Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

14 Aug 2017

The Week In Quotes: August 14, 2017

Compiled by Cale Clinton

OH CRY ME A RIVER

"We had a problem... We had no more room to put banners so we had to change the construction around, so we have a surprise for our fans."

-- New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft vents about the struggles and sorrows of being unable to fit his team's fifth championship banner into Gillette Stadium. (Boston Herald)

NOW THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN GET BEHIND

"I think if we have a few big years and make the playoffs, if we win a Super Bowl, I'm giving out beer to everybody."

-- Philadelphia Eagles right tackle Lane Johnson making some lofty promises that we will for sure take him up on. That's gonna be one hell of a parade. (ESPN.com)

SHE'S A CRUEL MISTRESS

"Hot babes in college, you might get eye contact, maybe a smile and then never hear from her again, right? So I'm chasing this hot babe known as the Lombardi Trophy. I got a couple looks at one point in time, distant glances. No smiles yet. I'm trying to get up close and personal to that babe. That's it. I gotta end it on that."

-- Minnesota Vikings cornerback Terence Newman, aged 38, comparing the Lombardi Trophy to a "hot babe" that he's trying to win over in the twilight of his NFL career. (Minneapolis Star Tribune)

I SEE HONEY BADGER'S BACK ON THE WEED

"I'm the best player in the world, that's how I feel."

-- Arizona Cardinals cornerback Tyrann Mathieu telling the world his confidence is back after stating during the offseason he wanted to "quiet the noise" surrounding him. (AZCardinals.com)

LAVAR BALL BREAKING BARRIERS, NOW RUNNING HIS MOUTH ABOUT TWO SPORTS

"[New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski] can't hang with me back in my heyday, too fast, too strong!"

Basketball father and perennial source of hot takes Lavar Ball, making his way into the NFL headlines by saying that in his heyday, he was leagues better than the consensus best tight end in the NFL, Rob Gronkowski. (Rizz and Hammer, ESPN Cleveland)

"Man, he's talking all that junk -- and he was garbage. Personally, I think the most athletic people in the world are basketball players, and he actually wasn't a bad athlete, to be honest with you. But he was no comparison to what his kids are -- let's just put it like that."

-- Former cornerback and Ball's ex-teammate Kenny McEntyre, reacting to Ball's braggadocios quote (Bleacher Report)

THE QUEENS WE USE WOULD NOT EXCITE YOU

"I've been fortunate in my career to have guys like Duke Johnson that have not only great running skills, but also skills as a receiver and skills as a player-in-space… They're like the queen on the chess board. They can move to every spot. They can do everything and they give you an advantage when it comes to personnel matchups."

-- Cleveland Browns receivers coach Al Saunders giving a glowing review for running back Duke Johnson. (Cleveland.com)

THIS WEEK IN COLIN KAEPERNICK

"What you do off the field, don't let too many people know, because they gonna judge you anyway. No matter what you do. No matter if it's good or bad… if you do nothing else young man, get back on the football field and let your play speak for itself."

-- Former Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, desperate for relevancy, giving some personal advice to current free-agent quarterback Colin Kaepernick. (TMZ)

"Ravens HC John Harbaugh & GM Ozzie Newsome support signing Colin Kaepernick, but have met resistance from owner Steve Bisciotti per sources"

-- ESPN's Dianna Russini, reporting Kaepernick-related conflict amongst Ravens management. (Dianna Russini, Twitter)

"Your opinions matter to us. We're very sensitive to it, and we're monitoring it, and we're still, as Ozzie says, scrimmaging it, and we're trying to figure out what's the right tact. So pray for us."

-- Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, on the team's consideration of signing free-agent quarterback Colin Kaepernick. (CNN)

"We are going through a process, and we have not made a decision. Steve Bisciotti has not told us we cannot sign Colin Kaepernick, nor has he blocked the move. Whoever is making those claims is wrong."

-- Newsome, in a statement released via the Ravens' Twitter account. (Baltimore Ravens, Twitter)

"I find it crazy that a team has to reach out to sponsors & fans about signing someone who peacefully protested social injustice!!! Wonder... Did they have to reach out to keep a player after a murder trial or a two game Domestic violence suspension?! Just questions."

-- Former Pittsburgh Steelers defensive back Ryan Clark, questioning whether the Ravens have a moral leg to stand on given the way they have stood by Ray Lewis and Ray Rice in the past. (Ryan Clark, Twitter, Part I and Part II)

THE MAN'S GOT A GOOD POINT

"I hope All these young cats that are willing to die for the game of football find a higher purpose in life... Look football is great but I ain't dying for this sh*t. Lol."

