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22 Dec 2009

The Week in Quotes: December 22, 2009

compiled by Rory Hickey


"I don't live in my fear, I just play and play to win and I don't worry about being judged."

-- Steelers coach Mike Tomlin on his controversial onside kick call in the Steelers' 37-36 win over the Packers. (Steelers Depot)


"22 had something to say to me on the field, the little youngster. Just telling me who he is. So I just had to establish the rules and regulations of the game."

"Which was 89. Bottom line. That's why he's going home."

-- Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith (age 30) on his trash-talking match with Vikings defensive back Benny Sapp (age 28) during the Vikings-Panthers game. (NBC Sports)


"Huge dude. I'm not scared of anybody. Nobody. You put your pants on the right way, same way I do. You bleed like I do, you stand over the toilet and you [urinate] like I do. I'm not scared of anybody. At all."

-- Giants running back Brandon Jacobs on his scuffle with Redskins defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth during the fourth quarter of the Giants-Redskins game. (D.C. Sports Bog)


"I contemplated just going kicking the field goal after [Coughlin] called timeout. But the play was unique enough I didn't think they saw what we were going to do. But they smelled it out."

-- Redskins head coach Jim Zorn on the ridiculous fake field goal attempt at the end of the first half of the Redskins' blowout loss to the Giants. (Sports Illustrated)


"You thought after last week it couldn't get any worse. Surprise. I don't know what's going on, to be honest with you."

-- Seahawks wide receiver T.J. Houshmandzadeh on the state of the Seahawks after the team's 24-7 loss to the Buccaneers. (The Seattle Times)


"We just don't understand how the national media don't bash us, but our local media do. This has been going on since the [Kansas City] game, how y'all have been writing. … If you're going to write something, don't pick a particular position out and what changes you think need to be made because it's unfair to the player."

"You watch the Eagles, you watch the big plays given up, and I started checking other media outlets and you don't hear the things about them in their media that you hear about us. So either we're held to higher standards, or the people that write about us are turds."

-- Steelers safety Ryan Clark giving his thoughts on the local media coverage of the team. (Trib Total Media)


"I've had the pleasure of working with some great coaches such as Joe Gibbs, Greg Blache and Sherman Lewis."

-- Former Redskins executive vice president of football operations Vinny Cerrato's statement upon resigning from the team. He neglected to mention Jim Zorn. (The Washington Times)


"I was dead wrong, obviously, with the playoff scenarios. It's weird. You would think the head coach of the team would know the situations and know the playoff scenarios."

"So I'm a New England Patriots fan for a week."

-- Jets coach Rex Ryan learning that the Jets were still mathematically alive, after declaring his team out of the playoffs the previous day. (The Huddle)


"Now you all had two weeks to do y'all's talking, let me do mine. I've been in this league twelve years man, and I've been through a lot. And these shoulders that I have on my body, you could put the earth on it. So just to let you know, I bounce back."

-- Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss. (WEEI)


"We were going to race down Ocean Drive. I walked down to the street, and he never showed up."

-- Titans running back Chris Johnson on a proposed race between him and Dolphins wide receiver Ted Ginn that never occurred. (The Huddle)

"It wasn't anything like I didn't show up. It wasn't like I went to him to say, 'Let's race.' There were some guys at the party who wanted to say who was faster, so they started the rumor. It's not like I'm denying it or I'm scared of him."

-- Ginn describing his side of the story.

"He's pretty fast. But a lot of people get it mistaken at the conference he played at. Was it the Big Ten? They're a slow conference. They don't have fast guys in that conference. It automatically makes him look like he's a real fast guy."

-- Johnson on Ginn's perceived speed. (The Huddle)


"It is impossible to shut the man up. I don't want to call him out, but even when I pancaked him, he was still talking trash. How are you talking trash when you're on your back?"

-- Falcons fullback Ovie Mughelli on Jets linebacker Bart Scott's affinity for trash-talking. (NY Daily News)


"I want to see him take a right end and keep him away from our quarterback for an entire game, that's what I want to see. I want to see him, when we run the football, knock somebody on their ass. When we run the football away, I want to see him cut somebody down. That's what I want to see. I want to see some nastiness!"

"If you're going to be a good offensive lineman ... you've got to have -- can I say it? ... You've got to be a little bit of a dirtbag. Not as a person, but on the football field. Man, if you don't have some frickin' toughness, you're going to fail, you know? You're going to fail."

