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» Seventh Day Adventure: Week 13

The biggest game this week is the Iron Bowl, where the playoff hopes of Alabama, Auburn, and Georgia hang in the balance.

15 Sep 2017

The Week In Quotes: September 15, 2017

Compiled by Cale Clinton

SOME EGG ON NORTH CAROLINA'S FACE

"He's not going to beat us. We are just going to stop anything he tries to do. He is not going to be able to run on us. We have everything solidified with that. We are gonna cover downfield."

-- North Carolina inside linebacker Andre Smith saying that Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson was not going to be able to get through the Tar Heels defense. Jackson would go on to put up a Madden-esque stat line of 25-of-39 for 393 yards and three touchdowns through the air and 132 yards and three touchdowns on the ground. (News & Observer)

PRIORITIES IN ORDER

"Gundy said he did not watch OU-Ohio State because he was 'turtle hunting and skeet shooting.'"

"Gundy now describing turtle hunting. 'You've got to kind of sneak up on them a little bit.'"

-- Mark Cooper of the Tulsa World, passing along what Oklahoma State head coach Mike Gundy was doing during the Oklahoma-Ohio State game last weekend. (Mark Cooper, Twitter)

STAYING HUMBLE YET SOMEHOW GLOATING AT THE SAME TIME

"That's what this was for us, guys. I know that last year for their win it was like the Super Bowl, but for us this was just like beating Akron."

-- Penn State Nittany Lions head coach James Franklin tones down the pomp and circumstance following the Lions' victory over in-state rival Pitt. (Big 10 Network, Twitter)

IT'S ALL ABOUT TIMING

"Steelers DE Stephon Tuitt signed $61M deal Saturday. Today team fears he tore his biceps. Monday is MRI. If torn, his season would be over."

-- ESPN's Adam Schefter highlights just how important timing is when it comes to new deals. (Adam Schefter, Twitter)

SHORT, SWEET, AND TO THE POINT

"None."

-- Los Angeles Chargers defensive end Melvin Ingram gives his honest opinion on how big a concern Miami Dolphins quarterback Jay Cutler is to the Chargers defense. (Jack Wang, Los Angeles Daily News, Twitter)

HE'S ALREADY STARTED TO PUT THE LOSS BEHIND HIM

"I mean we got our asses kicked. Credit to the 49ers and Coach McVay."

-- Indianapolis Colts coach Chuck Pagano fails to recall who his team just played mere minutes after losing to them (hint: it was the Los Angeles Rams). (Indy Star)

ANNUAL REMINDER THAT J.J. WATT IS NOT HUMAN

"In the second quarter, some time. Just busted the bone through the skin. Nothing bad. Just tape it up."

-- Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt nonchalantly recounts his fingerbone popping through his skin. (USA Today)

I FEEL SO BAD FOR THE WALL THAT DART BOARD HANGS ON

"You forget how bad that sucks. I played darts by myself yesterday for an hour and a half."

-- Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles lost power during the hurricane that hit Florida this past weekend and was forced to find some non-electronic form of entertainment. (Jim Wyatt, Titans Online, Twitter)

SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL GETS … SEXUAL?

"[Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott] told us the other day that he weighed 240 [pounds]. And I knew kinda what the weight was, and he said 'I'm 240, and about 220 of it are in my legs.' And you could see it in a pair of shorts, this is a really thickly built guy, and when you lean into him, he doesn't always go down."

-- NBC Sunday Night Football commentator Cris Collinsworth gets down and dirty and talks about just how thick Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott's legs are. (NBC Sports via Sports GIFs & Videos)

"Dak is oddly already dripping wet. Did nice job of NOT throwing 1st two. Looked like BriceButler should've caught his ball."

-- FS1 personality Skip Bayless also gets into "That's What She Said" territory. (Skip Bayless, Twitter)

GRONK THE METEOROLOGIST

"Been following up on Hurricane Irma a lot the past few days. Did some research on hurricanes and been learning a lot bout Mother Nature."

-- New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski was hitting the books and learning about Hurricane Irma this past week as it hit Florida and the Caribbean. (Rob Gronkowski, Twitter)

JUST HOW EVERYONE IMAGINES IT

"I swear to God, I felt like I lived a lifetime in my head when the ball was in the air. I'm not even kidding, I think I blacked out for like a part of it. And then I caught it, and I felt like it was like autopilot. I was present in the moment, but honestly I just remembered going in the end zone after I stiff-armed somebody and seeing all of my teammates in the end zone. I saw it on replay, and it sunk in, and I was like 'Oh this is pretty cool.'"

