The 2006 All-Keep Choppin' Wood Team

by Bill Barnwell & Ian Dembsky

Ian: And here we go again. It's Brady vs. Manning, take 57 (or it sure seems that way). Season after season it's the same story -- Manning puts up great numbers with great talent around him; Brady wins with not nearly as much talent. I mean, Jabar Gaffney?? How many of you drafted him in your fantasy playoff league? I still refuse to take sides on which quarterback is better, but it sure seems like this weekend will be the biggest test so far of the supporting cast argument.

Can Brady get it done against the Colts with Reche Caldwell, Gaffney, and Troy Brown at wideout? Will they return to the power running game they didn't bother with against the Colts last time? Can the Patriots defense pull out another surprising defensive stifling of Manning & Co. with either a gimpy Rodney Harrison or his backups defending the long ball? And of course, if the contest comes down to the kicking game, who will prevail? Look for the Patriots to do mostly handoffs and play-action to their tight ends after Bob Sanders crashes the line in run support. Look for the Colts to do a lot of what they've been doing -- short gains, take what's given. Look for Addai to be especially active in the passing game. Move the chains. Rely on Vinatieri. Should be a heck of a game.

In Chicago, the Saints are coming to town with a heck of an offense. They continue to balance Deuce McAllister and Reggie Bush efficiently, while keeping their wideouts involved in the passing game. The Bears do a great job of limiting big plays, however, so the power running of McAllister will be more important than ever. Chicago tackles so well, it's hard to imagine Reggie having a big game, but if Deuce can push the pile and move the chains, the passing game will be that much easier. Chicago will probably play just as well as they did last week: Not especially effectively, but they'll probably hit a few big plays with Bernard Berrian, and the rushing tandem of Thomas Jones and Cedric Benson should help the Bears sustain some long drives while taking the pressure off of Rex Grossman. The matchup of the game will probably be the Saints linebacking crew versus the Bears running attack -- if the Saints can contain the running game and force Rex to move the offense, they'll have a much better chance of forcing turnovers and making big plays to help them win the game.

Check out the Football Outsiders comics archive and Jason's wacky Gil Thorp blog.

Before this weekend's games, however, it's time to name this season's All-Keep Choppin' Wood Team!

The All Keep Choppin' Wood Team

Bill: It's an honor to be involved in the selection process for this year's Fourth Annual All-Keep Choppin' Wood Team. Most of the other columns on this website are dedicated to celebrating statistical analysis, the beautiful history of football, and deep, intensive study of game tape. It's only here in Scramble that we get to enjoy the direness that engulfs Houston in December, permeates Ford Field in May, and bewitches Berea in July.

This team is dedicated to those players who simply do the most to hurt their teams, on and off the field. Do you hate laptops? People with laptops? At Denny's? Or, alternately, do you like guns? How about having friends over? What about having those friends mysteriously killed? Do you get distracted by holidays? Double fist? If you can answer yes to any of these questions, you are probably a member of the Chicago Bears. Somehow, this team won 13 games. Amazing.

Ian: Indeed, it's time for our Annual-All Keep Choppin' Wood Team for the season. Some players will make it in for specific actions off the field, some for season-long suckitude on the field. All earned it.


Daunte Culpepper, Miami

Ian: The season started with high hopes for Miami. Ronnie Brown looked primed for a huge season, Nick Saban had led the team to an impressive finish last season, and Daunte Culpepper was going to bring it all together. Armed with a top running back, big play receiver Chris Chambers, and veteran tight end Randy McMichael, this was an offense headed in the right direction... until we realized that Daunte pushed himself too hard too quickly and simply wasn't ready to play. His timing was off, he couldn't avoid a sack, and he couldn't hold onto the football. He tanked the Dolphins season early, and the upgrade to Joey Harrington (I can't believe I just wrote that) and the dominating season turned in by Jason Taylor couldn't help them squeeze out a wild card.

Running Back

Reuben Droughns, Cleveland; Ricky Williams, Miami

Bill: As a Loser League MVP candidate, Droughns averaged a woeful 3.4 yards per carry and had his only big day of the season against the worst run defense in football, the Jets. You can point to the chaos on the interior of the Browns offensive line affecting things as an excuse, but Droughns had a 100 yard game against the Raiders, of all people, in Week 4; his real miserable performances came between Weeks 9-15, when the line should have been settled. Cleveland would sure make a nice landing spot for Michael Turner this off-season.

Williams is almost forgotten when you think about running backs, but he would've been nifty when Ronnie Brown went down this season. He didn't exactly light up the CFL, either, averaging 4.8 yards per carry in a league where the top five running backs in the league averaged 5.53. Just for fun, those top five backs: Charles Roberts (formerly of CSU), Joffrey (sic) Reynolds (ex-University of Houston and former Rams kick returner), Robert Edwards (former Patriots first round pick who tore his knee up playing beach football during the rookie game -- the last bit of bad luck the Patrots have ever had), Troy Davis (former Iowa State star and owner of either a three, four, or six on the Wonderlick, depending upon your source), and Kenton Keith (Roger Craig's cousin).

Wide Receiver

Jerry Porter, Oakland; Randy Moss, Oakland

Bill: Let it never be said that I haven't given Chris Chambers a break. Anyway, Porter spent the first few weeks of the season suspended, expressing an entirely genuine lack of concern for his team's results, and then clamored for a trade. Once he came back into the lineup, he caught one pass in four games, suffered a hip injury, and went on injured reserve. I don't even want to tell you how much he was paid for that.

Ian: Meanwhile, his active teammate and superstar receiver Randy Moss was making a mockery of the salary he was being paid. I realize that Andrew Walter and Aaron Brooks aren't exactly top notch quarterbacks, but Moss wasn't helping much, either. He always had a reputation for taking plays off, while dominating others. He's still the same player, minus the dominating part. Dropping catchable balls and sulking are not acceptable from a player being paid as much as he is to make big plays. Let's not forget that the Oakland defense was quite frisky during the second half of the season, leaving the door open for one or two big plays a game from the offense to win. They never came.

Tight End

Doug Jolley, Not The New York Jets/Tampa Bay

Bill: If Kellen Winslow would have won this award for a third consecutive season, we would have had to name this after him. Jolley's here because of what he cost the Jets: 466 points of draft value, roughly equivalent to the 44th pick overall in the draft. Jolley lasted one season in 2005, started seven times, and was dealt this off-season to the Buccaneers. He played in eleven games and caught one pass. Meanwhile, the Jets could have stayed where they were and drafted Heath Miller.


