Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team
Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team
Photo: USA Today Sports Images

by Vince Verhei and Ben Riley

Yes, it's time again for the annual All-Keep Choppin' Wood team. Since this column is roughly as long as footnote 110 to David Foster Wallace's novel Infinite Jest, let's get right to it.

Quarterback: J.T. O'Sullivan, SF
We're tempted to go with Dan Orlovsky here just for the "free cannoli" safety he gave up to the Vikings in Week 6, but he actually finished up around league average as a passer. O'Sullivan was last in DYAR by a significant margin, and this came after Mike Martz suggested O'Sullivan could be the best passer Martz had ever coached. He was wrong.

Running Back: Chris Perry, CIN; Tim Hightower, ARI
In a normal year, Hightower (next to last in both DYAR and DVOA) would be something to celebrate. But this is no ordinary year. This is the year of Chris Perry, whose stat line reads like something you'd get on Madden after downing a fifth of vodka. -139 DYAR! -39.5% DVOA! 29% success rate! 2.6 yards per carry! And to top it off, Perry was also last among running backs in receiving DYAR with -79! Sadly, Perry was benched for Cedric Benson a third of the way through the season, so we never got to see the depths to which Perry could have sunk. When it was over, Perry's impact on the DVOA era rang loud and sour:

  • Third-worst success rate (Worst: Kevan Barlow, 25%, 2005)
  • Tied for third-worst receiving DVOA by a running back (Worst: Adrian Murrell, -93, 1997)
  • Third-worst combined rushing and receiving DYAR by a running back (Worst: Jonathan Wells, -230, 2002)
  • Second-worst (by the slimmest of margins) DVOA, minimum 100 carries (Worst: Lamar Smith, -39.7%, 1998)

Can there be any doubt about the KCW MVP?

Wide Receiver: Braylon Edwards, CLE; Jerry Porter, JAC; Justin McCareins, TEN
Edwards was supposed to lead the Browns back to the playoffs. Instead, he led the league in dropped passes and total incompletions. Jerry Porter: $10 million, 11 catches. A poor investment, that. McCareins finished last in the league in DYAR, and was just one target behind Justin Gage for the team lead. If he had been just average, the Titans may have overcome the mistakes they made against Baltimore and gone on to the Super Bowl.

Tight end: L.J. Smith, PHI
Smith wasn't the worst tight end in the league -- seven tight ends posted worse DYAR totals, including Buffalo's Robert Royal and a pair of Bengals -- but none of those players took up a chunk of the salary cap like Smith did. The Eagles franchised Smith. Franchised! They paid him a top-5 salary and got a bottom-10 performance. Here be the wood, and here it is chopped.

Left tackle: Kwame Harris, OAK
The Raiders were actually pretty good running to Harris' side -- sixth in runs to left end, ninth in runs to left tackle -- but we can't ignore Harris' 15 penalties and 7.5 sacks allowed. He committed 11 false starts in only 11 games started. That's bad.

Left guard: Jacob Bell, STL
Rams were 23rd rushing to left tackle and 25th up the middle. Bell committed five penalties and allowed 2.5 sacks.

Center: Jake Grove, OAK
Penalty and sack numbers for centers all look pretty similar. Grove's three penalties and 2.5 sacks allowed don't really jump out at you -- until you realize he started only 12 games. The Raiders were also 30th in rushing up the middle.

Right guard: Richie Incognito, STL
As noted, the Rams were 25th at rushing up the middle. They were fourth in rushing to right tackle, but that can't overcome Incognito's individual numbers -- 11 penalties, 6.5 sacks allowed.

Right tackle: Willie Colon, PIT
This is likely the first time a lineman on the All-KCW team will play in the Super Bowl, but Colon's appearance is well-justified. The Steelers were dead last in runs to right tackle, 19th to right end. Colon committed 11 penalties and allowed 5.5 sacks. Other candidates include Alex Barron (nine penalties, 7.5 sacks allowed) and Jeremy Trueblood (ten penalties, six sacks allowed).