-- Atlanta Falcons tight end Austin Hooper gives a vivid recap of what was going on in his head after scoring an 88-yard touchdown against the Chicago Bears. (Rich Campbell, Chicago Tribune)

SO MUCH FOR HIS REVENGE TOUR

"I didn't sign up for nine snaps, though. But unfortunately, that's the way the game played out."

-- New Orleans Saints running back Adrian Peterson vents his frustrations to the press after his lack of usage against the Minnesota Vikings in Peterson's debut with the Saints. Peterson's frustrations were evident during Monday Night Football as ESPN cameras caught this sideline footage of Peterson snarling at head coach Sean Payton. (USA Today)

EVEN MORE THAN CONNOR SHAW?

"Ben Roethlisberger is NOW the winningest Quarterback in Cleveland Browns stadium history (since 1999)...More wins than any Browns QB"

-- Bob Pompeani of KDKA in Pittsburgh noting the impressive feat of Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who became the winningest quarterback in the history of Cleveland's FirstEnergy Stadium since it opened 1999. Roethlisberger is now 11-2 for his career against the Browns while in his "home away from home." (Bob Pompeani, Twitter)

ULTIMATE FOOTBALL GUY

"Before road games Coach O says LSU puts speakers on John Deere tractors behind his offense playing opponents fight songs to simulate crowds."

-- LSU head coach Ed Orgeron has a unique way of helping his offense deal with crowd noise while on the road. (Brandon Saho, WBRZ, Twitter)


THE WEEK IN SOCIAL MEDIA

PUNTER-ON-PUNTER ACTION

-- Former Indianapolis Colts punter Pat McAfee has found his post-NFL calling in analyzing punts from his home TV. Here, he breaks down a punt by Los Angeles Rams punter Johnny Hekker during a Week 1 game against McAfee's former team. Think of it as a breakdown of all the parts of the game that Red Zone usually skips over.

UNLIKE PERCY HARVIN, THIS GUY SCORED IN BUFFALO

-- Two diehard Buffalo Bills fans got married at a tailgate prior to the Bills' home opener. The honeymoon got off to a nice start as the Bills beat the New York Jets 21-12.

HERE'S ONE WAY TO EARN SOME EXTRA TARGETS

-- Green Bay Packers tight end Martellus Bennett stands up for his quarterback

TONY ROMO: FULL-TIME COMMENTATOR, PART-TIME MEDIUM

-- Former Dallas Cowboys quarterback and rookie NFL commentator Tony Romo called his first ever game this Sunday when the Oakland Raiders flew down to take on the Tennessee Titans. Romo had a repeated habit of calling the two teams' plays prior to the snap.

SKIP BAYLESS'S FRUSTRATION BRINGS US ALL TOGETHER

-- Seattle Seahawks defensive lineman Nazair Jones trolls FS1 personality Skip Bayless after Bayless gets mad about Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers being picked off by "some D-lineman."

THE SWEETEST POSTGAME TRADITION

-- Baltimore Ravens safety Eric Weddle rekindles an old tradition of his with his team's victory over the Cincinnati Bengals. After every Ravens win, Weddle takes down a gallon of ice cream, complete with toppings and syrups.

SECURITY GUARDS ARE ATHLETES TOO

-- Cleveland Browns center Joe Thomas captures a rare sight prior to kickoff: FirstEnergy Stadium security guards practiced taking down fans who get too excited (read: inebriated) and choose to run onto the field.

SPORTS ARE MORE FUN WHEN STUFF LIKE THIS HAPPENS

YES WE DO, DARREN. YES WE DO

-- ESPN Reporter Darren Rovell takes a jab at the recent trend of props within college football as he takes aim at Georgia outside linebacker Davin Bellamy's spiked "Savage" shoulder pads. Bellamy earned the shoulder pads after forcing a sack-fumble on Notre Dame's final drive of the game. The fumble would help Georgia hold off the Fighting Irish 20-19.

YOU KNOW A CROWD IS LOUD WHEN THEY DROWN OUT THE COMMENTATORS

-- Clemson's home crowd sends the Auburn Tigers off the field to the tune of "Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye" as the clock expires.

ALSO, PROPS TO DABO. WHAT A STAND-UP GUY

-- Clemson head coach Dabo Swinney greets special guest and Vestavia Hills High School star Jake Pratt prior to the game.

WIN BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY

-- College football players got desperate in trying to stave off big plays this weekend. One UCLA defensive lineman threw his towel in an attempt to knock down a pass, while someone on the Charlotte sideline attempted to stop a Kansas State fumble recovery with a squirt from his water bottle.

