Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

09 Jan 2006

Marcus Vick Arrested...Again

This is getting ridiculous. Marcus Vick was charged Monday with pulling a gun on three teenagers during an altercation in a restaurant parking lot. Personally, I never thought Roy Mexico was good enough to play in the NFL in the first place, but when you add in his off-field problems, I can't imagine anyone will draft him.

Posted by: Michael David Smith on 09 Jan 2006

70 comments, Last at 12 Jan 2006, 10:07am by Sid


by Walt Pohl (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 9:31pm

Didn't someone make a joke about this happening on the FO comment board a couple of days ago?

by Luz (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 9:36pm

can't imagine anyone would draft him?

don't the broncos have a 3rd round pick this year?

by Vash (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 9:46pm

Maurice Clarett Bonus +1

by Stereochemistry (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 10:08pm

When Keeping it Real goes wrong.

by David (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 10:09pm

Can he be drafted while in prison? Would anybody try?

by Pal (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 10:28pm

I think it is safe to say that Matt Millen will think drafting him will be a great idea.

by Shelley (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 10:41pm

Marcus, right now Sean Taylor is the last player you'd want to emulate.

by B (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 10:46pm

I thought he was New Mexico.

by Al Davis (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 11:03pm

"I can’t imagine anyone will draft him."

Wanna bet?

by kleph (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 11:11pm

you gotta give him credit though, he is a man of his word. this certainly qualifies as, "taking it to the next level, baby."

by LTA (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 11:14pm

I don't know, it looks like maybe Michael deserves to be a bit less closely linked with Marcus, given that Marcus has easily blown away Michael in the legal trouble department. How about a new name using the same theme of short first name and country for a last name? Tom Canada, anyone? Doug England? Bo France? ...?

by David A. (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 11:24pm
by Basilicus (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 11:29pm

Sweet. On that random name generator I'm Ian Taiwan. Oh wait, I just gave away my secret identity. Brett Favre is Maximillian Haiti. Perfect.

by Sara (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 11:48pm

Britney Japan, for me.

by Daniel (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 11:51pm

I'm Ricky Kiribati. Sweet.

by JerBearMaine (not verified) :: Mon, 01/09/2006 - 11:59pm

Drats! I'm Günther Virgin Islands. No one's gonna buy that alias!

by Adam (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:01am


by SJM (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:10am


Anyway, New Mexico will definitely get drafted. My guess is in the 6th round, but as Clarett showed us, it only takes one team to go higher.

by Sara (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:24am

Meet my sisters, Heidi Croatia and Agatha Taiwin! (How come we don't have the same last name? I think this might be what Lewis Grizzard called a "ho-ax"...)

by Sara (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:29am

Am I the only one who's just spent the last several minutes plugging in the names of everyone I can think of?

By the way, Jake Delhomme is "Jean Pierre Guyana."

by Catholic Samurai (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:33am

Adonis Panama... bow down before him!

by LTA (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:33am

The guy pulled a gun on a some kids at a McDonald's!?! What, were they making a pass at the underage girls Vick was after? Seriously, this guy is turning into more of a head case than Clarett. It will be a sad confirmation of where the NFL's priorities are if this guy goes high in the draft.

by CaffeineMan (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:45am

Can he be drafted while in prison? Would anybody try?

Lol. Like Rick Vaughn in Major League: "Well, I'm not really with them any more."

by The Load (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:59am

RE: 6

I think Millen will only draft him if he switches to WR for the pros...

by SJM (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 1:07am

...Which very well might happen.

by Vern (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 1:07am

Re: 9

Sorry Al, the Ravens plan to trade up to get him first.

by dd (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 1:13am

My name is Little John Lebanon, which rocks so hard I might actually start using it.

by Vash (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 1:25am

Alexander Costa Rica.

I should shorten it to A.C.Rica for extra disguise.

by Dean from Oz (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 2:06am

Well I'm Ron Bangledesh, but my wife scored two countries, Asia Kazakstan!

by Dean from Oz (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 2:07am

re:29 - well ok, a continent and a country...

by Phokus (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 2:12am

This guy will be drafted by the raiders for sure ^_^

by Dante Svalbard (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 2:33am

I dunno - I tend to think that there are just some things that pros (and potential pros) simply shouldn't do, and pulling a gun is definitely one of them. Any team that drafts baby Vick is going to regret their decision - perhaps even more quickly than Denver regretted drafting Clarett (defined as "Clarett time", tC, or the shortest possible amount of time between the drafting and dismissal of a supposed star.)

by charles (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 2:50am

I'm Pavel Canada.

by Show (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 3:04am

California Penal League

by Becephalus (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 3:30am

Sonny Congo sounds pretty good to me :)

The gf is Ginger Taiwan. This is great.

by Becephalus (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 3:32am

I am sorry but if you read the how can I help part, I think the outsiders are obligated to send that guy a copy of PFP. He sounds so sincere.

by Andrew (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 3:38am

Sam Bermuda.

That's one heck of a cool name.

And when I use Andy:

Little John Trinidad.

I like that also.

by Jon Azerbaijan (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 4:43am

RE: #24/25

Given the right cellmate, that very well might happen before he leaves the slammer.

I was gonna call it "the joint," but that just seemed like piling on.....

Instead of "slash," what nickname might he get? Bang-bang? Leadfoot? Jailbait? I mean, in addition to his official FO moniker of Hank Bosnia.