Defensive end: Turk McBride, KC; Tamba Hali, KC
The Chiefs surely expected that the effectiveness of their pass rush would diminish after trading Jared Allen and His Incredible Growing Mullet to the Vikings. What they did not expect, however, was setting the ignominious record for fewest sacks ever recorded in a 16-game season: a whopping total of 10 (!). Not only is that three fewer than the previous record holder, the 1981 Baltimore Colts, it's also one sack less than the strike-shortened record set by the Indianapolis Colts in 1982 -- thus begging the question: just how bad was the Colts' defensive line in the early years of the Reagan Presidency?

Well, not as bad as the Chiefs in the final year of the Bush Era. Tamba Hali was invisible, whether lining up on the left or right side -- Herm Edwards liked to move him around at random -- and Turk McBride was just as ineffective before going on Injured Reserve. It'll be interesting what new Chiefs Czar Scott Pioli decides to do with these apparent first- and third-round busts.

Defensive tackle: Cory Redding, DET; Tommy Kelly, OAK
You could nominate virtually the entire Lions lineup for the All-KCW team (with the exception of Megatron, of course) but Detroit's defensive line was particularly inept, giving up a league-worst 5.38 yards per carry to opposing running backs. While the loss of Shaun Rogers certainly hurt, Cory Redding continued his ongoing quest to play the role of the "Invisible Man" in the forthcoming Disney remake. It may be worth reminding you at this point that Redding is the highest paid defensive tackle in the NFL. (Cue Matt Millen joke No. 9,792.)

Not to be outdone by Detroit's finest GM, during the 2007 offseason Al Davis decided to get involved in the "Who Can Overpay More For a Washed Up DT?" Sweepstakes by signing heretofore ineffective Tommy Kelly to a five-year contract with $18.25 million guaranteed money. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Kelly remained ineffective. As an added bonus, he also managed to get himself arrested for driving under the influence in September. No word yet as to whether raiderjoe was in the passenger seat.

Linebacker: Ernie Sims, DET; Cato June, TB; Vernon Gholston, NYJ
Matt Millen made Ernie Sims the ninth overall pick in the 2006 draft, apparently under the misconception that he was a wide receiver. (Look, the window for Millen jokes is rapidly closing -- cut us some slack.) Sims played poorly last year and pretty much eviscerated his billing as "the next Derrick Brooks," but perhaps our new favorite head coach Jim Schwartz can get him back on the right track.

As for Cato June, here is what Bill Barnwell wrote in last year's All-KCW team: "In a year with a relatively innocuous group of linebackers, June's DUI charge in November made him the somewhat unfairly-named linebacker in this group. He actually had a fine year on the field." This year, June managed to avoid any additional arrests (no mean feat under a Gruden-coached team -- Hey-O!), but he did not have a fine year on the field at all.

It would be too easy to make some sort of lame "Just take out the L and you have Ghost-on!" joke here, so instead we'll just list the numbers for the sixth-overall pick in last year's draft: Zero Sacks. Zero forced fumbles. Zero interceptions. Thirteen tackles (five solo). Do you think it's safe to say the transition to outside linebacker in a 3-4 defense is not working well for this former defensive end?

Cornerback: DeAngelo Hall, OAK/WAS; Lito Sheppard, PHI/Bench; Kelly Jennings, SEA/Hole in Zone; Leigh Bodden, DET/Broken Hearts of FO Staff; Pacman Jones, DAL/Spearmint Rhino
What a horrific year for cornerbacks -- which is to say, what a great year for KCW cornerbacks! You have 1) DeAngelo Hall, who managed to pocket $8 million for his eight games with the Raiders before he was cut (and ended up wasting space on the Redskins to end the season); 2) Sheppard, who whined about the Eagles signing of Asante Samuel in the offseason and ended up being demoted to fourth-string defensive back; 3) Seahawks first-round draft pick Jennings, who lost his starting job to munchkin Josh Wilson and gave up more yards per target than any other corner in the league; 4) former -- and we can't emphasize the former enough -- FO-favorite Leigh Bodden, who played like garbage as Shaun Rogers tore through offensive lines for Cleveland; and 5) Pacman Jones, who remained Pacman Jones. They all deserve to make the All-KCW team and so all they shall -- call it our "Five Crappy DB" defense or something.

