The Week in Quotes

Football players (and coaches and front-office people) say the darndest things

The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

compiled by Vince Verhei

(The Year in Quotes has been postponed -- it will run next week.)

AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT SHE WAS COMING TO MY DOOR / SHE WHISPERED SWEET AND BROUGHT ME TO THE FLOOR

"23-17."

-- Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress, predicting that his team would win the Super Bowl by that score to reporters of the New York Post

"We're only going to score 17 points?"

-- Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, questioning Burress' handicapping skills

"OK. Is Plax playing defense? I wish he had said 45-42 and gave us a little credit for scoring more points."

-- Brady

"I know they have confidence. They should have confidence. They are the NFC champions."

-- Brady

"I learned a lesson early in my career: No matter what you say during the week -- and God knows we say a lot this week -- we're going to be focused on going out and winning this game. We're confident, but I don't think we share our thoughts with everybody."

-- Brady

"I don't understand what the fuss is about. Nobody wants to lose."

-- Burress, after showing up 33 minutes late to a league-mandated media session because he was enjoying breakfast with his family

"All this is entertainment. It's sports, and sports are entertainment. So 23-17 is the prediction I made, but the game still has to be played."

-- Burress

"I'm not taking anything away from what those guys accomplished. They set all the records you could possibly imagine. They have a great quarterback, the MVP, who threw for a record [50] touchdowns. Randy [Moss] set a touchdown record for catches. They had two receivers with over 100 catches. The numbers don't lie about what they have done."

-- Burress

"Hey, look how much fun everybody is having with it. It makes national, international headlines. But the game still has to be played."

-- Burress, showing he understands how to hype up a contest

"I will speak with Plaxico in a private way, and that's where it will remain."

-- Giants coach Tom Coughlin, showing he doesn't give a hoot about hyping up a contest

"Well, 23-17 was the first thing that came to my head,"

-- Burress, explaining why he predicted that particular margin (ESPN.com)

SACK RECORD HOLDER, FORMER DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR, AND ALL ANYONE TALKS ABOUT IS YOUR TEETH

"We can sell advertising in that sucker, I know that. I've never sat back and looked in a mirror and thought, 'How much can I get for this gap?'"

-- Giants defensive end Michael Strahan, when asked what the gap in his teeth was worth to him

"There was a time when I thought about fixing it. I went to the dentist, and I had all the X-rays and charts and pictures of how I'd look if it were fixed. I decided that if I did it, it would just not be me."

-- Strahan

"People look and they go OK, here's a guy who is not perfect. But to me it's perfect, because it fits me. And I think it makes people feel comfortable. I feel comfortable when I look in the mirror. So that makes everybody else feel comfortable. You look at people who have imperfections, and you go 'You know what? I'm good with that.'"

-- Strahan

"My teammates give me a hard time about it, and you know what I tell them? When we go somewhere, and you're standing in the back of the line, and they don't notice you, and I walk up and smile, I automatically get in. That's why I have it."

-- Strahan (NFL.com)

WE'RE NOT DONE WITH STRAHAN YET

"Some actress that's hot. There are a bunch of them, but most of them are pregnant right now."

-- Michael Strahan, when asked who he would try to impress by inviting them to the Super Bowl.

"I have no chance. If I am trying to impress you, I am not bringing you to the Super Bowl. Give me a chance to stare into my gap tooth. I need to do that in person at a restaurant or something."

-- Strahan

"When I was in California in the off-season holding out, I said 'I don't care about the clean look' so I went a little grimy."

-- Strahan, on the shaggy hair and beard he's been sporting this season

"The women like it. You know when I knew this hairdo was right and all that, the women were like, 'Ooh, you look sexy.' And then the guys were like, 'You need to cut that off.' When the guys start hating and the women like it, you know you are onto something."

-- Strahan

"Noooo one, noooo one, noooooooo one."

-- Strahan, singing an Alicia Keys song (N.Y. Daily News)

ANOTHER DAY IN THE LIFE OF TOM BRADY

"To the woman in the wedding dress."

-- Tom Brady, selecting a question to answer at Media Day

"Are you really?!"

-- Brady, caught quite off guard when the woman -- Ines Gomez Mont of TV Azteca -- declared she was in love with him

"Wow! I've never had a proposal."

