Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

27 Jan 2017

The Week In Quotes: January 27, 2017

by Rob Eves

MUST BE NICE

"We're going to the Super Bowl, man. Sh-t."

-- New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, giving a very genuine post-game reaction to winning the AFC Championship against the Pittsburgh Steelers. (Joon Lee, Bleacher Report)

IN ATLANTA, CLEARLY

"WHERE IS ROGER?!"

-- Patriots fans, taunting the absent NFL commissioner Roger Goodell during the AFC Championship Game. Goodell did not show up in Foxborough this postseason. (SB Nation)

EVERYBODY WINS

"As much as I'd like to see my buddy (Alex Mack) win a super bowl, I would sure love to see (Roger Goodell) have to hand a trophy to Brady!"

-- Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas, rooting for Atlanta Falcons center and former teammate Alex Mack in the upcoming Super Bowl, but happy to accept the consolation prize of an embarrassed league commissioner. (Joe Thomas, Twitter)

EVERY SINGLE TIME

"I couldn't really tell you what would have worked because we didn't do it… Man coverage probably would have worked, just to limit the time that he had to run their routes, and the pressure would have hit home."

-- Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback Artie Burns, second-guessing the Steelers' defensive tactics against the Patriots. (Trib Live)

NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT

"I stand by my statement. If the NFL wants my money, they can have it."

-- Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, refusing to retract his comments about referee Carl Cheffers, who officiated the Chiefs' divisional round loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Kelce was fined $12,500 for his comments. (ESPN)

TRANSLATION: SIGN SOME PLAYERS PLEASE TED

"We've just got to make sure we're going all-in every year to win. And I think we can take a big step this offseason."

-- Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers, probably throwing a shot at general manager Ted Thompson and his "hands-off" approach to free agency. (ESPN)

*BIAS DETECTOR EXPLODES*

"I'm not being biased because I play for the Cowboys, but I think we're the only team that had a shot to beat the Falcons."

-- Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant, feeling good about the team's chances to have halted the Atlanta Falcons' Super Bowl run, if only they hadn't lost themselves to the Packers in the divisional round. (Bleacher Report, Twitter)

THE FIRST TWO GAVE IT AWAY

"I'm drunk, I'm stupid, I'm a Pats fan"

-- New England Patriots fan Dennis Harrison, making a statement to police after being arrested for deliberately setting off the fire alarm at the Pittsburgh Steelers hotel the night before the AFC Championship Game. (Chris Villani, Boston Herald)

*COUGH* SKIP BAYLESS *COUGH*

"Media plays a gigantic role in our sport. There's just too many dumbs fanboys/girls in the profession right now, not all, but a lot."

-- Indianapolis Colts punter Pat McAfee, throwing some shade on the sports media. (Pat McAfee, Twitter)

"Thank God."

-- McAfee, capturing the collective mood of Colts Nation as it was announced that general manager Ryan Grigson had been fired. (Pat McAfee, Twitter)

MORE RUB-INS FOR SAN DIEGO FANS

"Coach Lynn, I am so excited for you. Not only will you be coaching in the most magnificent arena in the world, you'll actually have a replay screen that is actually large enough to see the replay."

-- Los Angeles Rams COO Kevin Demoff, addressing new L.A. Chargers head coach Anthony Lynn at a public introduction in Inglewood, California, the site of the Rams' new facility set to open in 2019, where the Chargers will also play as tenants. (Los Angeles Sentinel)

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

"I don't know if that should be the retribution… I don't know what the course should be. But I think that's a bit harsh."

-- Seattle Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman, believing it would be a bit harsh for the NFL to dock the Seahawks a draft pick for failing to report his knee injury suffered towards the end of the season. (ESPN)

EVER SEEN THEM IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER?

"I'm just telling you, if they pass on Deshaun Watson, they're passing on Michael Jordan. I'm just telling you."

-- Clemson Tigers head coach Dabo Swinney, comparing his draft-eligible former quarterback Deshaun Watson to NBA Hall of Fame member Michael Jordan. (ESPN)

I'LL HAVE WHATEVER HE'S ON

"Almost by every barometer, the quality of the game is better on Thursday night."

-- The universally detested Goodell, needing to recalibrate whatever barometers the league is using to measure the quality of games. (Fox Sports)


GIFS, PICS & TWEETS

GOD FORGIVES, SAN DIEGO DOESN'T

-- Church sign in Fallbrook, San Diego, condemning the Chargers franchise to hell. (Reddit)

INSERT JOKE ABOUT PUMPING SILENCE

-- Atlanta librarians, making a poor decision as to where to host their convention when the NFC Championship Game is being played at the Georgia Dome.

BENNETT VS. BLANK DANCE-OFF PLEASE

-- New England Patriots tight end Martellus Bennett, celebrating the Patriots' AFC Championship victory alongside the team's cheerleaders.

NOT SURE IF ILL-ADVISED JOKE OR JUST SLOPPY MARKETING

-- Wilson Football, provider of the NFL's official game balls, alluding to Deflategate as they begin their marketing run-up to Super Bowl LI.

MELTS UNDER PRESSURE

-- Peanut Butter & Chocolate University quarterback prospect Cuppy, reportedly the current favorite of the Cleveland Browns picking at No. 1 overall, undergoing his weigh-in at the Senior Bowl.

Posted by: Rob Eves on 27 Jan 2017

17 comments, Last at 30 Jan 2017, 4:37pm by OldFox

Comments

1
by Not Jimmy :: Fri, 01/27/2017 - 2:33pm

"I'm Drunk, I'm Stupid, I'm a Pats Fan" tee shirts will be available to order soon...