Safety: Brian Russell, SEA (free); Marquand Manuel, DEN (strong)
We've run out of unique ways of mocking Brian Russell, free safety for the Seahawks. Not so for Brian Russell, sculptor from Tennessee: Dude, your stuff is totally Chihuly-derivative, plus you sound like a total douche when you say things like "I create works that will live harmoniously in the world as independent functionaries of society ... I want people to use my sculpture as an excuse to mentally shift to another level of consciousness, above the daily hubbub, even for a moment, and to reconnect with themselves via that primal, emotional, cortex-controlled spasm of an encounter with an unexpected oasis in a visual desert." Whatever. Try reconnecting yourself with the cortex-controlled spasm of a Brian Russell arm tackle.

As for Marquand Manuel, he couldn't hack it as a safety for the (Brian Russell-led) Seahawks, and it turns out Denver's mountain air didn't fix the problem.

Kicker: Nick Novak and Connor Barth, KC
No, they're not a mid-'70s streetwise TV cop duo, they're a pair of incompetent kickers who chipped in Razzie-worthy performances for the Chiefs. Novak started the year as the kicker, but was just 6-of-10 on field-goal attempts and was let go after missing a pair of kicks against Tennessee in Week 7. In stepped Barth, who was an upgrade in field goals (going 10-of-12 on the year), but a complete disaster on kickoffs. His 58.6-yard average was dead last among anyone with more than 10 kickoffs, and nearly 10 yards worse than league leader Josh Brown's 68.1-yard average. Add it all up, and Kansas City finished next to last in kicking for points this year, and dead last in kickoffs.

Punter: Ryan Plackemeier, WAS
The worst punting team by our numbers was Minnesota, but that has more to do with poor punt coverage and four touchdowns allowed on returns than it does with Chris Kluwe. Washington was the next worst team in punting, and Plackemeier ranked 31st in gross average, and among players with at least 32 punts, only San Francisco's Andy Lee had a worse ratio of touchbacks to punts downed inside the 20.

Kick returner: Brandon Middleton, DET
The Lions had the worst kickoff return team in the league, largely because their defense kept giving up scores, which meant the lousy return team had to take the field over and over again. Aveion Cason averaged just 23.3 yards per return and fumbled once, but that's still better than Middleton, who averaged only 22.2 yards per return and fumbled three times. Each man managed just one return of 40 yards or more -- and even there, Cason edges Middleton, 46 to 42.

Punt returner: Keiwan Ratliff, IND
We'd like to list Adam Jones here with his 4.5-yard average and pair of fumbles, but we can't ignore the contributions of Ratliff, who averaged 5.6 yards per return, none over 20 yards, and fumbled four times -- in only 16 returns. A punt returner who fumbles 25 percent of the balls he gets his hands on is the definition of choppin' wood.

Head coach: Brad Childress, MIN
In a year that has seen so many head coaches fired already, it may seem odd to give the KCW coaching award to someone who still has his job, and even managed to get his team into the playoffs. Unless you're a Vikings fan, that is. It would be impossible in the space of one Scramble column to summarize the many, many frustrating decisions "Chilly" made throughout the year, such as his penchant for leaving Adrian Peterson on the bench in key situations, or his on-again, off-again love affair with Tarvaris Jackson. So instead, relish this choice description of the final seconds of the Vikings' Week 17 contest against the Giants, with Minnesota trailing by two points (courtesy Jim Souhan of the Minneapolis-St.Paul Star Tribune):

Childress feared leaving the Giants time for their own last-minute drive, so instead of running a no-huddle offense, he moved methodically. With 36 seconds remaining and the ball on the Giants 30, Adrian Peterson, who would win the NFL rushing title, took a handoff and unadvisedly tried to veer to the outside, losing 2 yards.