-- Brady, after Mont asked for Brady's hand in marriage

"What's your name, first?"

-- Brady, making sure his potential bride meets his high standards

"Ines! A beautiful name, Ines!"

-- Brady, seemingly impressed

"I've got a few Miss Brady's in my life."

-- Brady, after Ines declared herself "the real Miss Brady"

"No, I'm a one-woman man."

-- Brady, breaking another heart (ESPN.com)

"It's an outfit I frequently use. It's regular. It's a pair of jeans and a blouse. Nothing more."

Mont, explaining her bridal outfit (Arizona Republic)

MY HAIR IS DONE, MY FINGERNAILS TOO / SIX BUTTONS DOWN AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

"Separate from the teammates, because you want all the camera time you can, one-on-one."

-- NFL Network correspondent Deion Sanders giving advice on how players should react if they make the winning score in the Super Bowl

"And then I'll say 'I'm going to Disney World!"

-- Giants kicker Lawrence "Prime" Tynes, telling Sanders what he'll do next

"You can't say that unless they pay you handsomely."

-- Sanders, concerned

"I signed my contract today."

-- Tynes, unconcerned

"You're a good man, Lawrence! I love you, baby!"

-- Sanders, giddy (NFL.com)

THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SUPER BOWL, BUT IT'S TOO GREAT TO LEAVE OUT

"Tom, my pleasure."

-- CBS commentator Phil Simms, saying goodbye to Jon Stewart after a stint on the Daily Show

"You know, you go your whole life waiting to meet some of your sports idols, and when you finally meet them, and have them sit right across from you and talk to you for six minutes, and then call you by your nickname Tom..."

-- Jon Stewart, recapping the incident on his show the next night

"That's right. You probably didn't realize that, but my closest friends call me Tom. Tommy Boy, they say! The Tomster! To see Phil Simms do that without even knowing he was doing it -- That's kismet!"

-- Stewart

"TOM?!"

-- Stewart, still in disbelief

"My name's on the f---ing sign!"

-- Stewart, while gesturing around the studio to indicate that his name is, indeed, on the f---ing sign. The video is available at The Daily Show Web site

THE REST

"I think it's great. I wish I could stand out there and listen to it, but I'll have some of his CDs playing in my office this week. That'll put me in the mood: "Free Fallin'."

-- Pats coach Bill Belichick, regretting that he won't be able to catch Tom Petty's Super Bowl halftime show (WTOP FM)

"Special."

-- New England linebacker Tedy Bruschi after receiving a Barry Manilow Award from Entertainment Tonight that spelled his name "Brushci." Bruschi's name was also misspelled on his name card at the podium (Chicago Tribune)

"I was so mad at him in the beginning of the year, the way he was playing, I stopped wearing his jersey. They won. Now, I don't wear that shirt no more. I refuse to."

-- Giants fan Jerry Damadeo, explaining why he refuses to wear his Eli Manning jersey (Newsday.com)

"Have you ever done it? This is what it feels like, right here. I've done it."

-- Giants coach Tom Coughlin, comparing his experience at Media Day to sitting in a dunk tank at the county fair (Newsday.com)

"I got on him when he got in the locker room after that. I'm like, 'You never leave your holder hanging out there, especially after that.' Are you kidding me? He just took off. He said he was cold. I was looking around and it was like a Jim Valvano moment. The next guy I see is Eli [Manning] and he's doing the same thing. We embrace. It was tremendous."

-- Giants punter Jeff Feagles on Lawrence Tynes' sprint into the locker room following his overtime kick against Green Bay that put the Giants into the Super Bowl

"'Slim' is a four-letter word. I try to get down to where I'm not gross."

-- Giants overweight backup quarterback Jared "Pillsbury Throwboy" Lorenzen (Last two quotes come to you courtesy of Hashmarks)

Next week -- The Year in Quotes! And we mean it this time! Send in your favorites (including those you think we may have missed) to quotes-at-footballoutsiders.com, and please remember to include a link to your source.

Comments

47 comments, Last at 04 Feb 2008, 4:26pm

1 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by slo-mo-joe // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:01pm

Stewart's just lucky he didn't invite Gumbel.