Bob Hallen, Cleveland

Bill: Hallen had a very weird season. Expected to back up LeCharles Bentley, he was thrust into the starting role when Bentley tore his ACL (in Berea) on the first day of camp. Hallen spent a couple of weeks nursing a back injury, and then left the team two days before the first preseason game. His agent was then kind enough to send a "Dear Romeo" letter explaining that Hallen had two herniated discs and would need to retire. Rumors of "personal issues" whirled around the entire situation. Hallen hasn't surfaced since then. It's one thing to have "personal issues," of course, but another to claim a sudden back injury and disappear for an entire season. Then again, Jared Lorenzen disappeared for a season and that only made him even more fantastic.

Offensive Guard

Kendall Simmons, Pittsburgh; Floyd Womack, Seattle

Bill: Kendall Simmons is generally a pretty competent guard when he is on the field. Unfortunately, he's Smoltzian off of it. Simmons was using a cooling pad on his left foot to try and heal a minor injury when he dozed off; he awoke hours later to find his foot in the throes of frostbite. This seems like one of those "You Wouldn't Make It In Pro Football" commercials, but it actually happened.

Womack is here for something that isn't entirely his fault. Last year, Seattle was second on running up the middle; this year, they were 31st. After letting Steve Hutchinson leave for a few hundred thousand dollars (the difference between designating him as a franchise player as opposed to a transition player) and using the money to sign fifth wide receiver/punt returner Nate Burleson in what essentially ended up being an awful trade, the Seahawks replaced him with the ineffectual Womack and watched their running game go down the tubes. Now they're faced with a division growing better each year and an aging core. But, hey, at least they got that punt return problem figured out.

Offensive Tackle

Robert Gallery, Oakland; Tom Ashworth, Seattle

Bill: Now, it wasn't exactly inside information that Robert Gallery had struggled over the course of his first two seasons after The Sporting News characterized Gallery as a "risk-free choice." There was some hope, though, that the addition of Art Shell might cause Gallery's game to pick up. Shell decided that it would be wise to move Gallery up the offensive line spectrum from right to left tackle. This is like asking a girl out, having her say no, and then asking her to sleep with you. Sometimes, you just gotta take "No" for an answer. Gallery played ten games, allowing 11 sacks and racking up eight penalties. No.

Ashworth's story is similar to Womack; he replaced habitual offender Sean Locklear in the lineup and was no match. Seattle was 29th in the league at running towards right tackle, 28th to right end. A hint to teams: If Bill Belichick doesn't want them, they're probably not that good.

Defensive End

Simeon Rice, Tampa Bay; Andre Carter, Washington

Bill: Simeon Rice is a dramatically overrated defensive lineman most seasons because all he can do is rush the passer. Granted, that's an important part of a defensive lineman's skill set, but it puts him on a totally different planet of value as opposed to guys like Richard Seymour or Julius Peppers. When Rice isn't getting to the quarterback, he's pretty much useless out there. He had two sacks in half a season before he hurt his shoulder and went on IR. All that, and he only cost $9,200,000 on this year's cap! No wonder the Buccaneers are a mess. Want further proof that he's just about done? This article on AOL Sports says that the Lions are interested in trading for Rice.

The sad thing about Andre Carter is that he wasn't even Washington's worst free agent signing on his side of the ball! While Carter was able to muster six sacks, he was part of the worst defensive line in football when it comes to getting to the quarterback. Playing left end, runs against him at right tackle and right end were both safe bets; the Redskins ranked 26th at defending against both. We'll get to the other offender later.

Defensive Tackle

Tank Johnson, Chicago; Albert Haynesworth, Tennessee

Bill: The story's recent enough to stick in everyone's mind, but Johnson's been maced, arrested twice, and had two incidents at nightclubs this year, to go along with the arrest at a nightclub in 2005. The last incident ended with his "bodyguard" getting killed.

I am not one to pretend that Johnson's the only athlete who goes out to nightclubs, smokes weed, or owns a gun. Or six guns. That being said, he's clearly a mess. The solution? Get rid of his nickname. Forget Tank. Until he shows that he can go out on a Saturday night without ending up in the clink on a regular basis, he needs a pacifistic first name. He needs to be encouraged.

Tame Johnson. From now on, he's Tame Johnson.

Albert Haynesworth decided it would be a good idea to step on Andre Gurode's face during Week 3. You know, because there's not any cameras pointed at the end zone or anything. Haynesworth was suspended for six weeks and got a rep for thuggish behavior that his excellent level of play will find it very, very hard to overcome.


Odell Thurman, Cincinnati; LaVar Arrington, NY Giants; Cato June, Indianapolis

Bill: Thurman never made it on the field in 2006. Before the season, he pulled a Rio Ferdinand and didn't bother to show up for a drug test; during his suspension, he was charged with DUI while driving Chris Henry and Reggie McNeal around in McNeal's car. Friends don't let friends drive drunk especially when they are driving friends' cars, Reggie! McNeal would later end up being arrested at a Houston club for shoving a cop and smoking a cigarette laced with an antihistamine, so he might have a case to be on the KCW Scout Team.

Ian: Hopes were high when LaVar Arrington was brought in from the division rival Redskins. Finally, here was a player reminiscent of Lawrence Taylor: An intimidating, flamboyant, fly-to-the-football linebacker that could single-handedly change games. Except that never actually happened. Before getting injured for the season with a ruptured Achilles' tendon, he had a measly 16 tackles and one sack in seven games. For once, Dan Snyder did the right thing in letting someone go.

The Colts were terrible at stopping opposing running backs this season, and the terrible tackling of Cato June was a large reason why. Made famous by Maurice Jones-Drew's end zone romp in a dominating victory by Jacksonville, June was often left in the dust by a runner headed upfield.


Mike Rumph, Washington; Fred Smoot, Minnesota

Bill: In all fairness, we need to cut Mike Rumph some slack. He's been recovering from third-degree burns since his rookie season. You know how there are certain players who need to be accounted for on every play, who get their pre-snap location marked off on the telestrator and mentioned by the radio play by play guy? Rumph deserves the same treatment for the opposite reasons. He's slightly better at safety, but he is strictly Arena-fodder at this point.

You can judge whether Fred Smoot's year was better or worse. Advantages? No sex cruise. Scored a touchdown. Disadvantages? Was benched. Twice. Broke his jaw in five different places in a December car wreck. Most likely had his $47,000 game check for the final game of the season withheld. Oh, late advantage: Got paid $47,000 a week for those games he was benched, too.


Adam Archuleta, Washington; Pat Watkins, Dallas

Bill: The worst free agent-signing of the 2006 season. A bust in every single humanly possible sense of the word. The recipient of the single biggest contract ever handed to a safety, Archuleta might not remain with the team to see a $5 million roster bonus he's due in March. He was such an awful fit for the Redskins that he was replaced by a 35-year-old who had been placed on IR by the Bills earlier in the season. On the bright side, Archuleta dates Playboy's Miss 2001, who notes on her Myspace that she enjoys "... sex with my man." And hey, he probably made Mike Florio some money. Life can't be all that bad.