-- Seahawks coach Jim Mora on what he would like to see from left tackle Sean Locklear. (The Huddle)


"I will beat Shawne's head in, right now. It's not even fun. This is not in fun. This is personal. Bring it on. I think he might be one of the only people I don't really get along with. I want to fight. I'm not sure how to get the fight on without him suing me."

-- Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco on wanting to fight Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman for unspecified reasons, though a Twitter fight or Ochocinco mimicking Merriman's "Lights Out" dance could be the reason. (The Huddle)

"It would be a joke, man. It's like a little kid, you hold out your hand and you hold their head and they swing, you know, and they can't do anything. It's one of those things."

-- Merriman responding to Ochocinco's threat.



-- Bills linebacker Kawika Mitchell on the team signing offensive lineman and head-butter Richie Incognito. (Twitter)


"If they don't pay this boy Imma take the keys to all the cars in the house so he can't get to work!"

-- Cleveland Browns wunderkind Josh Cribbs' wife Maria on what will happen if the Browns don't give her husband a new contract. (Twitter)


"Obviously, a lot of guys like Christmas. I think that's what it is. Everybody likes Christmas. What do you really have to look forward to in September? The first day of school?"

-- Chargers defensive lineman Jacques Cesaire on why the Chargers play so well in December. (SignOnSanDiego.com)


"If he could keep that a secret and ain't nobody came out and told [on him], hey, congratulate him. You know, most of the time there's one or two, and you can't keep that a secret. So if he can balance fourteen and keep it a secret, congrats. You know, at least he knows what he wants. He don't discriminate, he's not against people, he don't care what your job, what your background is ... He knew what he was after."

-- Redskins running back Clinton Portis on Tiger Woods' numerous infidelities. (SportsbyBrooks)

It's only three days until Christmas ... send a quote to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com and I will personally give you a gift suggestion for a loved one. You're welcome.

Posted by: Rory Hickey on 22 Dec 2009

56 comments, Last at 24 Dec 2009, 8:53pm by HostileGospel


by C (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:17am

No mention of the Tony Dungy quote?
" The Dallas Cowboys have no chance of beating the Saints"?

Clinton Portis says some of the dumbest things. The Washington radio stations put Portis on air and he just makes you wonder.

The Kawika Mitchell quote just shows that a lot of these locker rooms aren't the unified happy family front that some people think they are. Some guys just aren't popular and a lot of the guys don't like each other.

by Level-one troll (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:53am

"C[linton Portis] says some of the dumbest things."


by DrewTS (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:00am

Considering the evidence on hand at the time he said it, I think Dungy was just saying what a lot of folks were thinking. So I won't bash him too much for that.

In more general terms though, announcers need to learn to stop speaking in absolutes. It's especially galling from the former player/coach types, because they tend to do it more often, and they should know better than anyone that "any given Sunday" isn't just a slogan.

On the other hand, I'm sure they're encouraged to speak with a level of certainty in order to project "expertness". If he had said "New Orleans will probably beat Dallas", the overwhelming response would have been "yeah, duh."

by C (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:29am

The Saints had some close games against the Redskins, the Chris Redman Falcons, Miami and other teams, but Dallas couldn't beat them? For all it's worth, the Dallas offensive line is massive, they had Marion Barber, a competant QB, and they NEEDED to win as an underdog on a nationally televised game. They were only 7 point underdogs.

Were the Saints Likely to win? Sure, but Dallas having no chance was a dumb thing to say. The Oakland Raiders were 14 point underdogs to the Jamarcus Raiders and they lost to them in a bigger upset.

The Saints were 13-0, but they were "lucky" in some of their wins but we don't think of good or better teams getting "lucky" win wins, people think only bad teams have "lucky wins".

Yes, Dungy shouldn't have spoke in absolute terms, but that's what sells on air. Nobody wants to hear about how some team has a 75% probability of winning the game ( what the odds dictated). Dungy bit into Dan Patricks bait.

by Sophandros :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 12:07pm

The Cowboys played their best game of the season, the Saints rested several players, went vanilla on offense, played their worst ball of the season, and still almost won.


It's really sad that the fans of one of the most storied franchises in the history of American sports have fallen so far.

Sports talk radio and sports message boards are the killing fields of intellectual discourse.

by Key19 :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 3:33pm

As a Cowboys fan, I must agree that we have some of the most idiotic fans in the NFL. I never thought that C was a Cowboys fan though. Maybe I don't pay close enough attention to most commenters' identities.

Honestly, though, the game was not as close as the score indicates. Dallas dominated the game for three quarters, then totally changed their defensive philosophy to prevent huge plays. The Saints were fortunate to convert some short dump-offs into longer gains, which led to fairly quick scores. If the game was closer, Dallas' defense would've played more stingy. But they didn't because they didn't have to, as the final score indicates.