As for quotes, I still think this one from Brady should be included:

"That's a deep question. My purpose in life...? I throw a football, you know?"
Brady, asked what his purpose in life is.

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2 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by B // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:01pm

In fairness to John Stewart, Phil Simms calls everybody Tom.

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3 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by PatsFan // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:07pm

You missed Nick Kazcur's remark about one of his fellow OLmen who hasn't had the best of luck with the Pats' OL beard thing:
"His balls haven't dropped yet."

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4 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by JJcruiser // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:13pm

– Stewart, still in disbelief
“My name’s on the f—ing sign!”

Asante Samuel has his name on his jersey and Simms has been calling him "Samuels" for years. Stewart should be flattered.

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5 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by mush // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:16pm

Asante Samuels is probably laughing now.

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6 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by James, London // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:28pm

This, from NFL.com on Jared Lorenzen;

" More Lorenzen (and there is)
12:59 PM MT
Lorenzen, as usual, is embracing his unique size ... and the attention it draws. As he fielded questions about size as a quarterback, he reminded reporters that he was 13 lbs., 3 oz. when he was born. "I love my mother," said Lorenzen.

He went on to point out that at least one reporter today, who clearly didn't know who he was, complimented him on his offensive line play.

Responding to another question about whether he ever planned to slim down, Lorenzen said "Slim? That's a four-letter word.""

You have to love a QB who gets mistaken for an offensive lineman.

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7 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by NewsToTom // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:28pm

Stewart better never invite Jim Rome on. He'd probably call him "Martha."

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8 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by JasonK // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:29pm

This TWIQ needs more oral castration (link on name).

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9 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by mmm... sacrilicious // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:47pm

Deion Sanders is a mega-douche.

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10 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Waverly // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:47pm

I thought Deion's focus on publicity was amusing.

What is Disney World's policy on signing up athletes to say "I'm going to Disney World"? Do they try to sign one or more players on both teams? How much do they pay? (I assume it's conditional on winning and saying.)

An MDS article from a year ago is linked.

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11 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Shylo // Jan 31, 2008 - 1:51pm

No Randy Moss?

"The fastest receiver on the Patriots team is...Randy Moss!"
"The quickest receiver on the Patriots team is...Randy Moss!"
"The strongest receiver on the Patriots team is...Bam Childress...or Randy Moss!"

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12 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Dunbar // Jan 31, 2008 - 2:52pm

#11:

WOW. That might be the most disturbing thing I've ever read.

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13 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Joe T. // Jan 31, 2008 - 3:07pm

“The next guy I see is Eli [Manning] and he’s doing the same thing. We embrace. It was tremendous.”

– Giants punter Jeff Feagles on Lawrence Tynes’ sprint into the locker room following his overtime kick against Green Bay that put the Giants into the Super Bowl

No wonder Tynes darted to the locker-room. He didn't want to participate in an awkward homo-erotic moment with Feagles.

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14 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Nicky P // Jan 31, 2008 - 3:37pm

While there are many reasonable fans on this website who make me think of things in ways I never would have - there's also fans on here, and in general, that consistently prove to me that no matter what, they will never change their opinions on people/things and they will always find reasons to justify their thoughts/words/actions.

If Tom Brady won every SB for the rest of his career while donating his entire salary to charity, there would still be people out there that would find reasons why he's overrated, a bad person, lucky, etc.

They would still put him down personally, they would still put him down professionally.

I guess that's just the way it goes. In sports, politics, religion, etc. there are those to the far end of both spectrums and there are those in the middle.

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15 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Yaguar // Jan 31, 2008 - 4:06pm

24: They're kind of famous people, and there are people who report on that sort of thing.

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16 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by mawbrew // Jan 31, 2008 - 4:09pm

Tom Brady's love life? Is that what they mean by 'tackling football from outside the hashmarks'?

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17 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by lagfish // Jan 31, 2008 - 4:14pm

RE: 3

Way to hijack a thread and make it basically unreadable on the 3rd post.

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18 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Harris // Jan 31, 2008 - 4:20pm

Tom Brady got me pregnant -- and I'm a man. He's just that clutch!

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19 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Independent George // Jan 31, 2008 - 4:35pm

#31 - Time for an irrational Tom Brady/Chuck Norris debate!