Meanwhile, Pat Watkins is the new Rob Pettiti. A rookie thrust into a role he was not remotely prepared for by the Dallas organization, Watkins' "exceptional 4.43 speed," as his Wikipedia page notes, was excellent for chasing down receivers who had run past him. As for fakes, well, every time Watkins sees the Budweiser horsies playing football ... he's through six or seven TVs this season alone. He's going to have to pull an Artest and get a job at Circuit City. It's not pretty. He was so bad that he managed to keep Terrence Kiel off this team, and Watkins didn't get arrested for selling souped-up cough syrup this season.


Mike Vanderjagt, Dallas

Bill: Sure, it's easy to pick on Vanderjagt. But when you get a $2.5 million bonus and make Martin Gramatica seem like a good idea twelve games later, you're not playing very well. He can theoretically go back to the CFL, but I'm guessing his me-first attitude wouldn't go over well. Prediction: He gets humbled, becomes a reformed man, and shows up five years from now in the NFL playing the Eddie Murray role. Sole basis for this prediction: Pity.


Chris Hanson, Jacksonville

Ian: Paid more than a million dollars a season to just punt the football, Hanson repaid the Jaguars by having the worst net punting yardage in the league. And let's not forget that he's the reason this whole column exists: It was he who on that fateful day seasons ago chopped his own leg with an axe in an effort to illustrate the team's motto, "Keep Choppin' Wood." Congratulations, Chris. Your efforts have truly come full circle!

FO Playoff Fantasy Draft Update

Bill: Jason is just about done. Tim and Alex are 1-2 and rooting for a New Orleans-Indianapolis Super Bowl. New England-Chicago would suit me just fine. Russell's about to lose two players regardless of what happens. Aaron's hoping New Orleans plays someone.

Readers are encouraged to figure out which reader had the best "Best of the Rest" team in the comments.

2007 Football Outsiders Playoff Fantasy Teams
  JASON 105 RUSSELL 97 TIM 151
QB Garcia, PHI 28 Brees, NO 14 Rivers, SD 7
RB Tomlinson, SD 30 Lewis, BAL 7 Westbrook, PHI 44
RB Barber, NYG 14 Jones, CHI 18 Addai, IND 21
WR Harrison, IND 6 Muhammad, CHI 3 Colston, NO 5
WR Jackson, SD 4 Horn, NO 0 Stallworth, PHI 26
WR Berrian, CHI 16 Mason, BAL 1 Branch, SEA 8
TE Smith, PHI 2 Clark, IND 14 Heap, BAL 0
K Kaeding, SD 3 Vinatieri, IND 35 Gostkowski, NE 27
DEF Philadelphia 2 San Diego 5 New England 13
  AARON 67 ALEX 132 BILL 88
QB McNair, BAL 2 Manning, IND 15 Brady, NE 35
RB Dillon, NE 10 Alexander, SEA 29 Johnson, KC 5
RB McAllister, NO 28 Bush, NO 13 Maroney, NE 6
WR Owens, DAL 2 Wayne, IND 14 Clayton, BAL 7
WR Glenn, DAL 4 Brown, PHI 14 McCardell, SD 0
WR Henderson, NO 3 Caldwell, NE 19 Burress, NYG 20
TE Gates, SD 6 Stevens, SEA 20 Watson, NE 2
K Carney, NO 9 Stover, BAL 10 Gould, CHI 11
DEF Baltimore 3 New Orleans -2 Chicago 2

Keep Choppin' Wood Award

Bill: This week's trofeo goes to the brilliant Drayton Florence. Headbutting an NFL player isn't something you see very often. Maybe Florence was trying to get Zinedine Zidane to come over to MLS with David Beckham and wanted to offer up a tribute. Maybe he forgot he was wearing a helmet. Even Haynesworth was smart enough to notice Gurode's helmet was off before he stepped on his head; Florence was a fool and did more to cost his team the game than any of Marty Schottenheimer's mistakes. He also made LaDainian Tomlinson's comments about class after the game look pretty foolish, once people went back and saw what Florence said after the Chargers beat the Patriots last year:

"[Bleep] New England and their team," suggested cornerback Drayton Florence. Florence then said to the collection of onlookers in the hallway. "Get the look of shock off your faces. Don't be shocked. We beat your [butt]."

You know, that Internet thing does have an archive, Drayton.


93 comments, Last at 23 Jan 2007, 8:10am

#1 by Pat (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 1:53pm

Archuleta might not remain with the team to see a $5 million roster bonus he’s due in March.

Archuleta's signing is worse than you think it is. That option bonus? If it's not given, 2007-2009 salaries bump up in value and become guaranteed (for a total value of slightly more than $5M).

The Redskins are giving Archuleta $5M one way or another. It's just a question of "how".

Points: 0

#2 by Fargo (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:01pm

Ok, pulled a Rio Ferdinand? I hate Wayne Routledge? For some reason, Premiership football references from an American NFL analyst are really freaking me out.

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#3 by throughthelook… (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:10pm

That's the best Jason Beattie cartoon in a long time.

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#4 by Insancipitory (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:26pm

As I understood it Ashworth was signed for depth, not to start in place of Locklear who played pretty well in 2005. Unless one thinks the plan was to not play Womack at all (Jones, Locklear, Tobeck, Gray, Ashworth), but everything in the media locally had been finally the patient, deserving, talented, and much loved friendly Porkchop was going to get his chance to show his stuff in 2006.

I might also mention that the "trade" for Burleson neglects to consider that was more a combination of irony and the Vikings demanding more compensation for him beyond the draft pick they were due. But I see there's a post-it on my monitor which says I need to laugh more and not take things too seriously. So, instead, thanks for not putting Michael Boulware on the list.

Points: 0

#5 by JonL (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:28pm

Man, that "Do you like..." string killed me (but not mysteriously)

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#6 by Skin Patrol (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:29pm

Pat is right, Archuleta will either make 5M or else 5M+ change. This makes the likelihood of his being cut significantly lower, this year.

I don't think it's fair to put Andre Carter on this list as he led the Washington Redskins in sacks and tackles for losses, and led all Defensive Linemen in tackles.

Points: 0

#7 by Skin Patrol (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:35pm

I should add...

That the Redskins were 31st against left tackle and 23rd on left end yet you didn't use that fact to demonize Phillip Daniels or, the more likely culprit, Warrick Holdman. There was a general breakdown in the Washington Redskins defense, starting at line, culminating in a horrible secondary, and finalized by a regressing linebackers unit. Carter was one of the few people who performed last year.

