The Week in Quotes

Football players (and coaches and front-office people) say the darndest things

The Week In Quotes: February 2, 2018

by Cale Clinton

STARK CONTRAST

"This one is in Minnesota."

-- New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is back to his same old non-answers when asked how this Super Bowl appears different from last year's. (Sportscenter/Instagram)

TAKE THE JETS OFF HIS SHORT LIST

"I speak on behalf of the New York Jets, we'll give you $60 million in cash if you come play for us."

-- An avid Jets fan reaches out to Pittsburgh Steelers running back Le'Veon Bell to see if he'll come to the Big Apple.

"That ain't enough to come run with the Jets…"

-- Bell's response. (Le'Veon Bell/Twitter)

AHH, THE GOOD OL' DAYS

"I've had a lot of great memories. I remember my uncles gave me chewing tobacco for the first time when I was really young. We were fishing. This is a pretty good story. We went sunfishing, and on the way home, I said, 'I want to try it.' They said, 'Look, if we give it to you, you can't spit it out until you get home.' "It was like 30 minutes to my grandpa's farm. So of course, they give it to me and within five minutes, I'm outside the car throwing up all over the place. I don't think I've had much chewing tobacco since then."

-- New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady recalls fond memories of his time in Minnesota, including his first experience with dip. (ProFootballTalk)

     

FOOTBALL GUYS CAN'T HANDLE THE REAL WORLD

"I had a morning last week where I had to drop the dogs off to get groomed, pick up a UPS package, make a stop at the pharmacist to pick up a prescription for my daughter and pick the dogs back up. I said 'I need to get back into coaching pretty quick. This is getting to be too much.'"

-- Former Arkansas head coach Bret Bielema is done with regular people things like going to the pharmacy. Someone hire him for the sake of the man's sanity. (Sports Illustrated)

NO SOUP FOR YOU

"I've called 3 Restaurants in Minneapolis to get a reservation for me and my teammates and 'can't' get in. Well played Minnesota fans, well played"

-- Philadelphia Eagles safety Chris Maragos and the rest of his teammates are having a tough time getting a reservation in Minnesota. The fans are seemingly still bitter after the Eagles eliminated the Vikings in the NFC Championship Game. (Chris Maragos/Twitter)

"Just tell them you want to make a reservation for Tom Brady with no explanation ... then arrive and say 'Hi I'm Tom.'"

-- Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Torrey Smith tries to give Maragos some tips on getting a reservation. (Torrey Smith/Twitter)

OLD GRUDGES DIE HARD

"Yes, I think it gave them an edge as well. We were rolling that year and nobody could cover us. It's funny you never saw TMZ come out with that tape."

-- Former St. Louis Rams wide receiver Isaac Bruce when asked if he believed the Patriots filmed his walkthrough during Super Bowl XXXVI. (Pardon My Take/Twitter)

HIS TEAM HAD A LOT OF TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

"I said to Robert [Kraft], 'You didn't have to do the 28-3 in the ring.' It kind of pissed me off."

-- Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank was not pleased with the fact that the Patriots' rings from Super Bowl LI had 283 diamonds encrusted in it, referencing the Falcons' 28-3 lead they blew that game. (ESPN/Twitter)

     

THIS WILL NEVER END, WILL IT?

"Why does everybody want me to retire so bad? I'm having fun. The team's doing well."

-- New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady opened his press conference with a question of his own: why does everyone want him to leave? (Dan Graziano/Twitter)

A GLOWING REVIEW?

"Oh my gosh. Just to watch him stand and throw the football. It looks like the prototype of how you want a quarterback to look. Can he hit the side of a barn? I don't know."

