Washington's New Name: Commanders
NFL Super Bowl - Washington announced its new name this morning, "not the best kept secret in Washington" according to owner Daniel Snyder. They are now the Washington Commanders. What do we all think? I'm sure we all have something we preferred. I still liked the idea of "Washington Pigskins." Maybe this is the best name they could get the trademark and URL rights for. There are new uniforms too, and a slightly different "W" logo. It's a military connection, but now we can call them the Washington Commies.
What bothers me most is the new crest, with the years that Washington won the championship, because it lists the years of the Super Bowls (1983, 1988, 1992) instead of the years of the seasons (1982, 1987, 1991). Who refers to Washington as the champions of 1992? That's just weird.
1 This is the most focus-group…
This is the most focus-group, bland, cream-of-wheat-hold-the-salt name possible. Should have just gone the whole way and pick the Generals instead.
24 It's still better than what…
It's still better than what the Indians came up with.
39 At least "Guardians" ties…
At least "Guardians" ties back to Cleveland history to some extent. This name change doesn't even have that.
2 wtf
The name is kind of lame. If you want the military theme, Admirals would have been better (can't use Generals for obvious reasons). Commander is like 2nd in command of a naval vessel, right? I guess appropriate, because it looks like 2nd in the NFCE would be the most reasonable goal the next few years.
And the uniforms. The standard ones are okay except the number font. The alternative black unis....who came up with the W on the front helmet? That looks really stupid
I still think RaiderJoe's idea for "Washington Squirrels" is far superior to this.
7 If you want the military theme, Admirals would have been better
Was going to make the same comment—and mention the Squirrels too!
Wasn't crazy about Admirals when that supposedly leaked, but much better than Commanders. Blah.
I think though that Tanier's old Red Clouds suggestion is the best I've heard.
8 I'd been pulling for the…
I'd been pulling for the Hogs or the Red Hogs. It would be a name that actually has something to do with the team it's naming.
9 Way better than Commanders!…
Way better than Commanders! If going that route, I liked playing off the red and going with Blood Hogs, but probably too violent for NFL, ironically enough, lol.
44 It's sort of hilarious that …
It's sort of hilarious that "vanilla" is used as a synonym for "boring."
Vanilla is the only agriculturally-important orchid and resisted commercialization for decades because it turned out pollination depended on a specific bee and it's mostly done by hand today. Wars were fought over it. Humans are sufficiently privileged that this has become our proxy for boring.
48 Good vanilla is a glorious…
Good vanilla is a glorious thing. Unlike this name and these unis.
65 No kidding. It has to be…
No kidding. It has to be sailed around the world from some islands in the south Indian Ocean on the opposite side of the planet, and it's boring?
P.S. Here's the best vanilla recipe I've ever had. Got it in Madagascar:
Do you know how to make coconut milk? Shred the coconut meat, pour water through it, voila, coconut milk.
Now, instead of pouring water through it, pour rum.
Then pluck some vanilla beans from the tree behind your house and pop them in a bottle with your rum coconut.
Let it sit.
Pop that sucker open when you're ready to have the best drink of your life.
67 It's actually native to…
It's actually native to Mexico. The orchids were grown around the Indian ocean by around 1819, but they couldn't get them to grow pods until the 1840s, when it was realized they needed to do it manually. They hadn't imported the bee, too.
68 Real vanilla, yes...
... but over 99% of "vanilla" that people consume in foods nowadays is actually an artificial imitation.
So much so, that when given real vanilla, it doesn't taste "right" to many. (I looked for a relevant link about the taste test but couldn't find anything, so here instead is a link to an article about the rarity of real vanilla: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-problem-with-vanilla/ )
72 Not really
While a commander may sometimes be a 2iC, they are generally commanders of ships, just not capital (major) ones. For example, the commander (i.e. the captain) of a SSBN would be a captain, while the commander of a smaller SSN would be a commander.
77 Commander of a squadron of…
Commander of a squadron of aircraft would also be fairly common. Whether the USN has more ships or aviation squadrons commanded by Commanders I'm not sure -probably in the neighbourhood of 200 of each I should think.
3 Bland is fine. Team can…
Bland is fine. Team can move forward now. Five years from now no one will care. Sports teams build their brand through the quality of the product they put on the field, as long as they don't have an owner letting them do stupid things off the field to ruin their brand.
4 The years
Yeah the years thing is baffling
Is there a banner in FedEx Field calling Washington the 1991 or 1992 champs?
How the NFL allowed them to go with a crest with the numbering against convention is beyond me.
Especially since 1983 in common parlance is the year a heavily favored 14-2 Washington lost the Super Bowl badly.
5 Terrible name, terrible…
Terrible name, terrible uniforms. Even WFT was better than this.
6 They literally did the…
They literally did the create a team in Madden and just ran with it.
10 Squirrels would ahev been a better choice
the white uniforms are so weird ocmpared to burgundy ones and the blackj ones. even the other two ar enot similar. three different people designed unis it looks like and tema could not decide on one template so wnet with all three.