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#8 by SJM (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:45pm

Who was the cornerback who got cut by Green Bay? You know, the one who was replaced by Charles Woodson. The one no team would touch even though he was a first round pick. I can't remember his name but I think he has a stronger case than Rumph, who at least made some positive contributions in Washington, while allowing them to simultaneously rid themselves of that clod Taylor Jacobs.

I looked it up, Ahmad Carroll.

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#9 by PFC1 (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:53pm

How about Cory Simon (DT IND) for the All Keep Choppin' Wood award. On IR for the season for what? ARTHRITIS?!?!?!?!?

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#10 by Cowboy Realist (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:58pm

If Carter was decent feel free to replace him with Marcus Spears.

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#11 by Josh (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 2:59pm

You can judge whether Fred Smoot’s year was better or worse. Advantages? No sex cruise.

Are you suggesting a sex cruise is a bad thing??

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#12 by the K (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:06pm

Yup, I totally jinxed you Aaron. Sorry man.

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#13 by Karl Cuba (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:10pm

Wasn't Carroll picked up by Jacksonville who then dumped him after he continued his level of play?

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#14 by Gus (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:12pm

Was Carroll realy that bad? Jeez, I really had no idea.

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#15 by el plaga (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:15pm

how does brandon lloyd not make it at wide receiver?

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#16 by Ilanin (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:21pm

I'm not convinced by Culpepper over Roethlisberger for QB in the all-KCW team, but it depends how you define things. Culpepper was certainly a worse QB - Roethlisberger played above league-average (just) for a QB if you take the entire season - but the thing is Miami were never going to make the playoffs even if they'd started Harrington, whereas Pittsburgh came sufficiently close (if they beat the Raiders, they're in) you can pretty much pin the entire thing on Roethlisberger's decision-making (on and off-field versions) if you want to be unkind to him.

Oh, and "competent" is being really nice to Simmons.

Points: 0

#17 by CaffeineMan (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:30pm

Before I get to the rest of the article, I just wanted to say: Great comic!

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#18 by DrewTS (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:37pm

I think it's a good list. I'm sure there are a half-dozen more Redskins or Raiders that could have been added, but they need to vary things to keep from piling on one team.

I would say that maybe you got the wrong LB from the Colts though. Gilbert Gardner was worse.

Strangely, June was actually a Pro-Bowler last year, but this year... not so much. I can only guess that it's because of the different situations he was placed in. Much like the rest of the Colt defense, he's built for defending the pass. He's a safety in a linebacker's uniform.

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#19 by mactbone (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:44pm

Whither Chris Henry? Four arrests in six months just isn't a big deal anymore.

I would also say that Monte Reagor makes a case. He played on one of the worst run defenses in the league until he was hit by a car on the way to the game - while not wearing a seat belt.

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#20 by Andrew (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 3:51pm

Does you KCW team not return kicks and punts? Why not look to Reno Mahe to fill the void?

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#21 by dryheat (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:03pm

This is like asking a girl out, having her say no, and then asking her to sleep with you.

Or to quote Richard Pryor, "So I suppose a BJ is out of the question?"

Reggie McNeal would later end up being arrested at a Houston club for shoving a cop and smoking a cigarette laced with an antihistamine

I had no idea McNeal suffered so severely from allergies. That's awesome.

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#22 by Jim Haug (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:04pm

20- Ricardo Colclough did more as a punt returner to destroy the Steelers than Roethlisberger did. In fact, the single greatest flaw of the Steelers for the first ten games or so was the team wide inability to catch punts. Had they never put a returner back in the fourth quarter during the first half of the year, they would have cruised into the playoffs.

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#23 by Starshatterer (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:10pm

So what's the best ""Best of the Rest" FF team you could piece together, with hindsight, for the playoffs?

I'm guessing
QB Grossman, CHI (16)
RB Benson, CHI (9)
RB Faulk, NE (12)
WR Gaffney, NE (26)
WR Berrian, CHI (16)
TE Graham, NE (9)
K Brown, SEA (14)
DEF Indianapolis (18)
Total: 120

I think Pennington is worth three points more, but Grossman's still playing. Cotchery's also worth more than Berrian. No leftover kickers were still active, and we're really scraping for a RB or TE.

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#24 by Otis Taylor \'89 (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:13pm

Brandon Lloyd-22 passes for no touchdowns.
Marquise Hill, Patriots DT, 2nd Round pick in 2004, 13 Games in three years, 3 total tackles, including 0 in 4 games this year.

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#25 by MFurtek (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:15pm

Archuleta is going to stay on the 'Skins... after all he did a fine job as the... "Personal Protector" to Derrick Frost.

I'm glad he now has a huge chip on his shoulder however... I just hope that chip doesn't slow him down a ton more.

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#26 by dryheat (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:29pm

I think Archuleta joins David Boston in the "Fanatical Devotion To Making My Muscles Bigger Than My Body Can Handle Ruined My Career" Club

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#27 by Charles the Ph… (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:29pm

Wow, the Oakland Raiders are officially the most bumbling and inept front office in the league. BOTH of their wide receivers finish on the KCW 2007 team - and then the team appears to hire the wide receivers coach. Now hire Herm Edwards to be your clock specialist and PR man and you're all set!

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#28 by andrew (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:37pm

Can we have a generic special teams award as well for Tony Romo?

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#29 by mb (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:42pm

Re 16: Sure, Big Ben made a vastly stupid decision by not wearing a helmet on his motorbike, but it's tough to blame him for the appendicitis and the concussion in the Falcons game. If anything, the Steelers coaching staff could get a KCW for not taking him out when he obviously was not ready to play. He looked like he was swimming through molasses during the Raiders game and Charlie Batch is a solid backup who probably could have pulled a Damon Huard and put together a string of decent games. I do think Ron Mexico deserves some QB KCW consideration though, both for his continuation of the "I'm going to be maddeningly inconsistent throwing the ball and also surly" policy and his brilliant idea to try smuggling pot on board an airplane in a water bottle.

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#30 by mactbone (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:45pm

Re 27:
To be fair Lofton is the WR coach for the Chargers. Not that they lit it up either...

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#31 by rick (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 4:54pm

How could you leave out the K.C.W. coach ? I know Coughlin and Green will have their supporters but how about Jack Del Rio ? #6 in DVOA (only a shade from #3) but he misses the playoffs because he loses to Houston twice. He blows a game to Tennessee despite outgaining them 4-1 in yards. And he bungles away one to Buffalo with overly conservative play-calling. Keep choppin' away fool !

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#32 by Bobman (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:01pm

Starshatterer, HAH! Can you imagine anybody drafting the Indy D three weeks ago? Even the stoutest fan? Not I.

And you fools! Don't you realize that all Cato June does is win games.

