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» Scramble for the Ball: 2017 West Over/Unders

If the Cardinals and Seahawks will fly so high, the 49ers and Broncos tell their friends goodbye, and the Chargers and Rams start life anew, what exactly will the Raiders and Chiefs do? Your Scramble team seeks a peaceful life in the open air out west.

05 Jun 2017

The Month In Quotes: May 2017

by Rob Eves

STILL BETTER THAN PHIL SIMMS

"I know I'll probably stink for a while."

-- Former Dallas Cowboys quarterback and new CBS broadcaster Tony Romo, acknowledging the upcoming rookie struggles he's likely to face in the booth. (Dallas Star)

WOOF

"Get a dog… Keep your head low baby… When Roger Goodell goes out before the draft and gets booed, he should have me go out first! I should be like his warmup act. Because every fan is totally convinced I hate their team."

-- NBC Sunday Night Football announcer Cris Collinsworth, offering some advice to Romo and newly hired FOX broadcaster Jay Cutler, as they begin their respective post-football careers. (Awful Announcing)

CALVIN JOHNSON WOULD LIKE A WORD

"The Madden NFL 18 cover is a great honor for me. Especially since I have been playing the game since growing up next to EA headquarters in the Bay Area. I'm not one to believe in curses, so I'm ready to take the challenge head on like always! It doesn't stand a chance!!!"

-- New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, looking forward to taking on the "Madden Curse" as he appears on the cover of the 2018 edition of EA Sports' popular NFL video game franchise. (Washington Post)

HOPE HE'S READY FOR THE 28-3 TRASH TALK

"I want to be more disrespectful this year when I run the football."

-- Atlanta Falcons running back Devonta Freeman, aiming to play the position more aggressively this year. (Andrew Siciliana, Twitter)

NOT THIS AGAIN

"He's how you draw a quarterback up. Big, strong arm, athletic. He fits that mold, for sure. And his mindset, it's right on. He works very hard. I think he's a sharp kid. He's got a lot in front of him. He's got a great opportunity."

-- New York Jets quarterback Josh McCown, saying all the right things about second-year teammate Christian Hackenberg. (ESPN)

THE ACTUAL JOKE IS THE JETS' QUARTERBACK SITUATION

"The joke is that I'm going to put that picture (of the sack) in my man cave and have them sign it. That way, one day when I have kids, I can show 'em who their daddy is so they won't mess with me."

-- Jets third-year quarterback Bryce Petty, reminiscing about the double-team sack he received from Miami Dolphins pass-rushing duo of Ndamukong Suh and Cameron Wake. (ESPN)

AND HERE I AM EARNING NOTHING TO NOT WEIGH 250 POUNDS, LIKE A SUCKER

"What kinds of things? Eating a lot… I'm from Louisiana. I like good food. Gotta change it."

-- Seattle Seahawks running back Eddie Lacy, outlining his plans to lose weight in order to meet bonus-releasing benchmarks built into his contract. Lacy stands to make $385,000 if he weighs 245 pounds or less during the 2017 season. (ESPN)

DELUSIONAL (ADJECTIVE):

"I think the proof is in the film for the past two years."

-- Cleveland Browns quarterback Brock Osweiler, explaining why he still thinks he's good enough to start in the NFL. (Andrew Siciliano, Twitter)

NEWS TO NOBODY

"I hated it. I've never played against a more literal psychopath in my life. Guy was a nutjob."

-- New Detroit Lions guard T.J. Lang, formerly of the Green Bay Packers, describing his experiences playing against former Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh. (Pardon My Take, Barstool Sports)

AS WAS NO DOUBT SAID ABOUT JIM TOMSULA

"This is my sixth head coach (in 11 years)… Yeah. Um. But there definitely is a different feel with a new coach coming in."

-- San Francisco 49ers offensive tackle Joe Staley, feeling optimistic about new head coach Kyle Shanahan. (Mercury News)

CAN HE CATCH YET THOUGH?

"He certainly doesn't look like he's lost a step. He can fly."

-- New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees, getting excited to work with newly-signed wide receiver Ted Ginn Jr. (ESPN)

CHANGE THE CHANNEL, MARGE

"He has put together an extraordinary offseason. He took the physical challenge that we throw out there to have the best offseason of your life. He is having that. He is working in all areas of his game. It's really important to him. He's maxed that out. He's right on it."

-- Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll, respecting the great offseason tradition of hyping up the work ethic of his big-name players (Russell Wilson, in this case) with points to prove. (ESPN)

STILL GOT IT

"My sons are not gonna play football, I beat up my body so they could have a free ride… I'm not gonna physically stop them, I mean I probably could… and they're probably not gonna be as good."