And honestly, Charles Grant was the only injury worth mentioning. To say that they "rested guys" is just sour grapes. Shockey has been replacement-level all season in my opinion, and honestly, the game was lost mostly by the Saints' two HEALTHY tackles that just got perpetually whipped by an INJURED DeMarcus Ware (and Anthony Spencer, admittedly). There was no "resting" of guys by the Saints. They wanted this game like nothing else and just got beat. And honestly, without Nick Folk being a headcase, the game would've been won by two scores by the Cowboys. The Saints had the same miracle miss as they did against the Redskins, but the Cowboys refused to let them make a comeback to force OT because they are a good team and certainly better than the Redskins. Brees had the chance and failed. And not having Shockey on that last drive was not the difference.

You can say the Cowboys played their best game of the season (which is probably true), but they FORCED the Saints into playing their worst game of the season. It's not like the Saints just didn't care or were brutally decimated by injuries or the Cowboys just had dumb luck. The Saints played poorly because they were forced to play poorly by a superior (on that night at least) team.

by tuluse :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 4:03pm

C is a Giants fan for what it's worth.

by Joseph :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 6:24pm

Key, Sophandros probably mistated the fact that the Saints rested players. They were without Shockey (who has been better than replacement--esp. as a BLOCKER; David Thomas is NOT a good blocker), and Jabari Greer. It was SLB Fujita's first game back in a while, CB Porter's, and WR Lance Moore's as well; also DT Sedrick Ellis and CB Gay went out during the game. If you happen to check the official injury report, the Saints listed (IIRC) EIGHTEEN!!! players on it--that's besides the 12 (again, iirc) that are already on IR.
I will hand it to the Cowboys--they played great, and didn't turn the ball over, making them the only opponent to do that against the Saints. IMO, that is a factor in them winning the game--not the only one, mind you--but it was certainly a factor.

by C (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 8:40pm

I am a Giants fan ( and an avid NFC East guy) but I must admit there are about 3-4 of you knowledgeable Dallas fans here. A couple of you guys brought up the dogma about the Cowboys running more ( I was wrong), and it seemed like the FO guys ignored you too despite your insistence but you were right.

Dallas did "win" the game, and it was because of Demarcus Ware ( and Romo). If he didn't play ( I can't believe he did play a week after being carted off the field), then Dallas wouldn't win. If Romo didn't play so well, then Dallas wouldn't win. I agree, you forced them into mistakes ( mainly Ware).

The Saints didn't *rest* guys, they were injured and Dallas beat an overrated Saints team fair and square.

by whatyousay :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 2:24pm

"The Oakland Raiders were 14 point underdogs to the Jamarcus Raiders"

talk about your Sports Bar in Hell...

by commissionerleaf :: Wed, 12/23/2009 - 6:28pm

Well, JaMarcus has certainly beaten the Oakland Raiders several times this year.

by Purds :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:58am

Moss shouldn't have said anything this week, either. If you're not going to talk to the press when you're in an uncomfortable situation (being accused of slacking, losing games, etc.), then it sounds petty when you wait until the situation turns and then start blabbing. I respected his silence, as he apparently wanted his play to do the talking for him; he should do that in good times as well. No need to reinforce his reputation as a front runner. Let that good game last Sunday speak volumes for you, Randy.

by AnonymousA (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:11am

What I don't get is the title for his quote (about how big the Earth is). Moss was making a reference to the mythological character of Atlas. It wasn't exactly a perfect analogy, but it's certainly not dumb.

by DrewTS (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:14am

Being accused of dogging it = the weight of the world?

Sounds kind of dumb to me. Especially since that's something he's been known to do, and even admitted to doing, in the past.

by Paul R :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:18am

Atlas played for the Titans, though.

by Gruntled (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 12:56pm

And he was great, but nobody remembers anyone else from that team.

by Hurt Bones :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 1:09pm

I seem to remember that Prometheus was the OC.

by Gruntled (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 1:24pm

Forgot about him; didn't he do some time for burglary or something? I think he might still be locked up.

by Hurt Bones :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 1:52pm

Yes, his appeal on the grounds of cruel and unusual punishment didn't succeed.

by the silent speaker (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 5:48pm

But as a player Prometheus wasn't that great. It seemed like the Eagles would pick on him all the time.

by Paul R :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 7:57pm

Wow! I think that joke just gave me a concussion. I'm going to have to come out for a couple of plays.