11 Commander is a Navy rank, O…
Commander is a Navy rank, O-5. It’s equivalent to an Army or Air Force Lt Col.
Questions I immediately have:
- Why a Navy specific rank? Why not a more commonly understood Army rank?
-Why an O-5? Why not a flag rank, like Admoial, or at least an O-6 (Captain)? Washington Captains would have been better.
-What was wrong with just Football Team? It had really grown on me. It’s lack of character gave it character!
36 - Why a Navy specific rank? …
- Why a Navy specific rank?
Because the Army and Air Force don't have sinking ships.
76 My first assumption was a…
My first assumption was a reference to Commander In Chief.
13 I kind of like it
When I heard about it I didn’t associate “Commander” with a Naval rank, I associated it with the Commander-in-Chief, which is a very Washingtonian concept.
I did like Football Team but that must be because I’ve started following soccer.
22 "Washington CINCs" would…
"Washington CINCs" would have been D.C. at its bureaucratic acronymiest best, meaning perfectly awful.
56 That would work in one sense
It refers to many Football Outsider writers and commentators vis a vis the team.
71 Captians would have been…
Captians would have been better then since it's valid in all services.
14 No newspaper headline editor...
...will burn precious headline space with a three-syllable team name. Timerwolves, for ex? They're the T-wolves or simply 'wolves. The (former) Cleveland Indians? They were "the tribe". Etc etc etc. Welcome your new Washington football team, "The Commies"!
18 Ok I'm actually in favor of…
Ok I'm actually in favor of this now, because calling am NFL team (in Washington DC no less!) the Commies is hilarious.
19 Oh no, they have to go with…
Oh no, they have to go with the ’Ders?
27 Presumably some day…
Presumably some day Washington fans will skew younger than the demographic that still reads newspapers. Until then, newspapers will probably still just call them the "Hogs".
Nobody needs to shorten their name on digital media. The team logo takes up less space than anything else. And if anyone ever does need to display a shortened name for them in text form, the can just label them "WC". Which I like just as much as the Commies. :-)
15 They had two years and this…
They had two years and this is what they came up with...
63 The old name was…
The old name was controversial for literally decades and yet they never thought that it might be wise to have a backup name ready to go just in case they were ever forced to change...hence the Football Team. So in that sense they had much longer than two years. Honestly I'm just glad this one is not a racial slur!
16 Plus...
...why bother making the announcement on Groundhog Day without going full ham and revealing that the franchise's new name is "The Washington Hogs?"
At least the Snyder front office "brain" trust can rescue the situation with a new team slogan: "Six more years of stupid, Rah Rah Rah!"
49 ...they also didn't hire…
...they also didn't hire Bill Murray to make the announcement, which strikes me as a critical failing.
17 Team video
Apt indictment of Snyder era: the announcement video starts with 1.5 minutes of highlights of the team’s (legitimately) glorious past. 100% of highlights are from the pre-Snyder era! One playoff win in 22 years of ownership (plus 1 win in his very first year before he destroyed everything).
20 I welcome our new Washington…
I welcome our new Washington Generals. Wait, I mean Washington Commodes. Wait, I mean Washington Commies. Wait, I mean Washington Come-And-Getits.
I'd put good money on Snyder settling for the Commanders after a trademark squatter scooped up all the good ones a while back; all the Red-Whatevers and Hog-related names and all that. So because of the absolute lack of planning from Washington for what was always a possibility and probably an inevitability, we get the Commanders. Wheee.
And the black uniforms are particularly terrible.
62 The Washington Post piece on…
The Washington Post piece on the name change says exactly this, that they were assiduously avoiding any names that anyone already had rights to, including Red Wolves. They don't spell out each one, but that certainly applies to some of the other names bandied about, like the Generals (the Harlem Globetrotters' opponent, and the USFL team of a certain former President) and the Admirals (a minor league hockey team, the Milwaukee Admirals).
The thing is, and speaking of Milwaukee: there is a professional indoor soccer team called the Milwaukee Wave (I believe the longest-continually-running pro soccer team in the USA. Fun fact!). A few months ago it was announced that San Diego would have a new professional women's soccer team: the San Diego Wave. I am 100% certain that if a women's soccer team can work out whatever deals and legalities it takes to use an already "taken" nickname, a damn NFL team can too. Snyder is just ridiculously, embarrassingly cheap.
21 As a lapsed Washington fan,…
As a lapsed Washington fan, let me just say Commanders is a terrible name, but Commies is hilarious.
23 Tell me the Cowboys season…
Tell me the Cowboys season ticket holders won't enjoy screaming, for 3 hours, once a season "YOU SUCK, YA' GODDAMNED COMMIES!!!!"
29 I was thinking that once…
I was thinking that once everything hit the fan with the Gruden lawsuit, we could call them the Remainders, but this, this puts a smile on my face.