SANFORD STADIUM-NORTH

-- Georgia fans showed up in massive numbers at Wrigley Field in Chicago and then in South Bend the next day for the Bulldogs' game against Notre Dame.

IT JUST KEEPS ROLLING … AND ROLLING … AND ROLLING

All hell breaks loose during the Louisiana Tech-Mississippi State game as Louisiana Tech loses the ball near one goal line and ends up near the other by the end of it.

JUST GO WITH YOUR GUT ON THIRD-AND-93

"Jeff Fisher's 3rd-and-93 play is a direct snap to Tavon Austin."

"Tom Coughlin's 3rd-and-93 play is cutting down all the sails and towing the boat into the Bermuda Triangle."

"Chip Kelly's 3rd-and-93 play is having DeMarco Murray run out of bounds on a geometrically perfect horizontal plane."

"Mike McCarthy's 3rd-and-93 play is a converted 93-yard Hail Mary to Jeff Janis then giving Janis two offensive snaps the following preseason"

"Mike Smith's 3rd-and-93 play is a spike because he thought it was only 2nd-and-67."

"Charlie Weis' 3rd-and-93 play is signing an eight-year, $48 million extension."

"Lane Kiffin's 3rd-and-93 play is firing his dad."

"Joe Philbin's 3rd-and-93 play is re-signing Daniel Thomas."

-- Rotoworld writer Pat Daugherty broke down what some big-time coaches would do if they went with their gut on third-and-93. Pat Daugherty, Twitter)

TARGETING IS STILL THE MOST CONFUSING THING ABOUT COLLEGE FOOTBALL

-- Two highlights from Week 2 in college football illustrating once again that no one understands what is and is not a targeting penalty.

'LIFE … FINDS A WAY'

-- A bizarre sight to behold as the Michigan marching band unveiled a Jurassic Park-themed performance, complete with inflatable dinosaur costumes.

GIVING CANCER THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW IS SOMETHING WE CAN ALL ROOT FOR

-- The University of Oregon held their "Stomp Out Cancer" game this past weekend. Doernbecher Children's Hospital cancer patients teamed up with Nike to design the team's uniforms for the weekend.

THIS WEEK IN 'FANTASY FOOTBALL HINDSIGHT'

Tag a friend that didn't start Kareem Hunt.

A post shared by espn (@espn) on

-- Kansas City Chiefs running back Kareem Hunt has a message for all the fantasy owners who left Hunt on the bench against the New England Patriots in Week 1. Hunt had 148 rushing yards, 98 receiving yards, and three total touchdowns in his rookie debut after fumbling on his first run of the game.

Posted by: Cale Clinton on 15 Sep 2017

8 comments, Last at 19 Sep 2017, 7:41am by bigpoppapump

Comments

1
by MilkmanDanimal :: Fri, 09/15/2017 - 12:32pm

I have to say when I usually hear about a Bills fan scoring, it's the kind of Deadspin post that's inherently NSFW.

2
by Tim R :: Fri, 09/15/2017 - 1:24pm

My biggest problem with this years All or Nothing was that it wasn't all about Hekker, he's awesome and there really wasn't a lot else interesting about last years Rams.

What was Romo like the rest of the game? From the bites he sounds a lot better than most other commentators.

3
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Fri, 09/15/2017 - 1:26pm

I would absolutely watch Pat McAfee break down special teams plays.

Also -- Joe Thomas' video and Tony Romo's commentary were actually really useful.

4
by Cale Clinton :: Fri, 09/15/2017 - 2:15pm

Loved Romo's commentary when it came to stuff like defense or audibles. Just calling "Marshawn runs to the left here" for the fifth time is when it got a little tedious for me.

6
by Jerry :: Sat, 09/16/2017 - 4:26am

When he started broadcasting, Phil Simms was also pretty good at calling plays.

And for those of us who are old enough, Hank Stram did radio for Monday Night Football in the '80s, and he was good at identifying plays in advance. (Wikipedia has him on those MNF broadcasts from 1978-95, and also says "Stram's key broadcasting trademark was his habit of predicting the next play before it happened.")

7
by Vincent Verhei :: Sat, 09/16/2017 - 5:45pm

Amen to Stram. He was outstanding.

5
by Steve in WI :: Fri, 09/15/2017 - 2:38pm

"I FEEL SO BAD FOR THE WALL THAT DART BOARD HANGS ON"

Okay, that one made me laugh out loud at my desk.

8
by bigpoppapump :: Tue, 09/19/2017 - 7:41am

"What did you see there Tony?"

"I saw about 14 years in the NFL"