(Wish I'd thought of it.)

by John (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 9:50pm

IIRC, Epimetheus got in trouble for going to Mexico with Pandora before the playoffs.

by andrew :: Wed, 12/23/2009 - 5:36am

He only went so he and Vick would help the Na'vi.

Oh, wait. I thought you said "for going to Pandora with Ron Mexico."

never mind.

by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 3:53pm

That's not true. Saturn was a hell of a player - only guy on that team to get a ring.

by Hurt Bones :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 4:05pm

Saturn played for the Romans. Uranus is the only Titan with a ring.

by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 4:17pm

My bad - I always get mixed up with the European leagues.

by Aeon (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 5:43pm

Well, not if you use proper hygiene.

by Vincent Verhei :: Wed, 12/23/2009 - 3:51pm

Bravo to this entire thread. Well done, all of you.

by andrew :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:26am

I think the answer is obvious.

Randy Moss is an Objectivist.

I heard he plays video games, he probably played Bioshock and thus was introduced to the philosophy there.

In the novel Atlas Shrugged, the protagonist Taggart begins to notice that the greatest men in the country are disappearing, much like Randy Moss did against Carolina. Keep questioning them and denying them their worth, and they may vanish altogether, leaving the team, the league and indeed the society which did not apreciate them helpless without their greatness.

I applaud this intricate literary reference by "Ayn" Randy Moss. Well played, sir. You are entitled to the sweat from your brow, do not abandon us common men.

by C (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:30am

A = A

Who is Randy Moss?

by tunesmith (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 3:30pm

And he wins games by trash-talking for fifty pages until his opponents get bored to death?

by DaninPhilly (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:48am

There's a simpler explination. If you stand on your head, you actually do have the whole world on your shoulders. Anyone can do it.

by BucKai :: Wed, 12/23/2009 - 10:42am

Not to get too picky but the Taggarts are the protagonist and the antagonist. Dagny the sister, is the protagonist, while James the brother is among the antagonists.

Unfortunately, it's too early with not enough coffee to properly frame that into a football metaphor regarding Moss's feminine wiles during good performances and some demeaning male quality when the alligator arms make their appearance.

My kingdom for an amusing metaphor.

by Paul R :: Wed, 12/23/2009 - 11:40am

Atlas Shrugged is also the inspiration for Rush's epic concept album 2112, which I guess makes Randy Moss the Neil Peart of the NFL.

With Tom Brady as Geddy Lee?

by Noah Arkadia :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:15am

Does anyone have any idea what the Skins were trying to do in that trick play? I was actually excited when they set it up and during the TO I was thinking "Go for it anyway! They can't prepare the defense in 30 seconds!"

And then that thing happened...

by C (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:22am

They were trying to catch a confused Giants team into giving up a cheap touchdown. When the Redskins ran into their trick formation, Coughlin called a timeout. After the timeout, the Giants defended the play the way they wanted and had about 6 defenders back there to make the pick. It was a horribly stupid play call in what was really a hail mary thrown by your punter with no protection in front of him.

Last night I made some of the easiest money in my entire life time.

by Noah Arkadia :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 4:10pm

Surely it was supposed to be a lateral throw, then the person taking the snap would run down the field uncovered for a TD or something like that. The way they ran it had no chance of working, confused, defense or not.

by apk3000 :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 4:20pm

I'm guessing it was supposed to be a fake screen to the kicker who motioned toward the other guys and 12 (next to the center) was supposed to be left alone for a score.

by Nathan :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 6:44pm

Really? Nobody?

It's called a swinging gate... it's not THAT uncommon. And it does work occasionally (Youtube it). KC (I think) tried to run it earlier this year (with similar results). The real problem is (as C pointed out) that NY called a timeout to adjust the defense and then WASHINGTON ATTEMPTED TO RUN IT AGAIN.

by andrew :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:18am

That's not really a good translation of "Lights Out".

Luces Fuera" would tranlate literally as "Lights Outside", although even that wouldn't be how you'd say it if you meant a light outside (you might say "las luces afuera").

Light Out as in "Lights Turned Off" would be more like "luces apagados". Although if it were a case of the electricity being out, you might say "se fue la luz".

"Luz" (lights) could refer to all the lights in a house or even all the electricity.

And none of these convey the meaning of "Lights Out" as in knocked out or a terrific performance.

Honestly in this context many spanish speakers (especially here) would just say that idiom in english, e.g.:

'Fue "lights out" después de un golpe.'