Time passed. And passed. And passed. That play ended with 29 seconds remaining. The Vikings held one timeout. Childress seemed to freeze as special teams coach Paul Ferraro and running backs coach Eric Bienemy gestured angrily at one another, and defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier put his hand on Childress' back, as if to urge him to action.

Jackson gazed at the sideline for the next play, and Childress finally called his last timeout with nine seconds remaining, erasing any realistic chance of running a productive play.

Based on this, commenter "jimm" would later ask (with sincerity) if Childress is "mentally challenged." We think so, jimm, and that's why he's the KCW Coach of the Year.

Check out the Football Outsiders comics archive and Jason's wacky Gil Thorp blog.

Keep Choppin' Wood (this week)

Down 16-7 in the fourth quarter of the AFC Championship game, Baltimore scored to make it 16-14, then forced a quick three-and-out, with a Terrell Suggs third-down sack forcing a punt. Jim Leonhard returned the punt to Baltimore's 39-yard line, leaving the Ravens only two or three first downs away from attempting a go-ahead field goal. But there was laundry on the field. Turns out that Daren Stone and one of the Steelers on punt coverage ended up five yards out of bounds on the play, and it was there, five yards out of bounds, that Stone grabbed said Steeler, spun him around, and threw him to the ground. The penalty put the ball at the 14, costing the Ravens 25 yards of field position. They would get one first down before Joe Flacco threw a pick-six to Troy Polamalu, ending the Baltimore season.

Stone suffered a concussion on the game's opening kickoff; perhaps he was still feeling the effects when he committed his foul. Quintin Demps has no such excuse. With 1:31 to go in the first half of the NFC title tilt, Kurt Warner hit Anquan Boldin for an innocuous 5-yard gain. Long after the ball was in the air, Demps came running up from behind Warner, passed him, and then changed direction to give him a shoulder charge. Fifteen yards, automatic first down. The Cardinals went on to kick a field goal on the drive.

Colbert Award

No obvious choice this week. John Harbaugh challenged his team to convert on a few fourth downs, but abandoned the innovative play-calling that brung the Ravens to the dance in the first place. So, almost by default, the award this week goes to Ken Whisenhunt for refusing to go "pass-wacky" (as TMQ would say) during the Cardinals' game-winning fourth-quarter drive. He repeatedly called for power runs in short-yardage situations. It's hard to resist the siren call of Larry "Lowercase god" Fitzgerald, but it was the right move.

Playoff Fantasy Update

Hopefully the Super Bowl will be more dramatic than this contest.

FO Playoff Fantasy Standings
Rank Player Points Players remaining
1 Bill Barnwell 200 K.Warner, N.Rackers
2t Ned Macey 135 L.Fitzgerald, H.Ward, PIT D
2t Aaron Schatz 135 none
4 Doug Farrar 113 none
5 Jason Beattie 91 none
6 Vince Verhei 84 A.Boldin, H.Miller

The only way Bill Barnwell loses this thing is if Kurt Warner gets knocked out in the first series, then Larry Fitzgerald and Hines Ward combine for 300 yards and six touchdowns. A better question is this: Can Fitzgerald by himself outscore Vince's entire roster? It's pretty likely; 80 yards and one touchdown would do it, assuming Anquan Boldin and Heath Miller are shut out.

In BotR competition, two teams are within screaming distance of Barnwell: Superbears (147 points, Ben Roethlisberger and Nate Washington remaining) and BigCheese (142 points, Willie Parker and Washington remaining).


