Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

27 Oct 2017

The Week In Quotes: October 27, 2017

by Cale Clinton

SING LIKE NO ONE IS LISTENING! DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS WATCHING! PLAY LIKE YOU'RE BUTT-ASS NAKED!

"Everybody play naked. Butt naked. Everybody play butt-ass naked!"

-- Washington Redskins defensive line coach Jim Tomsula dropped this gem while mic'd up talking to his players this past Monday against the Philadelphia Eagles. (NFL Network, as captured by Twitter user Dov Kleiman)

ADDRESSING THE ELEPHANT IN THE STADIUM

"The 49ers sent out a questionnaire to fans asking 'In terms of game day experience, how important is it that your team wins?'"

-- San Francisco Chronicle columnist Ann Killion shed some light on how the 49ers are attempting to gauge the fans' emotional reaction to the team's 0-7 start. (Ann Killion, Twitter)

PUT YOUR TIN FOIL HATS ON, BECAUSE IT'S TIME FOR … NEW ENGLAND CHEATING CONSPIRACIES!

"It didn't affect me, but it's crazy though, like, they score and they shoot fireworks off and then it sits high, kind of in the stadium. So it's kind of hard, like, if you do get behind, like how can you throw deep balls and things like that, because it's foggy?"

-- Atlanta Falcons wide receiver Julio Jones believes that all the Foxboro fog during Sunday Night Football was from the Patriots' post-touchdown fireworks. Apparently that was all it took to shroud Gillette Stadium in fog during the second half of the game. (CBS Boston)

"I have 328 fog machines available for sale, used only once, don't need anymore. Tested each and every one of them, they all did their job. You're gonna want to keep these things away from anything that flies. No vultures, Falcons, Eagles or anything. Bad things happen. Please only call, I don't snapface or instachat."

-- An anonymous Craigslist ad in the Boston area with this description was posted just hours after the Patriots' 23-7 victory over the Falcons. Seems like just a coincidence, though. (Craigslist)

A LOOK BEHIND THE STEEL CURTAIN

MARTAVIS, MAKING FRIENDS IN THE LOCKER ROOM

"JuJu [Smith-Schuster]'s better"

-- Instagram user @team.votto commented this under a post by Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Martavis Bryant. This is in reference to the emergence of rookie wide out JuJu Smith-Schuster as a prominent target for the Steelers. Schuster's success and a lack of usage has led to Bryant wanting out of Pittsburgh

"@team.votto juju is no where near better than me fool all they need to do is give me what I want and y'all can have juju and whoever else"

-- Martavis Bryant's response to @team.votto.

"@juju is the future and got great talent and is going to be one of the best to play this game I want him to get his I just want mines period point blank ain't nobody did nothing to get me back I worked my ass off to get myself back with no help and little support period in due time the process will show"

-- Martavis Bryant deleted the previous comment and replaced it with this one. (Deadspin)

THE ROOKIE, THE BIKE, AND THE PORN STAR

"You are my new favorite follow on twitter @TeamJuJu #TeamFindJujusBike"

-- Adult film actress and notorious DM-exposer Mia Khalifa tweeted this at Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster after the rookie's bicycle was stolen. (It has since been found.) (Mia Khalifa, Twitter)

"Oh hell nah, I'm not fallin for this lol. I'm young not stupid."

-- JuJu's response to Khalifa's tweet. (Juju Smith-Schuster, Twitter)

I WONDER IF THE JETS INSPIRED SOME OF HIS WRITING

"Life for a Jets fan is an unending torment."

-- Game of Thrones author and die-hard New York Jets fan George R.R. Martin lets us all know what true pain and suffering is. (George R.R. Martin, Twitter)

LeBRON WOULD HAVE LEFT FOR THE DOLPHINS LONG BEFORE 1-22

"I ain't been 1-22 in nothing. Nothing."

-- Cleveland Cavaliers power forward LeBron James can't relate to the woes of his hometown football team, the Cleveland Browns.
(Tom Withers of the Associated Press, Twitter)

NOT VERY BIG FANS OF ADVERSITY

"I think our team right now doesn't overcome bad things very well."

-- Arizona Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians aptly summarizes his team's season with one concise quote. (Josh Weinfuss, ESPN)

A MAN WHO KNOWS WHEN TO QUIT

"Hell no."