25 Weak
I was all for them absorbing the Washington SENATORS lone 1-2 1921 season before their own introduction in 1932 as the Boston Braves.
But I knew they wouldn't. But since we're talking about old franchises now, these are some that could resurrected if the league expands (and I look for ones that are in states that don't have a team, sorry, NY, Cali, Ohio and Texas don't need another team):
- St. Louis(!) Gunners or All Stars (separate franchises)
- Providence Steamrollers
- Louisville Colonels (formerly Brecks; not sure if that's racist or not but isnt it also a flower?)
- Hartford Blues
26 Brecks is a shortening of…
Brecks is a shortening of Breckenridges, and the club was named after former vice president (and Confederate general and Secretary of War) John C. Breckenridge which is....certainly a choice, at the very least.
They could continue the theme of naming their team for historically insignificant figures by calling themselves the Barkleys!
28 Steam Roller
They weren't the Providence Steam Rollers. Even better, it was singular. They were just the Providence Steam Roller!
31 They were actually both, as…
They were actually both, as the NFL teams of the day didn't have strict brand enforcement officers to keep all this straight. But the singular is so much better than the plural, it's not even funny.
42 Either one can work
And force New England to change to the Foxborough or Massachusetts Patriots
73 When NE moved from being an…
When NE moved from being an itinerant tenant of Fenway Park and Nickerson Field down to Foxborough the new name was originally going to be the Bay State Patriots until someone pointed out the obvious abbreviation to the Sullivans.
40 I see why they changed it
Or disbanded. The 0-4 Colonels it is!
34 The Brecks might be the one…
The Brecks might be the one professional franchise even worse than the Cleveland Spiders.
30 Other thing about calling…
Other thing about calling them Commies... they're always going to be on a five year plan that leads nowhere.
32 Also, I think anytime a WFT…
Also, I think anytime a WFT player is up for the Hall, I'm going to exclaim in my best Angela Lansbury voice, "You mean THAT COMMUNIST!"
52 "Dan Snyder is the kindest,…
"Dan Snyder is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."
33 Fans of division rivals…
Fans of division rivals should sing the Soviet Anthem during games. Just because they can.
35 Shouldn't you sing The…
Shouldn't you sing The International?
37 That would be more…
That would be more politically correct, and is a better song... but to Giants, Eagles and Cowboys fans, WTF is the enemy in a way Cuba and Nicaragua never were.
45 If they ever get an…
If they ever get an offensive line acclaimed enough to get their own nickname (in the same vein as the Hogs), that nickname should be the Red Guards.
51 Tell me you wouldn't want…
Tell me you wouldn't want Hard Knocks to feature the Commies, to see the inevitable Ron Rivera struggle session.
54 "Bombard the Headquarters...I mean the Team Facility!"
How do you know Dan Snyder doesn't do that already?
55 Poor Ron, conical hat atop…
Poor Ron, conical hat atop head, placard hung around his neck, that reads " Running game anti-revolutionary!", while the rest of the coaching staff is banished to the concession stands at People's Overnight Delivery Stadium, to clean the grease hoods, and Chairman Daniel swimming the Potomoc is photoshopped, so the season ticket holders know he remains strong, and then The Chairman orders the sod on the field ripped up, and the earthworms killed, because those disgusting hoarders are stealing nutrients that belong to the blades of grass!
It all ends after the last game goes to 0:00, and Chairman Dan declares it Year Zero, and orders all the fans in the stadium to march out to rural Maryland.
50 You just know that when next…
You just know that when next season inevitably goes tits-up, Snyder will hold a press conference in which he denounces the wreckers and accuses all his receivers of being hoarders.
Was going to make a kulak wisecrack, but that's too adjacent to Holocaust jokes, and I'm no Mel Brooks.
.
41 Name: Generic. Commanders…
Name: Generic. Commanders. It is not the worst, but they could have chosen so much better.
Uniforms: step back from thr WFT days and worse than the Redskins days, they are an inconsistent mess.
Logo: that W is not a logo. That is worse than what the Browns have. The crest is ok. Like the Ravens shield, I guess?
Ehm.
5.5 out of 10.
46 Name: Generic. Commanders…
Name: Generic. Commanders. It is not the worst, but they could have chosen so much better.
Uniforms: step back from thr WFT days and worse than the Redskins days, they are an inconsistent mess.
Logo: that W is not a logo. That is worse than what the Browns have. The crest is ok. Like the Ravens shield, I guess?
Ehm.
5.5 out of 10.
64 Underrated Handmaid's Tale…
Underrated Handmaid's Tale energy
74 I mean, they already had the…
I mean, they already had the color right.
75 In the Bugs Bunny sense?
That would work.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_NYFq7ZJg4c
79 Did Deshaun Watson own the…
Did Deshaun Watson own the rights to the Sex Offenders? Surely Snyder had a case for prior use.
Comments
79 comments, Last at 06 Feb 2022, 5:22pm