His record as a starting LB is 26-6. Any other LB have a better record over the past two seasons? Plus, if he was 10 lbs heavier, he might have knocked the key INT out of Antoine Bethea's hands at the goal line last week in Balt (instead of getting concussed himself).

So all hail skinny Cato! Converted safety, former Pro-Bowler, winner.

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#33 by throughthelook… (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:11pm

"Plus, if he was 10 lbs heavier, he might have knocked the key INT out of Antoine Bethea’s hands at the goal line last week in Balt"

Isn't that Ray Lewis' shtick?

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#34 by Pat (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:11pm

#20: Oh, come on. Being generally mediocre doesn't make a candidate for KCW. Mahe wasn't even 'god-awful', and the few bad situations he was involved in were partially other people's fault (people getting shoved into him).

Of course, the funniest thing about Reno Mahe is the fact that he's actually not a bad running back, either. But for some reason, Eagles fans still hate him. Which I will never understand.

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#35 by db (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:28pm

There has to be space on this list for Herm Edwards. The man is a one of the worst coaches in the league.

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#36 by Starshatterer (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:31pm

Bobman (#32 )--

I don't know which was the bigger "HAH!", Indy's D or Jabar Flippin' Gaffney.

Tie-breaker this Sunday. :)

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#37 by Waverly (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:32pm

Instead of "Tame", how about "Thank"? As in:

Thank Johnson provides writers easy punch lines.

Points: 0

#38 by Noah of Arkadia (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:34pm

Bill, I will always remember that you didn't name Chambers your Keep Choppin Wood starting WR. Sir, I salute you!

Points: 0

#39 by Patrick Bateman (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:36pm

I have to say I'm disappointed. Where's Bob Whitfield? The man's was a SERIAL headbutter, as well as proving himself a serious butthead. He actually made Giants fans long for the King of Fasle Starts, Luke Petitgout. Whitfield, far more than Pork Chop, deserves to be on the team.

Points: 0

#40 by Dave (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:53pm

Not Tame Johnson... Tranq Johnson.

Ahhhh. I feel more relaxed just saying it.

Points: 0

#41 by Wanker79 (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 5:54pm

As for fakes, well, every time Watkins sees the Budweiser horsies playing football … he’s through six or seven TVs this season alone. He’s going to have to pull an Artest and get a job at Circuit City. It’s not pretty.


Points: 0

#42 by bill b. (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:10pm

live from the apple store in cambridge, ma!

2 - 'pologies.

4 - it wasn't a trade, per se, but it ended up appearing as such. as for pork chop, i'm sure he's a real nice guy. that doesn't mean he was any good this year.

7 - daniels and holdman didn't make anywhere near as much money as carter.

15 - randle el would have made it before lloyd.

19 - henry had 11 tds!

24 - you're REALLY stretching to find a bad patriots draft pick. he's had little to no effect on the team's performance.

28 - i dunno. sure, he hurt, but do the cowboys even get to the playoffs without romo? i doubt it.

31 - there are FAR worse coaches than del rio.

38 - thank you sir.

40 - let's not give t. johnson any encouragement.

41 - it means he got faked out a lot.

Points: 0

#43 by jebmak (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:16pm


You are assuming that Grossman will have a positive number this week. A bit optimistic don't you think?

Tranq Johnson, I really like it.

Points: 0

#44 by Kalimba (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:16pm

Kalimba Edwards was forced into a starting role after James Hall and Shaun Rogers were lost for the season and thus Corey Redding had to be moved inside.

Kalimba, who was terrible in his first few seasons in the league, had been rewarded with a $4M+/year contract this offseason by none other than the mastermind Matt Millen.

Kalimba, who could never play the run, and never showed any consistent pass rush (only really getting 'garbage sacks') proved Matt Millen to be a genius by registering a mere THREE sacks and TERRIBLE run support, all while starting 10 of the last 11 games until being benched for Corey Smith (WHO?)

Matt Millen and Kalimba Edwards, keep chopping wood.

Points: 0

#45 by Skin Patrol (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:17pm


"7 - daniels and holdman didn’t make anywhere near as much money as carter."

Daniels made over 1M more than Andre Carter last year. In 2007, Phillip Daniels will make nearly 1M more than Andre Carter.

"15 - randle el would have made it before lloyd."

Why? Because he scored more than 0 touchdowns or because he eventually took Brandon Lloyd's starting job?

Points: 0

#46 by Skin Patrol (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:17pm


"7 - daniels and holdman didn’t make anywhere near as much money as carter."

Daniels made over 1M more than Andre Carter last year. In 2007, Phillip Daniels will make nearly 1M more than Andre Carter.

"15 - randle el would have made it before lloyd."

Why? Because he scored more than 0 touchdowns or because he eventually took Brandon Lloyd's starting job?

Points: 0

#47 by Skin Patrol (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:17pm

Sorry for the double post.

Points: 0

#48 by Wanker79 (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:19pm

And I can't really kill Culpepper for coming back from an injury too soon. How about Aaron Rogers?

You're drafted 2 years ago as the heir-apparent to Brett Favre (you know, the guy that has started 257 consecutive games). You get to come into your very first game of your career that wasn't mop-up duty of a blowout. And you break your foot and get placed on IR.

For those of you keeping score at home, that makes Brett Favre 25,700% more durable than Aaron Rogers.

Points: 0

#49 by Rich Conley (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:20pm

"24 - you’re REALLY stretching to find a bad patriots draft pick. he’s had little to no effect on the team’s performance.'

He definitely has been a waste of a pick.

That being said, he plays behind some pretty impresive backups. He's listed as the 5th DE, behind Richard Seymour, Ty Warren, Jarvis Green, and Mike Wright.

Points: 0

#50 by rick (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:21pm

#42 How could anyone have gotten LESS out of Jacksonville ? 10.76 Pythagorean wins but only 8 actual. #3 DVOA defense/#12 offense and you can't knock off Houston ? What would a BAD coach have done with that team ?

Points: 0

#51 by Travis (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:48pm

I second #39's call to place Bob Whitfield on the KCW team. He was totally unprepared to step in for Petitgout, and his multiple personal fouls just made it worse.

My suggestion for coach: Nick Saban. Culpepper over Brees was possibly (in hindsight) the worst move of the offseason, the Dolphins dramatically underperformed expectations, and he left the team in the lurch despite repeatedly promising that he wasn't going anywhere.

Points: 0

#52 by Ben (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:48pm

I'm really surprised you didn't add the Lions' DLine coach Joe Cullen to the All-Keep Choppin' Wood team. Being arrested for driving nude is always an easy target for jokes.

Points: 0

#53 by Pat (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:49pm

#45: Didn't Randle El have a mind-blowingly stupid mistake earlier in the year, though? Or was that last year with the Steelers?