60 comments, Last at 01 Sep 2010, 8:58am

1 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

No obvious choice this week. Jim Harbaugh challenged his team to convert on a few fourth downs, but abandoned the innovative play-calling that brung the Ravens to the dance in the first place.

Jim's brother didn't do such a hot job, either...

3 Demps Cheap Shot

The Demps penalty was so weird that I assumed he thought (perhaps mistakenly) he had been given orders (either from a coach or defensive captain) to do it. It's still hard to imagine 1) a guy being that boneheaded, and 2) the coach not pulling him after doing something that boneheaded.

5 Re: Demps Cheap Shot

In reply to by mawbrew

I got the impression he was instructed to do it by somebody on the sideline, which is why he wasn't benched for it. Had he been benched it would have come out immediately.

He should have been ejected, but where was the Arizona O-line? Somebody should've whooped his ass for the hit.

10 Re: Demps Cheap Shot

If they saw that Warner was OK (and if I recall correctly, he got up right away), there's no sense retaliating for the hit and giving away the free 15 yards.

57 Re: Demps Cheap Shot

The receivers did a pretty thorough job of whooping his ass all game, really. No need for the line to step in.

Besides, those 15 yards were key to getting a FG right before halftime. Smart move not to negate that.

58 Re: Demps Cheap Shot

Also, I'm having trouble comprehending that Demps only got a $7500 fine for that. Away from the play, premeditated, nothing to do with playing football, and that's all he gets? Bunkley got $5000 for the other PF on Warner, and that was basically just an extra step before the hit, part of the game. By comparison, Demps's flagrant hit was waaaay worse.

6 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

[Deangelo Hall] ended up wasting space on the Redskins to end the season

I'm super curious to see what game charters think of him, but at first glance this seems like an absurd assertion for a guy who ended the season as the clear #1 corner on a team w/ a healthy (and very good when healthy) Springs and Carlos Rogers having his best year (in which he still has hands of stone). In short, Hall looked very good w/ the skins as far as one can tell from TV.

OTOH, how is Durant "Durant" Brooks not the KCW punter? Or at least co-winner w/ Plackemeier and Vinny Cerrato? He took a roster spot from the bad-but-better-than-Brooks Derrick Frost, and then got cut only to be replaced w/ Plackemeier. In the meantime, he had two kicks returned for TDs. Great career, Durant.

9 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Is the All-KCW team limited to players who performed poorly when on the field? Otherwise, I can't think of a reason why Plaxico Burress would have been left off.

Not only is that three fewer than the previous record holder, the 1981 Baltimore Colts, it's also one sack less than the strike-shortened record set by the Indianapolis Colts in 1982

The Colts were still in Baltimore in 1982.

12 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Right tackle: Willie Colon, PIT
This is likely the first time a member of the All-KCW team will play in the Super Bowl

Isn't this "honor" shared by Tim Hightower, RB-ARI?

18 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

I feel the KCW award keeps drifting from what it should be, a celebration of boneheaded decisions.

Playing poorly all year is not a KCW to me. Even playing poorly in one game.

Take the quarterback winner. How can it not be Dan Orlovsky? It was one of the most unfathomably stupid decisions made this year or any year, and to top it off it provided the margin of defeat in the game. That he played decently the rest of the year, and that JT O'Sullivan was worse, should be irrelevant in the light of that play.

I know I'm just a reader, who am I to judge such things, but I dunno, it seems to me anyway not to be in the spirit of what Jack Del Rio did all those years ago...

It got back on track with Chilly though ;)

FWIW I would have gone with Sneed for this week, but I can live with Stone, since his actually contributed to a loss...

24 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

I agree strongly.
I love to hear about unnecessary stupidity that damages a team. I do not particularly enjoy hearing about incompetence. Rare talents such as Adam Jones know how to combine the two, but for the most part they are separate. So I think giving the player of the year award to Chris Perry is very unfair to lots of others, for example Plaxico.