-- Seattle Seahawks defensive lineman Michael Bennett's response when asked if he'll try to play to the age of his new teammate, 37-year-old Dwight Freeney. Bennett turns 32 in November. (Bob Condotta, Seattle Times, via Twitter)

THIS WEEK IN SOCIAL MEDIA

POSSIBLY THE FIRST TIME THIS HAS BEEN CHANTED BY A WORTHY ADVERSARY

-- Penn State fans broke out into "We want 'Bama" chants following the team's big win over Michigan this past Saturday.

KANYE WEST CAJUN REMIX

Coach O singing Kanye is a beautiful sight #GeauxTigers

A post shared by Pardon My Take (@pardonmytake) on

-- Louisiana State head coach Ed Orgeron sings along to Kanye West's "Power" in the locker room.

THEIR OPPONENT MIGHT HAVE TO ADJUST THIS WEEK'S SCOUTING REPORT

Just keep workin it will happen no matter what!!!!Yes lawd!!!!

A post shared by Shawn Lynch (@beastmode) on

-- Oakland Raiders running back Marshawn Lynch practiced with Oakland Technical High School team this week during his one-game suspension. Lynch participated in football, basketball, track, and wrestling at Oakland Tech in the early part of this century.

YOU'D THINK THE EAGLES SIGNING A CHILD TO THEIR ROSTER WOULD DRAW BIGGER HEADLINES

-- Philadelphia Eagles defensive end Chris Long puts one of his teammate's dinners -- consisting of chicken fingers, French fries, and a cookie -- on blast.

"@JOEL9ONE Bro you think this body just happens??"

-- Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackle Beau Allen stepping forward to defend himself. (Beau Allen, Twitter)

SOME GOOD WHOLESOME FUN

-- The Pittsburgh Steelers with the early favorite for Celebration of the Year.

THIS COSTUME TERRIFIES QUARTERBACKS

What y’all think? Did i nail it? #besthalloweencostume @vonmiller

A post shared by Brandon Marshall (@bmarshh54) on

-- Denver Broncos linebacker Brandon Marshall decides to dress up as teammate and fashion "icon" Von Miller for Halloween.

DID HE CALL BANK? OR BANK-BANK-BANK?

-- South Alabama Jaguars kicker Gavin Patterson with the most entertaining field goal of the week in a 21-13 loss to Georgia State on Thursday night. Gavin, if you're reading this, that's a line drive down the middle in the record books.

... WUT?

-- Seattle Seahawks tight ends -- along with running back Eddie Lacy and wide receiver Tanner McEvoy, who is wearing a Macklemore jersey for some reason -- doing ... something in practice.

Posted by: Cale Clinton on 27 Oct 2017

7 comments, Last at 29 Oct 2017, 9:34pm by jtr

Comments

1
by NJBammer :: Fri, 10/27/2017 - 12:57pm

If Paul Depodesta had been the GM for the Cavaliers in 2003 they'd have traded away the LeBron pick for additional draft picks because he didn't have any college tape for his stats guys to evaluate...

2
by JMM :: Fri, 10/27/2017 - 3:00pm

In the week prior, Bell got 15 yards for punching the goal post and using it as a prop.

This time, he used it as a prop, without touching it, and did not receive 15 yards.

Goal post abuse?

3
by Scott P. :: Fri, 10/27/2017 - 3:38pm

"@juju is the future and got great talent and is going to be one of the best to play this game I want him to get his I just want mines period point blank ain't nobody did nothing to get me back I worked my ass off to get myself back with no help and little support period in due time the process will show"

Does Bryant send his comments to Instagram via telegraph?

4
by xydux :: Sat, 10/28/2017 - 1:22am

No. If he were, he'd be using "stop" instead of "period."

Also he doesn't wear hipster glasses, so there's that.

5
by dbostedo :: Sat, 10/28/2017 - 11:26am

My question is, why was Antonio Brown left out of the hide-n-seek game?

6
by LionInAZ :: Sat, 10/28/2017 - 7:20pm

Want to keep my interest when the team is losing? Lower prices on beer and food by 10% for every opponent TD. Raise it back 10% for every home team score.

7
by jtr :: Sun, 10/29/2017 - 9:34pm

You should make a point of loading up your fantasy team with Packers, Vikings, and Bears each year, so even when you lose you win.