-- Color commentator Cris Collinsworth on NFL draft prospect Josh Allen. (Mike Tainer/Twitter)

LIKE CLOCKWORK

"Some how ... Some way ... they will blame this on me. No doubt"

-- Former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III believes that he'll somehow take the blame for the Redskins trading cornerback Kendall Fuller and a draft pick to the Kansas City Chiefs for quarterback Alex Smith, and the now-inevitable departure of Kirk Cousins in free agency. (Robert Griffin III/Twitter)

THIS WEEK IN SOCIAL MEDIA

LIFE COMES AT YOU FAST

-- Washington Redskins cornerback Kendall Fuller sends out a flurry of tweets as he declares himself safe, then finds out he was traded to Kansas City in the Alex Smith deal

-- Washington Redskins linebacker Preston Smith throws his two cents in on the trade.

"It was a surprise. I was actually working out at my hotel room here in Minneapolis and when I finished the workout went over to my phone and saw the news. Every player looks forward to free agency. It looks like I'm going to be a free agent on March 14. I guess there are still some dates to check off, but it should be an exciting process."

-- Washington Redskins quarterback (for a few more weeks) Kirk Cousins confirming the team did not tell him that they were acquiring Smith to replace him, and he found out online like everyone else. Hey, did you know Washington is a poorly run organization? It's true. (Mike Jones/USA Today)

CONDUCTOR OF THE PATS HATE TRAIN

-- Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster trolls a Pats fan who asked for a picture with him.

JOCKS CAN BE NERDS TOO

-- Green Bay Packers defensive tackle Mike Daniels dons a DragonBall Z scouter in celebration of new videogame DragonBall FighterZ.

KING OF RECRUITMENT

-- The father of high school cornerback Eddie Smith filmed Alabama head coach Nick Saban doing the "Cupid Shuffle" with Smith's entire family at his house. Anything to get another commitment.

MEDIA DAY BECOMES SHARK TANK IF YOU PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT

-- Comedian JB Smoove pitches "Uber Feet" to New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick. It went just about how you'd expect it to go.

I GUESS THEY REALLY WANTED TO START 2018 WITH A CLEAN SLATE

-- A Seattle Seahawks truck caught fire on the side of the highway. Thankfully no one was injured.

THE BEST TIME OF YEAR: WHEN ANIMALS MAKE GAME PICKS

-- Every year, for some reason, the Animal Kingdom is called upon to answer one question: who's going to win the Super Bowl? April the Giraffe decided to play it safe this year and choose New England.

PROOF THAT OUR READERS ARE SMARTER THAN JEOPARDY! CONTESTANTS

-- The first round of Jeopardy! this week ended with a series of football answers. It did not go well, much to the chagrin of Alex Trebek.

Comments

6 comments, Last at 21 Feb 2018, 9:22pm

1 Re: The Week In Quotes: February 2, 2018

by Aaron Brooks Good Twin // Feb 02, 2018 - 4:38pm

Fuller's Simpson's GIF is a classic.

Also, unfortunately for Mike Daniels, Brett Hundley was well below 9000.

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2 Re: The Week In Quotes: February 2, 2018

by SandyRiver // Feb 02, 2018 - 4:47pm

Not only did the contestants not answer any of the questions, they didn't even ring in to try. I've watched that show for years and that's the first time I've seen an entire category fail to elicit even a guess. And Roger Goodell thinks everybody is a football fan.

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3 Re: The Week In Quotes: February 2, 2018

by The Ninjalectual // Feb 02, 2018 - 11:16pm

It's a sad day for jocks and nerds alike.

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4 Re: The Week In Quotes: February 2, 2018

by Bright Blue Shorts // Feb 03, 2018 - 2:56pm

I could understand a non-football fan not knowing what an option run, offsetting penalties, fair catch or who the Purple People eaters were.

But there was a time when Tom Landry WAS the Dallas Cowboys. Ask that question thirty years ago and anyone would know the answer.

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5 Re: The Week In Quotes: February 2, 2018

by LionInAZ // Feb 03, 2018 - 8:00pm

Not impressed with Kendall Fuller's acumen. He should be thrilled that he's going to the Chiefs...

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