-- Former NFL running back Arian Foster, explaining why he doesn't want his kids to play football. (The Joe Rogan Experience)


THE MONTH IN PICS, TWEETS & GIFS

FINE ME LATER, PART 2

-- Atlanta Falcons rookie defensive end Takkarist McKinley, celebrating signing his $10 million contract with the team.

PRIDE OF NASHVILLE

-- Tennessee Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota and his offensive line, enjoying Game 3 of the Nashville Predators' Western Conference finals win over the Anaheim Ducks.

WHOOPS!

-- MMQB writer Andy Benoit not realizing the Buffalo Bills general manager Doug Whaley had already been fired immediately after April's draft forgetting to update his scheduled tweets. (Andy Benoit, Twitter)

'HE'S A FORMER BASKETBALL PLAYER'

-- Oakland Raiders punter Marquette King, critiquing the punting form of Golden State Warriors point guard Steph Curry, who showed off his flexibility celebrating a 3-pointer scored during the Warriors' win over the Cleveland Cavaliers in Game 1 of the NBA finals. (Marquette King, Twitter)

THE PROUDEST MODERN BROWNS TRADITION

-- Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas, going Top Gun for the Browns' annual roster photo day. (Dan Murphy, Twitter)

CLASSES R POINTLESS

A post shared by Cardale Jones (@cardale7_) on

-- Buffalo Bills quarterback Cardale Jones, graduating from Ohio State University. (Cardale Jones, Instagram)

Posted by: Rob Eves on 05 Jun 2017

15 comments, Last at 07 Jun 2017, 4:08pm by Noah Arkadia

Comments

1
by bubqr :: Mon, 06/05/2017 - 4:24pm

Joe Thomas loosk like a muscular version of Chris Pratt (P&R era).

6
by Guest789 :: Tue, 06/06/2017 - 2:56pm

Cannot unsee.

7
by Theo :: Tue, 06/06/2017 - 4:18pm

and more charismatic

9
by The Ninjalectual :: Wed, 06/07/2017 - 5:07am

What is a Chris Pratt (P&R era).?

11
by apk3000 :: Wed, 06/07/2017 - 7:53am

P&R = Parks and Recreation TV show

2
by Wade8813 :: Tue, 06/06/2017 - 9:10am

Russell Wilson has no points to prove. It's also not hype - the guy has an absurd work ethic, and speaking as a Seahawks fan, I actually wish he'd take it down a notch (in the sense that I want him to have a better sleep schedule).

The only issue I'd have with that Pete Carroll quote is that it may not be actually possible for Russ to have a better offseason than the ones he's had in the past.

3
by Noah Arkadia :: Tue, 06/06/2017 - 12:45pm

That's precisely the hype. You'll see that "best offseason of his life" coming out of every team's camp this time of the year. It's almost as if they were trying to sell tickets and some team PR guy gave them some lines to say.

4
by mrt1212 :: Tue, 06/06/2017 - 12:50pm

Pete suggests ideas to the PR team when they're feeling down.

5
by jtr :: Tue, 06/06/2017 - 1:05pm

Seriously. This is the time of year when every veteran is in the best shape of his life and every rookie is picking up the scheme with lightning speed. It's pretty silly to read anything at all into these quotes.

10
by Wade8813 :: Wed, 06/07/2017 - 7:09am

In this case the point is that the team always issues the challenge "Have the best offseason of your life", it's just a part of his Always Compete philosophy. It's probably not entirely literal - if you go out and have basically the best offseason you're capable of having, that's probably sufficient to warrant having 'met the goal'.

12
by Rob Eves :: Wed, 06/07/2017 - 1:29pm

And meanwhile, all the other NFL head coaches are happy for their players to "compete some of the time, or don't, it's your choice" and tell their players not to work too hard on their offseasons, presumably.

14
by Noah Arkadia :: Wed, 06/07/2017 - 4:07pm

Maybe it's a motivational ploy and that's fine, too. It just doesn't mean anything as far as how well the player will be that year when you get right down to it.

8
by PatsFan :: Tue, 06/06/2017 - 9:25pm

Hey Rob -- you've really been great on TWiQ! Definitely in the TWiQ compiler Hall of Fame!

Sorry to be seeing you go :( [at least that's what I assume the intern job posting implies]

13
by Rob Eves :: Wed, 06/07/2017 - 1:32pm

Hey well that's really kind of you to say, I don't expect any thanks for having done these little columns for the last year so it's a nice bonus :)

I'm sure whoever takes over will be able to do as good a job or better, I trust Aaron and Vince to get some good applicants and make a strong selection.

15
by Noah Arkadia :: Wed, 06/07/2017 - 4:08pm

Yes, they've been the best.