'el "Lights Out" baile de Shawn Merriman'... etc

by Kevin from Philly :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 12:17pm

Maybe we should concentrate on the Spanish sports phrases that work:



Um, I guess that's about it.

by tuluse :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 12:25pm

Of course 85 isn't Ochocinco, so maybe it was a more clever joke than you're giving it credit for.

by BigCheese :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 6:26pm

Well, if we're going to nit-pick the spanish, let's do it right, shall we?

"Luces fuera" translates literally to "Lights get out," not "lights outside," which would indeed be "Luces afuera."

"Luz/luces" is femenine, so it would properly be "luces apagadas."

And I don't know about in the states, but no one here would actually use "lights out" in the middle of a spanish sentence. "Sin luces," which means without lights is what I've heard.

- Alvaro Ibañez (definitely not Ibanyez)

by Noah Arkadia :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 8:18pm

I'm a professional translator, and lights out would be translated as: "increíble", or something similar. However, this was supposed to be funny. And it was. So knock it off!

by Spielman :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 11:26am

"I contemplated just going kicking the field goal after [Coughlin] called timeout. But the play was unique enough I didn't think they saw what we were going to do. But they smelled it out."

Jim... probably three quarters of the football-viewing country saw what you were going to do, and most of the rest were in the kitchen or the bathroom.

by DM (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 12:27pm

And this wasn't the first (or second) time the Redskins have lined up to kick a FG and then shifted into a different formation and went for it. So on top of telegraphing the play with that formation, the Giants were already half expecting it.

by Anonymous91201 (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 12:54pm

I've got to think going for that fake was Jim Zorn's big "FU!" to Snyder and Cerrato. No one is dumb enough to call a play that needs surprise to work after the surprise is gone. Or maybe his punter drank the last of the coffee and didn't make new.

by Ben B. :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:11pm

The Redskins actually did this earlier this season. They motioned the kicker out on a field goal attempt and had Hunter Smith in a deep shotgun. Then the Redskins themselves called timeout because they somehow had 10 guys on the field. They did the exact same thing after the timeout and it still worked for a TD. Smith threw the ball probably 50 yards in the air to make it work. That play had the wrinkle that Smith could have punted, since it would have been a 53 yard FG attempt.

by peterplaysbass (verified?) (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 1:17pm

"No one is dumb enough to call a play that needs surprise to work after the surprise is gone."

So does that mean that if someone does, you're surprised?

by andrew :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 3:00pm

A huddle behind the trenches between Redskins head coach Jim Zorn, offensive coordinator sherm lewis and punter Hunter Smith during the timeout in world war I... um monday night.

Jim Zorn: Good man. Now, Coach Lewis has formulated a brilliant new
tactical plan to ensure final victory in the field.

Hunter Smith: Now, would this brilliant plan involve us moving all the linemen
between me and the Giants out of their way?

Sherm Lewis: How can you possibly know that Smith? It's classified

Hunter Smith: It's the same play that we were about to run before the timeout.

Jim Zorn: E-E-Exactly! And that is what so brilliant about it! We
will catch the watchful Giants totally off guard! Doing
precisely what we would have done before is exactly the
last thing they'll expect us to do this time!

There is however one small problem.

Hunter Smith: That I get hit zero point five seconds after the snap?

Jim Zorn: That's right! And Dan Snyder is worried that this
may be depressing the men a tadge. So, he's looking to
find a way to cheer them up.

Hunter Smith: Well, his resignation and suicide would seem the obvious

by peterplaysbass (verified?) (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 3:54pm

Superb response, sir.

by patriotsgirl :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 7:44pm

I can't imagine what it's like for Hunter Smith to have gone from the Colts to this. Sublime to ridiculous doesn't quite cover it.

by patriotsgirl :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 7:44pm

/double post

by c_f (not verified) :: Tue, 12/22/2009 - 7:51pm

Chris Johnson is a very fast man and a very talented RB, but he played in C-USA. Is he saying C-USA has better athletes than the Big Ten?

by witless chum :: Wed, 12/23/2009 - 2:35pm

The respectable version of the OMG!!!!! ESSS EEEE CEEEEE SPEED argument vs. the Big Teeleven involves generally better speed in the trenches, especially on the D-line. Not the backs and receivers. And not Conference USA.

Damn, we need to win some bowl games.

by HostileGospel :: Thu, 12/24/2009 - 8:53pm

Yes, Ryan Clark, you're right. No one in the Philly media ever slags the Eagles unfairly. Must be a Pittsburgh thing.

Overall, I'd be kind of embarrassed to critique something when I didn't know what the hell I was talking about, but then, oh yeah, my NAME is on what I write, isn't it?

-Les Bowen