-- Green Bay Packers tight end Martellus Bennett bluntly giving his opinion on making the ultimate sacrifice for the game of football. This is in reaction to Jets rookie Jamal Adams saying that the football field is the "perfect place to die." (Martellus Bennett, Twitter, Part I and Part II)


THE WEEK IN PICS, GIFS, & TWEETS

THE NEWEST ADDITION TO 'AWFUL DEPICTIONS OF TOM BRADY'

-- NBC Boston sports anchor Raul Martinez, highlighting a new wax statue of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Despite his "pretty boy" looks, depictions of Brady have always resembled something out of the Uncanny Valley.

JAY CUTLER: NEVER PRETENDING FOOTBALL IS ANYTHING BESIDES A JOB TO HIM

-- Former Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler in his first appearance with the Miami Dolphins, filling in for an imjured Ryan Tannehill, as captured by Jason Lieser of the Palm Beach Post.

TOP-5 RETIREMENT ANNOUNCEMENT OF ALL TIME, ANY SPORT

-- Former New England Patriots and Houston Texans defensive tackle Vince Wilfork, 35, announcing that after 13 seasons, he is finished with pro football and will move on to full-time eating.

WHEN THE PROJECTIONS FOR THIS SEASON BRING BACK MEMORIES OF 2007

(ALTERNATE HEADLINE: ELI MANNING DANCES EXACTLY HOW YOU WOULD EXPECT HIM TO DANCE)

-- Basically the entire New York Giants team having some fun after training camp, dancing to "Pull Up On a Kid" by Young Thug (Twitter)

ROOKIE 1, VET 0

-- A clip from Panthers training camp showing rookie running back Christian McCaffrey spinning veteran linebacker Luke Kuechly like a top on one particular play. (Bill Voth, Twitter)

FINALLY, PARTICIPATION TROPHIES CAN BE PUT TO GOOD USE

-- Jacksonville Jaguars rookie running back Leonard Fournette, in an ad for Met-RX, melting down and destroying more than 700 trophies and having them molded into weights to be donated to a Jacksonville high school. (YouTube)

BATTLE FOR LOS ANGELES

-- Tempers flare as the Chargers and Rams brawl during a joint practice, as captured by Lisa Lane of Fox Sports.

Posted by: Cale Clinton on 14 Aug 2017

10 comments, Last at 17 Aug 2017, 3:13pm by The Ninjalectual

Comments

1
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Tue, 08/15/2017 - 9:08am

Re: Chargers-Rams fight:

Ladies, ladies. Look, you're both ugly.

6
by The Ninjalectual :: Tue, 08/15/2017 - 2:26pm

If only they would put that kind of effort into dancing, like those nice young men from New York...

2
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Tue, 08/15/2017 - 9:09am

I didn't realize LaVar went to four different colleges.

Truly a man of dedication and loyalty.

3
by Guest789 :: Tue, 08/15/2017 - 10:32am

That Vince Wilfork video... legendary.

4
by ChrisS :: Tue, 08/15/2017 - 1:17pm

I was loving it, until it turned into a charcoal commercial

5
by Led :: Tue, 08/15/2017 - 1:27pm

Those meats aren't going to pay for themselves.

I'm a Jets fan, and I am a wholehearted fan of Vince. He's a great player and, to the extent its possible to "know" these guys, he seems like a pretty darn good husband, father, and man too. I like to think of Vince and Nick Mangold hanging out and cooking meats for their respective families in the offseason, like the NFL version of Ralph Wolf and Sam Sheepdog.

8
by Alternator :: Tue, 08/15/2017 - 10:12pm

If there was ever a man to make a commercial for charcoal, it's the guy who can wolf down a whole grilled cow.

7
by The Ninjalectual :: Tue, 08/15/2017 - 2:31pm

Nobody ever thought anyone would ever say this, but the courtroom sketch Brady is probably the best one.

9
by TomC :: Thu, 08/17/2017 - 2:25pm

Oh hooray, the return of Jay Cutler means the return of the lazy "Jay Cutler doesn't give a shit" jokes. I expect better from this site.

10
by The Ninjalectual :: Thu, 08/17/2017 - 3:13pm

And you receive better from this site, all the time. But this is a TWIQ post, not a DVOA analysis.