36 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

clearly, you never bore witness to JTO in the pocket. Any pressure and he would run out of the pocket, 15 yards back, and then inexplicably fumble. And his boneheaded interceptions... in his case, I think his myriad poor decisions outweigh Orlovsky's single poor move, as colossally funny as it was.

14 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

(sniff) Childress for KCW Coach of the Year. Yous guys have touched my brittle, fractured heart!

38 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

That being the case, I'd argue that FireOmarTomlin is suffering from delusional Steelerism, in which fans are prone to think that anything less than a 12-4 record and a .500 record in the playoffs is a failed season.

Believe me, there are many, many Vikings fans who would have paid good money for the Vikes to have made Tomlin the head coach, instead of losing him to Pittsburgh.

And we feel that way about Leslie Frazier now.

20 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Hmm, only one member of the Broncos "defense"... That's a bit surprising. Was everyone just awful in really boring, non-KCW ways? It seems like Nate Webster's painfully bad performance, plus his helmet coming off on every goddamned play, plus his tendency to dance following every one of his tackles (most of which were 6 or more yards beyond the LOS) would qualify him. Or some sort of award for the Broncos D-coordinator who suffered a rash of injuries at the Linebacker position only to find out that the backups were superior players (excellent powers of talent evaluation, sir) and then let the starters fail back into their jobs without a second thought when they got healthy. Yeah, this is a season I'd like to bleach out of my goddamned head.

27 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Absolutely, positively, 100% agreement from this Broncos fan. I thought of Webster as well. For some reason, when I saw the number "6" in that sentence, I instantly thought "you mean after all 6 of his tackles."

I too couldn't understand why Denver went back to the "starters" after the backups proved to be far better players. They weren't as athletic, perhaps, but they appeared to at least have some semblance of football aptitude. By the end of the year, I was wishing they would just keep Bailey, Bly (not great, but not much for alternatives), Dummerville and Thomas in the lineup, and bench everyone else that was a projected starter at the beginning of the season.

BTW, where the heck was Koutovides all season? I didn't even see enough of him to decide if he sucked or not. Normally that would be an indication he was terrible, but I have little faith in Denver's ability to evaluate defensive talent.

59 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Me four on voting for Webster...

Webster is the worst LB I've ener seen... he reminded me of watching 6-year old kid's play soccer... a big mass of kids around the ball, invariably with one who is kinda afraid of the scrum so just runs in circles around the outside... Webster is the kid running around pointlessly outside.

Slowik also should win the KCW D-coordinator title, for all the reasons mentioned. I don't even know how good, or bad, the young guys on DEF are because everytime we put an injury sub in who actually played competantly for a game or 2, they were immediately re-benched for the previously ineffective starter.

21 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

So you're saying I've got a chance? Hopefully Washington has an MVP performance, but it looks like I need a huge blowout from the Steelers for a small chance.

26 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

So glad Brian Russell made the list. What he achieved this year will be remembered in song for generations. Will there be a KCW Player of the Year

\sitting at 202pts (nothing to write home about) with Ben, Quan, & Fitty. Wish I had known about the league.

28 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

I was thinking Porter was a good candidate to end up being next years John Gruden reclamation project of the year award winner, but I guess that can't happen now.

29 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Well, my BOTR isn't close to the leaders, but it's close to the laggards -- 80 points with Ben, FWP, Breaston, and Nate remaining.

32 Previous KCW/Superbowl crossover

Colon isn't even the first lineman to make the KCW and superbowl rosters; Tank Johnson (a D-Lineman, admittedly) made all-KCW in 2006 and was somehow not suspended for the Superbowl. Of course this was easier when the KCW was more about boneheadedness and less about sucking; Johnson's KCW linemate was Albert Haynesworth.

(Link to the 2006 all-KCW team in my name, and can you tell that I'm supposed to be cleaning the house?)

