Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

30 Apr 2007

Falcons Defense Good At Hurting Themselves

The draft-day news that Demorrio Williams had torn his pectoral muscle lifting weights (ouch, by the way) has been exacerbated by today's news that Rod Coleman ruptured his right quadricep boating over the weekend and could miss part of the regular season. Combined with the handbags being tossed by Grady Jackson and the team, the Falcons might want to bring Ian Scott back in for a second look.

How do you tear a quad on a boat, exactly, anyway?

Posted by: Bill Barnwell on 30 Apr 2007

24 comments, Last at 01 May 2007, 8:14pm by emcee fleshy (sd/atl)


by Trogdor (not verified) :: Mon, 04/30/2007 - 11:12pm

Outstanding title.

Maybe he tore it waterskiing? Or maybe it's an olde-style sailboat, and he hurt himself rigging the masts or doing some other boat thing whose terms I don't know. At least he didn't get scurvy.

by Bill Barnwell :: Mon, 04/30/2007 - 11:17pm

A friend of mine recently contracted typhoid fever and I encouraged her by reminding her that it could be worse -- she could've drowned while trying to ford the river.

by Adam Gretz (not verified) :: Mon, 04/30/2007 - 11:28pm

I used to spend hours upon hours in the back of my elementary school classrooms playing Oregon Trail on some jacked up Apple II computer.

Maybe I don't know what 2 + 2 is, but damnit, if my conestoga wagon losses a wheel somewhere between Independence Missouri and Oregon i'll be ready to pick off more little white bunny rabbits and water buffalo than I know what to do with.

by Adam H. (not verified) :: Mon, 04/30/2007 - 11:45pm

Sounds like a cover up in progress. I used to be in the Coast Guard and I've never even heard of anyone tearing a quad on a boat. These two were obviously mauled by Vick's dogs.

by Will Allen (not verified) :: Mon, 04/30/2007 - 11:59pm

I dunno, I saw "The African Queen" once, and it looked like Humphrey Bogart coulda' tore a quad while pulling the tug through a malarial swamp while sloshed on Gordon's gin, with Kate Hepburn nagging him mercilessly.

If I was Coleman, that's the cover story I'd use....

by Truman (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 12:24am

It was a jetski.
Bill, you forgot backup DT Jonathan Babineaux's dog incident, for which he still faces charges.
Apparently Ian Scott has still been talking with the team, I'd expect him to be signed within the next day or two.

by Marko (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 12:42am

Was Fred Smoot there? He probably has done things on a boat that could result in a ruptured quad.

by Adam H. (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 1:26am

RE 6 Was Babineaux also mauled by Vick dogs? Ebola!

by Tom (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 3:26am

I was really hoping that the Bears could resign Ian Scott. There goes that dream.

by Spartz (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 4:07am

Don't worry, you guys have.....ANTHONY ADAMS!!!!!



Anthony Adams, ladies and gentlemen!


by langsty (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 4:36am

I'm finding myself wishing that the Falcons would've used all their first day picks on d-linemen.

Coleman and Demorrio's injuries don't bother me as much as the possibility that Grady Jackson might not be with the team anymore, what with the whole lawsuit thing happening. He and Michael Boley were our best defenders last year.

by mactbone (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 9:45am

Well, it sounds better than:
"I broke my hand answering the telephone."
"I tripped over the dog while moving furniture."
and whatever Griese's excuse was.

by Chris (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 9:49am

Oregon trail on jacked up apple compters... heck year. The best is when people died and you wrote bogus tombstones for your classmates to see later.

Demorrio Williams is a punk.

by Sophandros (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 10:27am

Anyone remember a couple of seasons ago when Coleman missed a couple of games after being in a late night traffic accident?


by calig23 (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 11:03am

Maybe he was attacked by pirates and injured himself while fending them off with his bare hands.

And Oregon Trail was awesome.

by MJK (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 12:33pm

Bill, I take a little offense at your implication that boating is not athletic. :-) I use to race (sailboats) and it's certainly possible to injure your quad (or just about any other body part) in a boat. Or at least, in a real boat (a sailboat), and not one of the motorized stinkpots that keep jamming up all the waterways.

I've personally strained ankles, quads, abs, pecs, and lats, and seen broken bones (fingers and hands mostly) and concussions, and know people that have lost fingers or hands while doing serious racing (e.g. Olympics or America's Cup). Some kinds of boating are not safe at all.

But I can't find what kind of boat it was. Chances are it was just some motorboat and he was just doing something dumb.

Oh, yeah, and Oregon Trail rocked. I remember that you never wanted to waste ammo shooting at the rabbits, because they had so little meat. You were much better served saving your bullets for the deer or bear.

by Bill Barnwell :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 12:37pm

#16 - My fault -- I should've really said "How does Rod Coleman tear his quad on a boat?"

by JasonC23 (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 12:40pm

Not football related, but check out the Web site in my link for a White Sox blogger chronicling the team's season Oregon Trail style.

by Chris (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 1:13pm

I was a mean Buffalo hunter in Oregon trail. Those Buffalos were in about as much trouble as Mike Vicks dogs.

by Randy S. (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 2:45pm

19 - Anyone else kill way more buffalo than was necessary?

Fording rivers that were way too deep was also fun, since we'd name the settlers after other people in the class.

by BigManChili (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 3:10pm

Re#12: Sammy Sosa pulled a back muscle "sneezing".

by Chris (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 3:33pm

Randy- If I remember correctly, you could only take home a certain ammount of meat ( maybe 900lbs), we'd still waste as many Buffalo as humanly possible ( just like the real settlers).

by Gus (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 5:58pm

20 - I killed so many Buffalo that while attempting to cross a river, my party was drowned by the SPCA. Happy memories of that game (sigh).

Did anyone rename their party members with such ridiculous names that they had no idea what the game was talking abut when a message popped up about sickness?

ex. "TRH@#$%T2334 Has Typhoid Fever"

(Gus curses and looks up who the hell that is)

by emcee fleshy (sd/atl) (not verified) :: Tue, 05/01/2007 - 8:14pm

14 - Yes, I remember those games that Coleman missed.

The Falcons were #1 against the run before those games. Then, 2004 wk7, the Chiefs hung 271 rushing yards and EIGHT TD's on them in one game without Coleman.

(After watching that game, I actually converted my religion to "Roafism")

May Coleman heal quickly, In'shWilly.