Okay, now I feel so dirty.

by tunesmith (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 4:50am

Oh, man. Hercules Ontario. This is awesome!

by Levente, Hungary (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 5:09am

I need some assistance.

The name for me was Lex Tajikistan. But in Hungary we use our name in family name / first name order. Entered like this, my disguise is Erik Venezuela.
Which one do I have to use?


by kleph (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 5:35am

i say keep the one you already have, "levente hungary."

by Sebastian C. (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 8:12am


by Ted (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 9:05am

Duff Soviet Union here. That's awesome

by Harris (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 9:19am

San Marino. Chad San Marino. I feel like a swarthy gigolo. I'm going to make that my screen name on Adult Friend Finder.

by Harris (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 9:25am

My little brothers are Big Boy Spain and Fausto United States or, as I call him, F.U. States.

by Ted (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 9:36am

I have to post the funniest quote I've heard about this. From the "Mighty mjd sports blog" (I don't know how to link). "Any NFL team that entertains notions of drafting him should just step up to the podium and say, "With the next selection if the NFL draft, we select Ryan Leaf's maturity, Lawrence Phillips' views on public behavior, R. Kelly's sexual habits, and OJ Simpson's regard for morality." And then he'll proudly hold up his Raiders jersey."

by Riche (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 9:51am

Danny Guam. I was hoping for better.

by Tarrant (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 10:06am

I am "Franc East Timor."

Figuring that isn't going to work, I decided to include my middle name and got a much more palatable "Sam Netherlands". I like that one.


by C (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 10:59am

I'm Kip Lybia and the wife is Suzie Samoa.

by jean-claude france (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 11:09am

Since I have a shortened first name I tried a few combinations until I found a decent name. I don't want to be Jose Maria France when I'm using my two cells at the clinic, do I?

by Ray (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 11:33am

HÃ¥kan India here. I don't even know how to pronounce that! My wife got the cool name, with Venus Denmark. Ah, blissful anonymnimity here I come! Once I learn how to pronounce my pseudonym anyway.

Oh and good ol' Hank will get drafted, but anyone who takes him before the 6th round will be crazy. The guy will never play a clean year of football.

by DGL (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 11:34am

Various combinations of first name, middle name, and initials gave various results, the best of which (IMHO) was Xavier Turkmenistan (and, of course, the Xavier should be pronounced in the Mexican fashion, "HAH-vee-air").

by Ron Slovakia (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:06pm

As far as the name below, hey, it's what I got stuck with.

But, c'mon, no one will draft the guy -- he'll sign as a UFA with the Panthers. Between the suppliers, the drinking, and the cheerleaders, he'll think he's in heaven.

by DavidH (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:40pm

Rock Hong Kong or Raymond Armenia, depending on if I use my middle name.

I like Rock Hong Kong. Raymond Armenia sounds like a used mattress salesman.

by Clod (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:42pm

Philippe Sudan

by kleph (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:59pm

there is an interesting article in the hampton roads daily press examining the aftermath of this whole sordid mess on the VT program. (click my name)

by AndyNH (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 12:59pm

Hank Jordan here. Wife is Zara Cuba.

I feel like I should become a free safety or something now...

And someone will take a shot with Mr. Bosnia. I see NFL Europe in his future.

by JonL (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 1:14pm

Robb Samoa. As with most of these, it's a pretty good name.

by Rich Conley (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 1:26pm

Using Rich
Xavier San Marino.

I like that

using Richard
Big Boy Vatican.

full name (with middle)
Dante Togo

by Guy Poland (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 2:03pm

I like Suzy Samoa best ... even more than my name (see below).

by Guy Poland (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 2:03pm

Sounds a little raunchy thoug *gg*

by Sara (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 3:25pm

When I enter my middle name too, I'm "Briana Barbados." I like that better.

by Björn (not verified) :: Tue, 01/10/2006 - 5:17pm

RE: #11

Tom Canada plays linebacker for the Winnipeg Blue Bombers. Don't do that to him. He's done nothing wrong!

My randon name is Bruno Nepal. I had to use initials, or else I would have been stuck with Thom Italy. My girl name is Bambi Nepal. Screw this, I'm taking my girl name!

by Disco Stu (not verified) :: Wed, 01/11/2006 - 12:18am

Boy Kuwait. I like that one. But then when I use my full name my Ron Mexico name becomes- holy crap- Ron Mexico!!!

by Another Craig B (not verified) :: Wed, 01/11/2006 - 1:50am

Jorge Cyprus. Not bad, not bad at all.

by Another Craig B (not verified) :: Wed, 01/11/2006 - 1:51am

My wife, on the other hand, is Maria Belize, which sounds so hot I may just ask to call her that sometimes.

My son's name is Nikko Jordan, which is cool enough to use all the time.

by Sid (not verified) :: Thu, 01/12/2006 - 12:36am
by Sid (not verified) :: Thu, 01/12/2006 - 2:24am

Those name generators are random. You could plug in your name twice and get 2 different results. Totally random.
If anyone cares, I'm Stark Blacksburg.

by Tuomas (not verified) :: Thu, 01/12/2006 - 9:05am

Actually, I can promise you this particular name generator isn't random. Well, how do I know, you may ask. That's because I made it. But you can see the nonrandomness by testing it too: you always get the same output with the same input.

BTW, comment #36 is right on the money... :P

by Sid (not verified) :: Thu, 01/12/2006 - 10:07am

RE: 52

Just call yourself Javier. :D