#30 - I blame the dearth of Herm; if he were still around, would we be able to even think about discussing anything else? TWIQ just ins't the same without him.

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20 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Herm? // Jan 31, 2008 - 4:44pm

I really have nothing to add. I just thought I'd be part of the most bizarre "This Week in Quotes" comments thread ever.

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21 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Grouchy Bills Fan // Jan 31, 2008 - 5:14pm

regarding Brady's love life and female physiology: whatever.
My real concern is what on earth is a Barry Manilow award? What do you have to do to get one? Why would you show up for the ceremony? Do you have to put a little statue of Barry Manilow in a locked glass case in your living room?

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22 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Dave // Jan 31, 2008 - 5:14pm

Boy oh boy, I'm sure glad I have another chance to take part in a thread about Tom Brady's nads this week! Thanks Fergasun! I was really feeling the lack.

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23 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Grouchy Bills Fan // Jan 31, 2008 - 5:15pm

... and does "whatever" count as an ad hominem attack on other commenters? If so, sorry.

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24 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by James, London // Jan 31, 2008 - 5:38pm

Jesus, this thread got bad awful quick...

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25 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Fan in Exile // Jan 31, 2008 - 6:16pm

#38 No it doesn't because if you'll note you directed it not at the people, but at the comments. I just wanted to be a part of the thread too.

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26 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by B // Jan 31, 2008 - 6:18pm

36: The Barry Manilow award is given to the best saxophone player (not sure if it's the entire NFL or just of those who are present at Media day). Now, since it's the Manilow award, shouldn't it be the worst saxophone player?

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27 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Harris // Jan 31, 2008 - 6:31pm

#43 Nah, my kid would never sully himself by playing QB. If you ever hear of a LB who keeps a jar of Polaner All-Fruit in his locker, you can raise a glass to me.

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28 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by JCRODRIGUEZ // Jan 31, 2008 - 7:30pm

Guys, let's get back into tasteful topics and honor Kip Winger and its irrefutable musical legacy...we might as well call him the Tom Brady of the Hair Bands just to get another irrational debate...oh, and the mexican chic that proposed Brady...she's hot, dude...

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29 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by admin // Jan 31, 2008 - 7:41pm

Well, this is what I get for writing all day when nobody else is free to moderate the boards. We apologize to longtime readers and commenters. We're trying to figure out how to solve the recent decline in discussion thread quality.

I've deleted about half the comments in this thread and sent some people e-mails letting them know that we do not appreciate their attacks on fellow FO readers, their off-topic, non-football related posts, or their pathetic need to introduce Peyton Manning into any discussion involving Tom Brady. Rather than close comments, I'll simply ask that people not return to the subject of Mr. Brady's family life. Anyone who decides they need to re-start that conversation will be banned from the boards.

Thanks for understanding. I'm going to go back to writing a Super Bowl preview now.

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30 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Yaguar // Jan 31, 2008 - 8:32pm

Now my post 15 responds to the future, like that old-timey comments thread.

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31 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by taxistan // Jan 31, 2008 - 8:57pm

you go Aaron!

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32 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by MJK // Jan 31, 2008 - 9:40pm

To be fair, the first time I saw a picture of Lorenzen, I thought he was an O-lineman as well. If the Patriots start getting consistent outside pressure from Vrabel, maybe they should put Lorenzen in. He could probably drag Vrabel six yards at a time for first downs...

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33 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Lagfish // Jan 31, 2008 - 11:38pm

Good job, I was for nuking the whole thread but you went all surgical on us.

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34 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Will Allen // Jan 31, 2008 - 11:44pm

Glad I missed this one.

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35 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by mm // Jan 31, 2008 - 11:50pm

this must've been interesting

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36 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by mm // Jan 31, 2008 - 11:51pm

26 - what's the Barry Manilow award?

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37 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Athelas // Feb 01, 2008 - 12:13am

Re #11 (for now!)
This was a response to those questions from Donte Stallworth (who is very willing to tell you HE is the fastest, quickest, strongest WR on the Patriots). You have to hear his delivery--very funny.

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38 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Spencer // Feb 01, 2008 - 9:07am

Oh man, you guys missed some real gems!