Points: 0

#54 by Devin McCullen (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 6:57pm

I just discovered this today, but I thought I'd bring it up.

I know nobody has a need to pay attention to crappy fantasy defenses, so it may have been overlooked - Washington's defense was truly godawful this year. In my league, the season totals go like this:

1. Baltimore 240
2. Chicago 205
3. New England 165
30. Tampa Bay 102
31. Indianapolis 90
32. Washington 55

Other teams gave up more points, but they only had 19 sacks, 6 fumble recoveries (which wasn't quite the lowest) and 6 interceptions (which was). Anybody know if they qualify as historically bad in fantasy terms? I'm morbidly curious.

Points: 0

#55 by Skin Patrol (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 7:12pm


Sometimes he dances too often on returns but he breaks enough of them to be forgiven. I can't recognize any glaring mistakes but one, so I think you're probably remembering mistakes from Pittsburgh.

The one mistake he made, which was one of the most embarrassing set of plays this year for the Redskins, was against Indy. After a very nice punt return touchdown he celebrates by running into the goal post and falling down, drawing a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Now kicking from the 15, Sean Taylor goes offsides on the ensuing kickoff moving us 5 yards back. (punter) Derrick Frost is now kicking from the 10 yard line, but takes his helmet off on the field and draws an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. Finally Joe Gibbs sends in Nick Novak to kickoff from the 5 yard line.

Relative to Brandon Lloyd this is basically harmless. At the very least, when Randle-El farts up he does so after actually, you know, doing something. Brandon Lloyd lost his starting job in a game against Atlanta when he inexplicably threw his helmet into the ground on an intercepted pass (intended for Randle-El, incidentally), leading to an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

Points: 0

#56 by rick (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 7:13pm

#51- Why not make Saban KCW GM for the Sex-boat QB over Brees decision ? It may be the worst free agent decision EVER in the NFL.
#42- Jacksonville needs discipline and all clocks set back 5 minutes.

Points: 0

#57 by Dan R. (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 7:56pm

I pooped a little when I saw the "arist's rendering" of Pats kicker Stephen Gostonowksi.

Points: 0

#58 by Harris (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 7:57pm

Scott Young doesn't even get a look for committing a false start penalty that negated the Eagles' 4th-and-10 conversion and likely kept them from kicking a game-tying football? Andy Reid doesn't get a look for punting inside of 2 minutes on 4th-and-15 when his only real chance to win was, an admittedly unlikely, 4th down conversion?

Points: 0

#59 by Bill Barnwell // Jan 18, 2007 - 8:04pm

#42/43 - Carter has a 32.5m contract. Daniels has a 9.4m contract. Yes, Daniels' cap value is more.

As for Randle El/Lloyd, Randle El was expected to do more and offered mediocrity on punt returns.

Points: 0

#60 by Pat (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 8:19pm

Andy Reid doesn’t get a look for punting inside of 2 minutes on 4th-and-15 when his only real chance to win was, an admittedly unlikely, 4th down conversion?

Eh. When you take the chances of your team from "super slim" to "even more super slim", it's not really that bad. It looks bad, but it's similar to criticizing the Giants for not just letting Westbrook score in the NYG/PHI game last week. Yes, in hindsight, that was the only way that the Giants had to stay in the game... but c'mon. Their chances blew either way.

Points: 0

#61 by Aaron Boden (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 8:23pm

Just a note on the Ricky williams entry. The Colts have signed Kenton Keith, one of the 5 backs with a better YPC average. This sucks for my beloved Saskatchewan Roughriders, as he was the man on offense. Ricky williams will get another chance to duel it out with him next season (assuming Kenton makes the team of course)

Points: 0

#62 by Insancipitory (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 8:48pm

42, the point is if Ashworth wasn't expected to start, is he really the back-up RT most entrenched in the in the NFL woodpile? Since his starting seems to presume that Womack doesn't start, either because Ashworth plays LG or Locklear does. I'm not saying anyone on the Seahawks line played great this year. That'd be pretty hard to defend. I can't even dispute that Womack deserves to be on this list. He'd played well in replacing Hutchison before, and was expected to again. But it seems kind of random to pick a backup RT who was pressed into starting because he once was a starter and now he's not.

Points: 0

#63 by Bill Barnwell // Jan 18, 2007 - 9:15pm

It was a pretty good year for tackles, 62.

Points: 0

#64 by Hopeless Lions Fan (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 9:30pm

No Millen on this list anywhere? Are you just numb to his work for the Lions at this point?

I know the Lions are the same as every other team that won't win the SB this year, of course, MM told me so.

Points: 0

#65 by Skins Fan (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 9:33pm

I'd like cast my lot for Jim Mora Jr. as the KCW coach. Behind the Jags, Atlanta was the most inconsistent team this year, always a mark of bad coaching. Plus, his teams have lead the NFL in rushing the last two years behind a line coached by Alex Gibbs, they have a great tight end, and a quarterback and defense that are at least average. The result? 8-8 and 7-9 seasons, a quarterback that uses his coaching staff as a door mat despite needing some obvious help with his game, and absolutely no direction for this team. I mean really, the Falcons lost to the Panthers with their playoff hopes on the line, where the mighty Chris Weinke won his first game in 17 starts despite going 4-7 for 32 yards.

Then there's the issue when he said his dream job would be to coach the University of Washington on the radio WHILE HIS TEAM IS STILL FIGHTING TO MAKE IT TO THE PLAYOFFS!

Notice how no one has interviewed him yet for a head-coaching job despite the lack of head-coaching candidates this year? Probably not a coincidence...

Points: 0

#66 by Duff Soviet Union (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 10:03pm

#41, there's a famous story about Ron Artest who got a job at Best Buy (not Circuit City, Bill. For shame) so he could get the employee discount. This was despite the fact that he was an NBA player earning millions. God bless Ron Artest.

Points: 0

#67 by Harris (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 10:18pm

Re: #60

I dunno, Pat. It seemed pretty obvious at the time that as unlikely as converting 4th-and-15 was, it was more likely than that the defense could, for what would have been only the second time in that game, force the Saints to go 3-and-out. Nobody would have thought they could have converted 4th-and-26 either and look how that worked out.

Points: 0

#68 by Pat (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 10:50pm

The decision to punt on 4th and 15 looks terrible because we know how it turned out. It's easy to come up with a bajillion reasons - oh, the defense was tired, they hadn't stopped the Saints all night, yadda yadda. Yeah. I get it.

Still, it wasn't that bad. The Saints were driving right down Philly's throat, and Philly gained a grand total of zero yards on those three plays and the previous drive. It's doubtful that Philly would've gotten a touchdown, and most likely, they would've had to kick a field goal. With time still left on the clock.