33 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Its been a year of bad cornerback play, so Nate Clements should be there. SF paid $80m for this guy who I dont rate in the top 20 CBs in the league. If LJ Smith is in for earning as much as he did surely Clements name should be mentioned among the CBs

35 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Honorable KCW-mention should go to Miami's Ernest Wilford.

$6 million signing bonus. Suited up for 7 games. Started 0 games. Caught 3 passes for 25 yards.

Even when Camarillo went down, the Dolphins didn't activate Wilford, opting instead to go with only 3 receivers: Ted Ginn, Davone Bess and some guy called Brandon London.

How is that not worse than Porter in Jacksonville?

37 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

That's not on Wilford. That he wasn't worth what the team paid him isn't his fault. What was he supposed to do, "no, sorry, I'm not that good" and turn the offer down? It was Parcells. Same with Kelly, I don't think he deserves that KCW trophy, it was Al Davis that earned it.

For KCW General Manager of the year.... now that Millen is gone... I'd give a runner up to Al Davis, but I think I'd have to give the nod to Jerry Jones. From letting Sporano go, then letting Sporano raid his team of role-players and assistants that helped keep the team in line, to bringing back Pacman, twice...

39 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

You're being WAY to harsh on Brian Russell.

The douchebaggery is written into the standard arthouse CBA. He's contractually obligated to spew that sort of nonsense. But he is FAR from "Chihuly-derivative". Metal fused with cast glass is completely different than screaming at a gaffer while yet another person blows glass. Chihuly is a glass fluffer.

I also suspect that Mr. Russell couldn't possibly be 1/10th the raging ass that Chihuly is.

49 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

This year, June managed to avoid any additional arrests (no mean feat under a Gruden-coached team -- Hey-O!)

Hey! I'll have you know that our ex-cons are all very well behaved! We reform and rehabilitate problem players as well or better than any other team in the league. It's a simple formula, really. Wait until they hit absolute rock bottom and know for a fact that they're toxic waste, and no one else will touch them, and then sign them to the a one year league minimum contract. June got a pass for his DUI because it was his first incident, though watching him on the field I'll vouch for the fact that he's a dirty player. Not a very good one, either.

No "love" for Javon Walker? DeAngelo Hall gets all the attention, but I think Walker did some pretty serious harm to the Raiders, himself.

40 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Does anyone recall the scoring system for the Fantasy comp?

My team below has 5 left playing, but I'm curious to see how far off the pace I am.

QB Roethlisberger PIT
RB Parker PIT / Rhodes IND
WR Washington PIT / Curtis PHI / Breaston ARI

43 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

You guys are going easy on Daren Stone.

That was the dumbest penalty of all time and I challenge you to find one dumber. 25 yards of field position when down two in a conference championship game?? That's close to being the dumbest penalty hypothetically possible (which I suppose would be the same moronic out-of-bounds hit negating a return TD in a Super Bowl).

I suggest Daren Stone have a KCW award named after him for each week's stupidest penalty.

BTW, thanks for calling out Willie Colon. I kinda feel bad ripping a small-school, day two draft pick, but he has been a horror show. There's no doubt in my mind he will take a false start in the Super Bowl.

52 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

Ryan Plackemeier was cut by Seattle in the first half of the year. Meaning that Seattle is fielding a total of three players in this year's KCW bowl. Right behind Det, Oak, and KC, each with four. It was not entirely injuries that hurt Sea this year.

While checking stats on I discovered that Plackemeier started one (1) game for Seattle but punted 11 times!

53 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

David Akers deserves a KCW Dishonorable mention this week with missed FG, missed XP and a KO out of bounds.

Hail Hydra!

54 Baltimore, not Indy

Regarding DE: In 1982 the Colts were still in Baltimore.

55 Re: Scramble for the Ball: All-KCW Team

119, 28 behind.

Still have Ben, Parker, Washington, Breaston and Reed left.

I'm going to need an absolute offensive frenzy to get close.