Eli Manning, on Joe Namath guaranteeing a victory: "Joe Namath was a great, confident man. That was then, this is now. I am not going to guarantee anything."

Adalius Thomas: "The team that's going to win has already won the game based upon the preparation needed for a game like this."

Laurence Maroney: "I fear no man!"

Mike Vrabel on Belichick's sweatshirt: "That is his little woobie. That's his little security blanket. He has that pouch and he keeps all his stuff in it. You would like to see what is inside that pouch, I bet."

Wes Welker on the differences between New England and Miami: "Weather. Women. Wins."

Wes Welker, on seeing Brady at practice: "He looked great. He has the same dimples and everything."

Randy Moss on reports the Giants wore black on Monday because of their plans to bury New England's perfect season: "Yes, you're supposed to wear black to a funeral. . . . We'll see who has black on after the game."

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39 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Cyrus // Feb 01, 2008 - 11:15am

Man, I love whats left of this thread-- very funny quotes. I'm glad I missed whatever nonsense was deleted too.

Regarding Randy Moss, this is from a Patriots blog...

Donte’ Stallworth stole the show for me. Randy Moss boasted that he was the fastest receiver on the team. When I brought that up to Stallworth, he ran to where Moss was talking and yelled, “You telling lies again? Who’s the fastest receiver on the team?”

Moss replied, “The fastest receiver on the team? I would have to say Randy Moss. The quickest receiver on the Patriots? I would have to say Randy Moss. The strongest receiver on the Patriots? I would have to say Bam Childress. Followed closely by Randy Moss.”

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40 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Scott // Feb 01, 2008 - 6:07pm

Personally my favorite quote this year was from Eli. After just getting off the plane, in his black suit, he said to some microphone that he was glad we've landed and wanted to say "we're happy to have finally landed in Phoenix and we're ready to get this week going"

But what he said was: "We're just happy to be here."

And you could see the panic spread across his face as he stammered on hoping no one noticed.

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41 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Cyrus // Feb 01, 2008 - 6:31pm

Important one, from Roger Goodell:

"The reason I destroyed the tapes is they were totally consistent with what the team told me," Goodell said during his State of the NFL speech. "It was the appropriate thing to do and I think it sent a message.

"The actual effectiveness of taping and taking of signals from opponents -- it is something done widely in many sports. I think it probably had limited, if any effect, on the outcome of games.

"That doesn't change my perspectve on violating rules and the need to be punished."

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42 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Norman Einstein // Feb 01, 2008 - 10:48pm

"or their pathetic need to introduce Peyton Manning into any discussion involving Tom Brady"

Yea, come on guys...everyone knows you can only introduce the Patriots randomly in threads that have nothing to do with them.

Use your head fellas.

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43 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by HarryC // Feb 02, 2008 - 3:43pm

3rd quarter. 2 and 6 for the Giants from their own 23. Gaints in a two-wideout set;Pats in ther 5-2-1-3. The ball is snapped...Ty Warren beats both his blocks, Manning, looking like the little boy he really is, starts to run but is struck down by Warren. The ball comes free and is recovered by...

Pass it on

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44 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Quentin // Feb 03, 2008 - 12:44pm

Um, not to violate #29, but c'mon:

[i]With Super Bowl tickets going for as much as $77,000 on eBay, New England linebacker Mike Vrabel was asked if he would pay that much to watch the Patriots and New York Giants play. "I wouldn't pay that much to watch Tom and Gisele play," Vrabel replied. Meaning Pats quarterback Tom Brady and Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen. -- St. Louis Post-Dispatch[/i]

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45 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Sid // Feb 03, 2008 - 2:28pm

RE: 2

I don't think Stewart would be too pleased with your getting his name wrong in a thread about someone getting his name wrong. ;)

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46 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Sid // Feb 03, 2008 - 2:38pm

RE: 39

That's actually really funny. I wish I was there to see that.

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47 Re: The Week In Quotes: January 31, 2008

by Sid // Feb 04, 2008 - 4:26pm

“We’re only going to score 17 points?”

– Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, questioning Burress’ handicapping skills

“OK. Is Plax playing defense? I wish he had said 45-42 and gave us a little credit for scoring more points.”

– Brady

Hey Shady, you couldn't make it even to 17.

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