing after what he went through, and seeing him shifty, and being the old Dennis, it's fantastic."

-- Baltimore Ravens wide receiver Steve Smith Sr., possibly getting some ideas about extending his own career (again) on veteran tight end and teammate Dennis Pitta's successful start to the season after sitting out most of 2015 with a hip injury. (Baltimore Sun)

HE'S WELL KNOWN FOR BEING PRONE TO INJURY, AND BY ASSOCIATION DEATH

"There was a couple times he got hit -- I thought he was dead. He wasn't moving, so I had to pick him up. I'm like, 'Sam, don't be dead.'"

-- Minnesota Vikings guard Alex Boone, fearing for the life of quarterback Sam Bradford during the Vikings' 17-14 win over the Green Bay Packers. (USA Today)

"It's loud, for some reason, in the stadium… There's a lot of times where we can't hear the center. We could barely hear the snap count today a couple times… I'm not saying it's the fans' fault, but I'm just saying, it would be nice if they would shut the f--- up a little bit."

-- Boone again, asking the Vikings' home fans for a little peace and quiet while the offense goes to work. (ESPN)

NO PRESSURE IN L.A.

"If you're talking about Jared, I don't want to be a broken record here but we're going to play him when he's ready… I thought it was a great experience for him (Sunday). He loved it. I talked to him this morning and said, 'This is going to be your home for a long time.' And he's excited about that. When that happens we'll let you know… When he's under center, you'll know, OK? So keep asking that every week if you want. You can ask it again, if you want."

-- Los Angeles Rams head coach Jeff Fisher, refusing to speculate on when No. 1 overall draft pick, quarterback Jared Goff, will take over as the team's starting passer. (Los Angeles Times)

GIVE THIS MAN AN EXTENSION

"(Fisher) hands us the ball and he's like, 'Here.' Then he makes us stand in the end zone, and he's like, 'You see this? This is a football. This is the end zone. This is where you're supposed to be.'"

-- Rams tight end Lance Kendricks, revealing Fisher's latest coaching techniques as the team looks for its first touchdown of the season. (TheRams.com)

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

"I was kidding about that, I mean, holy smokes… My wife would kill me… Well, maybe not. She'd probably want me to sleep in the office more."

-- Houston Texans head coach Bill O'Brien, clarifying comments he made that he would be sleeping at the Texans' facility in a bid to prepare for their game against the New England Patriots on Thursday night. (Houston Chronicle)

APPLY COLD WATER

"Keenan said that? That's interesting… Where's he playing at? I didn't know he was even on a team. You can print that."

-- Washington safety DeAngelo Hall, firing shots at former teammate, New York Giants linebacker Keenan Robinson, for claiming that a toxic locker room environment led him to leave Washington. (New York Post)

A MAN OF DISCERNING TASTES INDEED

"I drank a lot of milk… a lot of milk. Whole milk, though. Not the candy-ass 2 percent or skim milk… We won't drink any of that candy-ass skim milk or 1 percent. Won't have any of that"

-- Michigan Wolverines head coach Jim Harbaugh, fanning the flames of the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry by ridiculing State head coach Urban Meyer's apparent penchant for skim milk. (Dan Patrick Show)

THEY DON'T CALL THEM 50-50 BALLS FOR NOTHING

"Your success rate on 50-50 balls is usually 40 percent."

-- Arizona Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians, misunderstanding percentages in discussing the play of New York Jets quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick against the Buffalo Bills last week, during a conference call with Bills' media members. (Buffalo News)

GOD FORGIVES, NORMAN DOESN'T

"I'm working on it… I don't bow down to nobody."

-- Washington cornerback Josh Norman, unwilling to get over his 2015 feud with New York Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. ahead of their game this coming Sunday. (CSN Mid-Atlantic)

MAD MIKE: FURIOUS RANT

"I'm a fan and it pisses me off. There's nobody in the world that has a right to be a bigger Bears fan than me. I don't care what people say, think or do. I'm a Bear fan and I want them to win and I want them to be the best. In order to do that you gotta have people who are committed to the same thing… You can't cook the meal without the groceries. You gotta get the people. You gotta have the people who can not only play but who are hungry to play, that have a passion to play. Players who know it's just not about a paycheck. You can't be about a paycheck. It's about playing a game you love for that reason -- you love it.  And you're fortunate that they pay you to do that. HELLO?!? They're going to pay me for doing what I love to do? Now, how lucky was I? You tell me. Athletes get paid to do what they love to do. Now if you're not doing your best every time then I think you're foolish."

