Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

19 Aug 2005

Rookie Prank Doesn't Make Saban Laugh

The first rule of Rookie Skits is - you do not talk about Rookie Skits. The second rule of Rookie Skits is - you DO NOT talk about Rookie Skits. Third rule of Rookie Skits, someone yells Stop!, goes limp, taps out, the skit is over. Fourth rule, only two guys to a skit. Fifth rule, one skit at a time, fellas. Sixth rule, no shirt, no shoes. Seventh rule, skits will go on as long as they have to. And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at Rookie Skits, you have to participate in a skit.

I think Nick Saban would agree that the first two rules are the most important. (bugmenot/free registration required)

Posted by: P. Ryan Wilson on 19 Aug 2005

13 comments, Last at 21 Aug 2005, 3:12pm by zlionsfan


by Nick Saban (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 5:05pm

Call me Psycho. Anybody calls be Francis and I'll kill ya.

by Sgt. Hulka (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 5:06pm

Lighten up, Francis

by Andy Reid (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 5:06pm

I hope Chris Chambers leaked the report. Then Saban will cut him and we can pick him up.

by SLB1 (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 5:24pm

Saban called the dancer part of a "family event." What's that mean? Was the stripper his wife? Daughter?

by B (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 5:36pm

I think it was his "nanny"

by Carl (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 6:19pm

"During another team gathering after practice, the mood was not so jovial. Saban sternly warned players that if he found out any of them had leaked the tale, he would cut them on the spot."

Three hours later Saban emerged from a meeting with Miami General Manager Randy Mueller. Carrying a "Salary Cap Cuts For Dummies" book under his left chickenwing, Saban read off a list of immediate terminations under a NFL bylaw rarely used, the "Double Secret Probation Rule."

Cut from the team were Junior Seau, Lamar Gordon and Olindo Mare.

When Mare protested that he didn't have anything to do with the stripper or the leak, Saban snapped back, "I can think of 1.3 million reasons you're ass ain't staying here a minute longer, leaker!"

by Carl (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 6:19pm

"Your" even.

by B (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 6:32pm

I'm sure the leaker can alway get a job in the white house.

by Theo (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 6:51pm

Maaaaaaaaaaan, that guy has a bad marriage.
Loosen up dude.
What if Jason Taylor leaked, or uhm...ehmmm the next best player on that team. haha

by miami dolphins (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 6:52pm

"His Name is Robert Paulsen"

by Johonny (not verified) :: Fri, 08/19/2005 - 7:08pm

B hits the home run of funny again:)

by bravehoptoad (not verified) :: Sat, 08/20/2005 - 3:24pm

Okay, it's official, I'm now rooting for Saban to crash and burn. The guy sounds like he'd be much more comfortable in a nice tidy Lenninist country than in the sloppy old U. S. of A., where people like their freedom of speech.

by zlionsfan (not verified) :: Sun, 08/21/2005 - 3:12pm

Well, this is probably the sort of thing that he could keep under wraps at his previous job.

So how long will it be before Mueller has to remind Saban that there isn't a line of "walk-ons" waiting to play for Miami?