If we didn't stop New Orleans on the drive where they punted, they wouldn't've stopped them then, either.

It really, really wasn't that big a deal. It looks awful in hindsight, but with the way that New Orleans was just banging right through the defense at that point, it really didn't matter.

If you want to use the point that Philly's defense couldn't stop New Orleans's offense, you kinda have to note that Philly's offense hadn't moved at all since four minutes into the fourth quarter.

Which means, honestly, they were probably better off punting and hoping for a strip fumble.

Points: 0

#69 by Stravinsky (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 10:56pm

What no Texans?? The team passed on Vince Young, who's tougher than Chuck Norris, because they had David Carr and he stunk so bad the team was reduced to running an offense from the 1920's by the end of the season. Then they pass on Reggie Bush because they had Dominick Davis and he never makes it of IR leaving the team begging for a running game until Kubiak started using the Wisconsin offense for Dayne. And they guy they did draft, Mario Williams, while solid, did nothing to show why he was the first pick.

Points: 0

#70 by Bill Barnwell // Jan 18, 2007 - 10:58pm

#66 -

"But Ron never really left Queensbridge behind. As a Bulls rookie, he funneled money to his people until he was nearly broke (The Mag assembled them all for a July 10, 2000, Total Access), then applied for a job at a Chicagoland Circuit City for the camaraderie and employee discount. "

Points: 0

#71 by Mr Shush (not verified) // Jan 18, 2007 - 11:28pm

As a Texans fan, I always find it funny the way people single out offensive players for criticism. The offense was, according to DVOA, above average for the first half of the season, and bad but not terrible in the second half once RT Zach Wiegert went down. The defense was awful throughout, despite second half improvement, and a year ago was historically atrocious, while the offense was merely poor. The worst player on the Texans is the worst safety in the league, FS CC Brown. The most overpaid player on the Texans is either useless OLB Morlon Greenwood or perennially injured OLB Kailee Wong. Carr is not a great quarterback, but neither he nor the Houston offense is horrible. The defense, with the exception of Ryans, Robinson and the DEs, really is.

Points: 0

#72 by kyle (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 3:25am

i just wanted to relive my comment on the "giants sign arrington thread":

"that’s foolish, especially at that price. this draft is so incredibly deep at OLB, they could have filled one of their other needs on defense in round one and still picked up a good young LB in the second or even third round. instead, they’ve got an overpriced, aging problem player with injury issues. arrington is even more of a question mark than a rookie; if you are going to go after aging players in FA, then you should at least acquire known commodities.

all the new defensive starters in ny smacks of the situation with the viking defense last year. in the preseason, everyone was picking them as a superbowl sleeper because of a ‘revived’ defense that really wasn’t much better than the previous year, statistically. i suspect much the same from the giants D this year. "


well, that's my one correct call for the year.

Points: 0

#73 by Kami (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 3:57am

Adam Archuleta's girlfriend's myspace says she's into "ARSTROLOGY."

So is that a typo or not?

Points: 0

#74 by DGL (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 11:07am

#68: Actually, even with all the statistics involved (see the end of the game open discussion thread if you want to relive it), what gets me about Reid's decision to punt on fourth and 15 was that he didn't punt on fourth and 10. Wait - you thought your chances of getting ten yards on fourth down were better than punting and trying for a 3-and-out, but that extra five yards, well, that's not gonna happen? And you just made the ten yards. The mind reels.

Points: 0

#75 by Skin Patrol (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 11:09am


Andre Carter may have a considerably larger contract, but he also has more time to earn it. In terms of earning his pay in 2006, he did that and then some especially relative to his teammates on the offensive line. There's plenty of blame to go around on the Redskins defense, but Andre Carter isn't one of the people who should be singled out for poor play. He was abnormally productive on a dismal defense.

I wasn't saying that Randle-El was an excellent receiver, I was saying he was better than Brandon Lloyd. He was more productive statistically and he took the former's starting job. Brandon Lloyd is cancerous in the locker room as well and fights with coaches. There's little question that Lloyd has done more damage and is far more deserving of criticism for what he's done, negatively, to the Redskins.

But why did you or anyone else expect Randle-El to do "more"? He had a punt return touchdown (more than he had as recently as 2004 on more returns) which ties him for 2nd in the league. He averaged 8.8 yards per return (again, higher than he had in 2004). 2005 was a good year for Randle-El, but not so good to drastically eclipse a very respectable 2006. 1.4 YPR and an additional touchdown (on more returns) on a completely new team that has been ranked (on special teams) lower than his former team the past three years does not consitute an embarrassing year. Antwaan Randle-El did exactly what this fan expected of him.

I am suggesting your expectations were unreasonably high.

Points: 0

#76 by Skin Patrol (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 11:11am

The above "offensive line" should read "defensive line"

Points: 0

#77 by Chris (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 1:30pm

Matt Millen?????

I honestly think Mike Rumph is the worst player in the league. Is he just jogging, or is he that slow? It's like the guy plays at half speed.

How come when Daunte fumblepepper stunk this year, everybody gave him the excuse of " he was injured". Every time somebody comes back and they stink, people always defend them by saying they were still hurt. You can only blame your leg so much for throwing into double coverage or fumbling the ball out of your hands.

Points: 0

#78 by Pat (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 1:46pm

#74: Eh. Believe it or not, I thought that 5 yards made a bit of difference. From the 50 yard line, punts have a not-insignifcant chance to net you very little field position if it goes into the end zone. From the 40, much harder to have it end up a touchback. (Yes, it was only 5, but it's pretty close). No one really mentions the fact that Johnson's punt really really sucked there, too.

Points: 0

#79 by DGL (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 2:37pm

#78: Actually, Johnson's punt was 39 yards with no return, which is a 4 yard better net than his 2006 average net. The punt itself may have been ugly, but the result was better than average.

And so what if the punt goes into the end zone (which would have required, on fourth and ten, a 56-yard punt, approaching Johnson's season-long of 60 yards)? It's not like NO's playcalling is going to be any different if they're playing from their 10 (or even their 5) or their 20 - you're going to see Duece three straight times, and you're either going to stop him or you're not.

The best possible outcome of PHI punting, whether it's 4-10 or 4-15, is that Johnson booms a perfect kick that rolls out of bounds at the ten, PHI stuffs NO on three straight plays, and then NO tries to directionally punt away from Westbrook and it goes out of bounds at the NO 45 or so. Which is about where PHI would have the ball if they went for it on 4-15 and made it -- but with about :50 left, instead of about 1:50 left.

Plus, if you go for it and fail, you can still hope for a three-and-out. Granted, you'd get the ball back at your own 10 to 20, but you'd get the ball back. If you punt, try for the three-and-out, and fail, the game is over.

