Writers of Pro Football Prospectus 2008

22 Dec 2005

Week 16 Rundown

Seattle-Indy has lost its luster, we all remember what happened the last time Washington played the Giants the week after a blowout win, and we have good news for Atlanta: it will not be below freezing in Tampa Bay. All that plus the odds on where Norv Turner will be working in 2006 in this week's Mike Tanier Rundown.

Posted by: Mike Tanier on 22 Dec 2005

29 comments, Last at 23 Dec 2005, 8:01pm by LnGrrrR


by Richard (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:07am

Thanks for putting the line back in my head, Mike.

by Chance (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:08am

I think we can safely set the odds of Norv Turner working at the University of Colorado to some-ridiculously-high-number-plus-one to one. Frankly, I'm not sure he could successfully manage the IHOP, either; have you seen the crowds there on a Sunday morning? It's much like the NFL - if you can't rush, you're in trouble.

by Devin McCullen (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:21am

Oh God, I can't believe you referenced the "we're gelling" commercials. Some of the dumbest ads ever. Next thing, you're going to reference the Empire Carpet commercials and I will have to hunt you down and beat you about the head.

The Batman reference was great, though.

by bobman (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:28am

Did Shotty really say to Shula "I wish I knew how to quit you."??? What does this even mean? Are the next words out of his mouth from Jerry Maguire: "You complete me." and "You had me at hutt-hutt."

Also, Mike, Chris Simms pinata party, I assume you meant, not piata. Aside from that, top rate as usual.

Though I wonder about the letdown effect with the Hawks facing a lot of second stringers and knowing they can pretty much cream Green Bay the following week to secure HFA... will Jim "the 6-5 stickman" Sorgi, who threw for two scores against a good Denver D last year, surprise them? (seriously, the guy is listed as Manning's height, but 40 lbs lighter, and Manning ain't no Jared Lorenzen.) Plus Rhodes is a former 1,100 yard rusher (in his rookie year when started only 10 games!), but I think Indy's loss will be secured by a D that will miss about a third of the starting unit against a potent Seahawks O.

by mrE (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:30am

not only will the revolution not be televised, - it will not be brought to you by Xerox in 4 parts without comemercial interruptions either.
Also, I enjoyed the not so subtle joke (?) about TO's family relations. but, hey. you might actually be right...
anyway. entertaining update as always

by zip (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:34am

Maybe it's the eggnog that was left out of the fridge talking, but this could be a preview of the 2007 NFC championship game.

hahahaha... well said.

by Francisco (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 3:20am

Nice Admiral Stockdale reference. Haven't seen that one for a while. And I laughed at the gelling joke.

by NF (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 3:42am

David Carr called plays in the first half and the OC called them in the second half? I wonder what the DVOA was for the Texans offense in each half.

I also wonder why they did this. I'm guessing it was to see if David Carr could call plays better than the coaching staff. Was he sacked less in the first-half then usual?

by NF (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 3:47am

"Perhaps LeBetard should take a longer look at the guest list at this receiver's recent birthday function: Will Smith, Paris Hilton, War, Michael Irvin, Famine, Ray Lewis, Jamie Foxx, Lito Sheppard, Pestilence, and Jessica Simpson."

"...don't fear the reaper-don't fear the reaper-don't fear the reaper..."

I thought of that song when I read that sentence.

by big_adventure (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 6:05am

I thought of no Soft White Underbellies song, but the T.O. birthday guest list was brilliant.

Wouldn't YOU want to go to that party. The song that comes to mind for me has a line:

"I think my time's arrived at last,
I was doin' cocaine off Miss October's ...".


by Andrew (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 9:48am

Holy Toledo!

Did Jim Sorgi just walk out of Dachau after he was captured in that picture in this article?

Get that man some protein shakes before his cheeks sink into his throat!

by Starshatterer (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 11:40am

Did Shotty really say to Shula “I wish I knew how to quit you.�??? What does this even mean?
I think it's a Brokeback Mountain reference.

by JonL (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 11:41am

Great Rundown this week, except for one instance of shoddy journalism. I don't think Pestilence or Lito Sheppard were actually at the party. They must have just told you they were going to be there.

by Jeremy Billones (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 11:49am

Re #8:

First Half:

24 pts
0 sacks
0 picks

Second Half:

6 pts
3 sacks
1 pick


by PhillyCWC (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 1:02pm

Dude: It IS the eggnog talking.

by Tom Kelso (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 1:29pm

Maybe it's the age talking, but when I saw the third name on TO's party list, the immediate thought was, "Good god, y'all! What is he GOOD for ?"

by Mshray (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 1:34pm

Re 13, No JonL, what most people don't realize is that Pestilence & Jessica Simpson are the same person.

by B (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 1:59pm

I always thought Paris Hilton was pestilence.

by big_adventure (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:26pm

18 -

I think she used to be famine. Though I'm hoping for T.O.'s 4th horseman to handle her for us, now that she has abdicated...


by big_adventure (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:32pm

Since we're talking about LeBatard, we'll mention something I picked up off the Internet yesterday. Gus Frerotte said that Chris Chambers was a "better all-around" receiver than Randy Moss.

This year's performance aside (and Gus hasn't played with Moss this year), who in their right mind would volunteer such information? Not that we think Captain Headbutt is any kind of a braniac, but seriously, Gus!


by Playoff Seedings Rules Lawyer (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:34pm

Patriots at Jets: [...] Playoff-bound teams around the AFC are counting on the Jets to pull off an upset; no one wants to travel to Foxboro for a playoff game if they can avoid it.

Uh, the Patriots have clinched the division. Thus, they will host a playoff game, regardless of what happens in the Jets game. The end.

Failure to comprehend playoff seeding and tiebreaking rules is something that we've all come to expect from every other media source. (Paraphrase of CBS during the Steelers-Vikings game Sunday: "The Steelers control their own destiny and will make the playoffs if they win out." Or not.) But please, Football Outsiders, aspire to a higher standard!

by TomC (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 2:40pm

A Great Santini reference?! What do you think the average age of your Fox readership is?

The subtle GoodFellas wink, on the other hand, was perfect. ("I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.")

by B (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 3:16pm

19: The Olsen twins can fill in nicely as famine.

by JonL (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 5:13pm

Based on nothing, I wouldn't be surprised to see Norval end up in Houston, either as a head coach or an OC (although I don't really see him taking another OC job).

by zlionsfan (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 5:24pm

Hmm. I always thought of Kate Moss as famine, but at this point in her career, that's probably beating a dead horse.

by B (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 6:00pm

Hmmm, is there a chemical dependancy horse?

by HLF (not verified) :: Thu, 12/22/2005 - 6:09pm

Re: Brokeback Mountain:

Don't go see it, I hear the good guys get it in the end.

by Starshatterer (not verified) :: Fri, 12/23/2005 - 9:55am

HLF --

At the risk of introducing religion to this thread, you're gonna burn in hell for that one. :-D

by LnGrrrR (not verified) :: Fri, 12/23/2005 - 8:01pm

HEhehe good one HLF :)