- Anything is possible when you have no idea what you are talking about.

2
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Fri, 01/27/2017 - 2:59pm

FWIW the God/Chargers quote seems to be misunderstood.

It's not condemning them to hell or lack of forgiveness - the sign is saying "God won't abandon you ... unlike the Chargers".

3
by Rob Eves :: Fri, 01/27/2017 - 3:13pm

I was just inferring that bit

4
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Fri, 01/27/2017 - 3:31pm

Fair enough - can be difficult to know what is humour and what isn't. Didn't bother to explain the Gronk 69 joke a few months ago because I thought it was obvious and the title was being rhetorical.

Anyway nice column as always. You do well to come up with witty captions for all of them. I doubt I could manage it.

5
by Rob Eves :: Fri, 01/27/2017 - 3:43pm

Cheers, that's probably just my sense of humour. Thanks for the kind words, I'm sure anyone who reads this site regularly could manage it though.

6
by LionInAZ :: Sat, 01/28/2017 - 12:25am

Re: stadium screens. I think it's pretty sad that fans have to have giant TV screens at sports arenas to see what's going on.

7
by PatsFan :: Sat, 01/28/2017 - 10:59am

Ironically, it's the fans in the so-called "really good" seats that need the jumbotron the most.

When I've been up in the nosebleed seats I've never needed the jumbotron. But the one time I was in the 2nd row I had to watch most of the game on jumbotron because once the LOS was more than about 15yd from where I was it was impossible to tell what was happening or see anything.

8
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Sat, 01/28/2017 - 11:30am

I remember sitting in Candlestick 2nd row seats unable to see past the backs of Montana, Rice and Lott. Couldn't see much happening on the field at all

9
by dbostedo :: Sat, 01/28/2017 - 12:32pm

It's also really tough to watch from low down behind the end zones unless the play is close to your end. You can watch a running back make 3 guys miss at midfield, and you can't tell if he made it 3 yards forward or 15 yards forward.

10
by Led :: Sat, 01/28/2017 - 6:42pm

Even if you're not a fan of Seattle or New England, you've got to like the Bennett brothers. They are quality entertainment.

11
by Karma Coma :: Sun, 01/29/2017 - 10:40pm

Especially Michael! Man, nothing is more entertaining than blowing up linemen on kneel-down plays. Picking fights because you can't accept your season is over, what a hilarious dude.

12
by Athelas :: Sun, 01/29/2017 - 11:33pm

Or belittling cancer survivors! Or telling a reporter his dick is small! Great guy.

13
by OldFox :: Mon, 01/30/2017 - 1:27pm

Love the quote about the Browns' plans to draft Cuppy, the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup mascot. Hey, it would be an improvement over their real first-round draft choices. Justin Gilbert ... Johnny Manziel ... Trent Richardson ... Brandon Weeden ... pretty much all of them except Joe Thomas.

I've been a diehard Browns fan my whole life but this year it became clear to me that (a) the love affair has pretty much ended, and (b) the Browns' organization is hopeless. I didn't even watch many of the games this year, and when they actually won a game, on a Saturday late in the season against San Diego, I found out about it when somebody sent me a congratulatory text while I was working out --- I'd lost interest in them so much that I'd forgotten that they were playing a Saturday game. They've got to have the worst-run operation in pro sports, and really, until they get a new owner and/or get incredibly lucky by picking up a Hall of Fame-quality QB by accident (a la Tom Brady, Kurt Warner, Johnny Unitas), they aren't going to be even remotely competitive. That's just reality. They're about 20 players away from being a 4-win team. There's really not much point in following them any more. So I've pretty much stopped doing it. Any other once-proud Browns fans feeling the same way?

14
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Mon, 01/30/2017 - 2:48pm

That's pretty much how I felt about the Raiders circa 2009. Realised they were going to be shit until Al died but even then Reggie ripped it apart, Dennis Allen was shit and I just lost interest after 2014. Despite the resurgence, I've not been interested this season.

Are you not super-excited about Hue Jackson?

15
by OldFox :: Mon, 01/30/2017 - 2:51pm

Excited about Hue Jackson? You mean the so-called QB guru who demanded that the team draft Cody Kessler instead of Dak Prescott? Uh, no, not particularly excited.

16
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Mon, 01/30/2017 - 3:30pm

I wasn't convinced by him when he coached the Raiders in 2011.

The one Cleveland game I saw this year didn't fill me with hope for them. Was it 12-men on defense first play of the game needing a timeout to be called. And then two players colliding on the punt return. Just seems to me like Jackson likes doing exotic razzle-dazzle stuff but isn't interested in coaching the basics.

But people like to talk him up and make excuses about how poor the roster is in Cleveland. So I guess all Browns should be super-excited ...

17
by OldFox :: Mon, 01/30/2017 - 4:37pm

No, Hue didn't show anything this year. (Kind of obvious, considering the team's 1-15 record.) Ordinarily I'd say a performance like that would get a coach fired, but Haslam has taken a lot of heat (and deservedly so) over his penchant for firing everybody but the ballboys every year, so now he's determined to show that he can be patient. I'm sure it's driving him nuts, though, being forced to stick with a 1-15 coach.

We'll see if Hue can survive another bad year. And it's a given that, for the Browns, 2017 is going to be another bad year.

Maybe drafting Cuppy with that #1 pick will help ...