-- Former Chicago Bears tight end and head coach, Hall of Fame member Mike Ditka, blasting the current team's attitude after an 0-2 start to the season. (Chicago Sun-Times)

Posted by: Rob Eves on 23 Sep 2016

20 comments, Last at 16 Nov 2016, 9:27am by markcuban

Comments

1
by Dr. Gamera :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 11:39am

The Terrelle Pryor quote is surely a Ronnie Lott allusion.

http://mmqb.si.com/2014/06/17/nfl-history-in-95-objects-ronnie-lott-ampu...

2
by ChrisS :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 1:03pm

As it turns out O'Brien could have slept at home and longer and they would not have lost by more.

3
by nat :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 1:38pm

THEY DON'T CALL THEM 50-50 BALLS FOR NOTHING
No, they usually call them that because the defender and receiver each have an equal chance to catch the ball. Calling them "35-30-35 Balls" would be technically more accurate but misleading to most listeners.

A 40% success rate does seem high for a typical 50-50 ball. Still, I'd say his understanding of passing the football trumps your literal interpretation of statistics.

4
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 1:58pm

Three things can happen when you throw the ball. Two of them are bad.

5
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 2:00pm

Now four things of which three are bad ... Lombardi had never heard of a failed completion

13
by Rob Eves :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 9:31pm

I do understand this but the quote still sounds strange in isolation without context, and anyway the angle I was seeing it from is that apparently they *do* call them 50-50 balls for nothing.

edit: Put another way, Arians' quote does make sense once you parse the semantics of the term "50-50 ball" but it still sounds pretty ridiculous in isolation, partly due to the slightly misleading nature of said term.

10
by Theo :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 7:06pm

Agreed.
Assuming that 50-50 balls are really that, that is a misunderstanding of statistics.

I still love the "90% of the game is half mental" quote.
It's credited to both Madden and Yogi Berra...

14
by El Muneco :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 10:25pm

It probably wasn't Berra. He never said most of the things he said.

18
by mehllageman56 :: Sun, 09/25/2016 - 11:16am

The really absurd thing about that Arians' quote is that he was giving bulletin board material to their opponent three weeks away, and simultaneously ignoring this week's opponent. If he had just said the Bills' secondary was unlucky last week that would have worked better, and meant the same thing. Perhaps you should just pay attention to this week's opponent, Bruce.

6
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 2:03pm

Mike Ditka is tedious. I mean he's right but he's tediously loudmouthed.

He was at least fun in those 80s press conference "See that ... that's your IQ buddy" ... "I'd rather talk to that guy"

7
by Kaelik :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 3:02pm

For the most part, I think anyone talking about a teams "attitude" and how they don't love the game is bullshit. There are probably plenty of Browns and Bears that love the game. They probably just aren't as good at is as other people.

If someone actually had evidence that the bears "don't love the game" I'd love to know what their evidence is. And if their evidence is "they keep losing games" or "my subjective perception of their attitude when I watch the game on TV is that they don't care" then I'm going to have to file that under "Really Shitty Attempt At Evidence."

12
by TomC :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 8:30pm

Agree with all of this.

16
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Sat, 09/24/2016 - 5:56am

His surly press conferences when he was losing with the Saints were pretty entertaining, too. But yea, whenever I he's on TV or radio as an analyst, I have to quickly turn down the volume before I throw out my back from cringing so hard.

17
by PirateFreedom :: Sat, 09/24/2016 - 10:28pm

Ditka thinks those SNL bears superfan skits from many, many years ago were a documentary about America's intellectual leaders and that fundamental mistake has made him the man he is today.

8
by Guest789 :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 4:58pm

"Sam, don't be dead" is the hardest I've laughed at a quote from an NFL player since Goddamnit Donald.

11
by Theo :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 7:11pm

I had "the 6th day" flashbacks.

It's an ok Arnold Schwarzenegger movie about cloning. It starts off with an XFL quarterback Johnny Phoenix (yes, really) gets cloned after getting killed at the football field.

It's a good watch. Don't expect too much but it has nice ideas.

15
by JoeyHarringtonsPiano :: Sat, 09/24/2016 - 5:53am

Johnny Phoenix? Wow, that's an even worse fake QB name than Johnny Utah.

19
by The Hypno-Toad :: Mon, 09/26/2016 - 12:10am

Wait, really? I watched and enjoyed that movie when it was in theaters, but I remember nothing at all about the XFL. I think I remember there being a reference to Blade Runner. And I just realized after looking at IMDB that other than a couple of really quick shots, I had merged this movie and The End of Days (Also a Schwarenegger vehicle, and I think actually from the same year) into one fun nonsense movie.

9
by TimK :: Fri, 09/23/2016 - 6:38pm

I hope Jeff Fisher demonstrated by standing in the correct endzone, or at least explained that teams might change ends. Can't afford to give away many 2s when you are only scoring in 3s.

20
by markcuban :: Wed, 11/16/2016 - 9:27am

Reminds me of a George Carlin Quote:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!

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