So the best case if you punt and succeed is worse (less time on the clock, same field position) than the best case if you go for it and succeed.

The worst case if you punt and fail (game over) is worse than the worst case if you go for it and fail (you get the ball back with lousy field position).

And the chance of the best case happening on a punt (perfect Johnson punt, no yards for the NO offense, so-so Weatherford punt) seems a whole lot less likely than the chance of converting a 4-15.

To quote TMQ, Why are you punting?

Points: 0

#80 by Rich Conley (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 3:14pm

"The one mistake he made, which was one of the most embarrassing set of plays this year for the Redskins, was against Indy. After a very nice punt return touchdown he celebrates by running into the goal post and falling down, drawing a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty."

I really didnt think that should have been a penalty. There were far worse celebrations that didnt get called.

An entire team carrying around a player in the endzone isnt excessive celebration, but someone running into a goal post is.

Points: 0

#81 by Rick "32_Foots… (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 4:02pm

You know, I'm going to throw out a semi-defense of Cato June.

If there's anything regular Scramble fans can appreciate, it's a player who doesn't help his team win, but does his damnedest to help fantasy teams win. And if you play in a league that drafts individual defenders instead of team defenses, Cato June does that quite well.

He gets credited for tons of tackles, which is by far the most important stat for a linebacker in an indy D league. I don't quite get how, given that he seems to never be able to hold onto a tackle, but he gets credited for having a hand in a ton of defensive plays for Indy.

Cato June - he might be a turnstile, but he helps my fantasy team every year.

Points: 0

#82 by Pat (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 5:43pm

#78: Actually, Johnson’s punt was 39 yards with no return, which is a 4 yard better net than his 2006 average net. The punt itself may have been ugly, but the result was better than average.

Punting from your own 40 isn't an average punt. You don't expect a return - the field's compressed. Punt the ball 50 yards, and the hangtime doesn't really matter. That's one of the cases where you hit a booming punt, and hope it doesn't go in the end zone.

It’s not like NO’s playcalling is going to be any different if they’re playing from their 10 (or even their 5) or their 20 - you’re going to see Duece three straight times, and you’re either going to stop him or you’re not.

Um. But if you stop them on the 10, their punt puts you right in field goal position. In a sense, Reid was conceding that they couldn't get the first down, and maximizing the best case afterwards. This seems odd, considering they just made the previous first down on the aborted play. But 1) I don't buy that everyone on the Saints was playing hard. They hear a whistle, and they stop, and 2) that was the only play of the previous 6 that could be considered a success.

So the best case if you punt and succeed is worse (less time on the clock, same field position) than the best case if you go for it and succeed.

Not necessarily. It's reasonable to believe with a good punt, a stop, and good return on the ensuing punt, that their field position will be better, not worse, than the NO 46.

You're also ignoring the possibility of a turnover or a TD on the ensuing punt return.

The worst case if you punt and fail (game over) is worse than the worst case if you go for it and fail (you get the ball back with lousy field position).

The worst case if you go for it and fail is game over as well - NO runs out the clock, which they did.

Points: 0

#83 by Zac (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 6:57pm

I'm going to use the fantasy league update to talk about my fantasy league.

My team has 244 points, with Drew Brees, Deuce McAllister, Muhsin Muhammad, and Robbie Gould still playing.

The leader has 246 points, with Tom Brady, Reche Caldwell, Reggie Wayne, and Ben Watson remaining.

Obviously, if New England had lost last week, I'd say I have it in the bag. If New England loses this week, I still think I pull it out. But if New England goes to the Super Bowl, I don't think I can outscore him.

We're way ahead of anyone else. 3rd place has 187 points and Rex Grossman, Corey Dillon, and Marques Colston remaining.

Does my breakdown seem about right (good shape if New England loses, in trouble otherwise)?

Points: 0

#84 by Chris (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 7:29pm


The Redskins should have just been penalized as a team this year for stinking so bad and wasting their money. Give every bum award to that whole Redskind defense minus Sean Taylor and Marcus Washington.

Their season was over when... Week 8? Actually, if you want to get technical, the Redskins season was over before it began.

Points: 0

#85 by Grouchy Bills Fan (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 7:44pm

That sucks. Not only did the Bills stink this year, they stunk in a boring way. None of them even made the KCW team.

Points: 0

#86 by Noah of Arkadia (not verified) // Jan 19, 2007 - 10:05pm

Oh no, 48, I don't want to judge Culpepper's future or past, but he was the QB that gave his team the worst chance to succeed I have ever seen in my life. A bad knee wouldn't do that to many people. I think Culpepper was a Choppin' Wood bad ass, and I'm glad somebody gave him credit for that.

Points: 0

#87 by Theo (not verified) // Jan 20, 2007 - 7:46pm

Jolley’s here because of what he cost the Jets: 466 points of draft value

Talk normal.

Points: 0

#88 by Sid (not verified) // Jan 22, 2007 - 3:43am

RE: 23

How about Rhodes at RB over Faulk?

Points: 0

#89 by Dids (not verified) // Jan 22, 2007 - 1:26pm

Womack was hurt most of the year, and the team actually ran the ball MUCH better once he got back and Chris Spencer (who in his time at guard was horrrrrrrrible) wasn't starting. Blaming Womack (and Ashworth) just kinda betrays your understanding of the 'Hawks line woes.

Points: 0

#90 by hrudey (not verified) // Jan 22, 2007 - 3:40pm

63: If you really want an alternative at tackle, allow me to suggest Khalif Barnes, who got pulled over for a DUI. Granted, it's not Bengals-level bad, but it's certainly worthy of disdain.

Points: 0

#91 by Mac (not verified) // Jan 23, 2007 - 12:43am

By the way, Charles Roberts did not attend CSU (Colorado State University); he attended CSUS (California State Universtity Sacramento, or Sac State). CSUS is a pitiful excuse for a program, but Roberts (and Otis Amey's TD punt return for the Niners in 05) are worth some recognition.

Points: 0

#92 by richabbs (not verified) // Jan 23, 2007 - 1:29am

Wow! Not one mention of TO. Wasn't Dallas suppose to represent the NFC in the Super Bowl? Sure, Romo bumbled the snap, but Owen's off-the-field antics and on-the-field dropped passes were a major factor in the "McNabb-less" Eagles stealing the NFC East. And, hell, he caused so much constipation for Parcells that the Tuna had to call it quits or risk self-implosion. That should at least get him "Honorable Mention" on this year's KCW team.

Points: 0

#93 by Insancipitory (not verified) // Jan 23, 2007 - 8:10am

92, I obviously only speak for myself; but, at this point, any omission of TO is both merciful and appreciated.

Points: 0

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