compiled by Rory Hickey
GET YOUR WRANGLERS ON TIGHT
"To all the Vikings fans that are coming to the Metrodome, pull your 84 jerseys out, man. I think this is going to be a fun ride."
-- Newly reacquired Vikings wide receiver Randy Moss addresses fans on his second go-round in Minnesota (ESPN)
IF YOU ONLY READ THE LAST SENTENCE YOU WOULD THINK THIS WAS ABOUT LANE KIFFIN
"Straight up, I couldn't stand him. He was one of the only coaches you would see running up and down the field like he was playing in the game. Running up, jumping and high-fiving with his players. They over there dogging us and you just sit there watching them have all this fun like, 'Man, what is he doing? Run me to that sideline so I can hit him one time.'"
-- New Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch on his new coach Pete Carroll, back when Lynch's Cal Bears would take on Carroll's USC Trojans (The Huddle)
DO NOT CROSS KYLE ORTON
"You always hear about how tough they are and all that stuff. I don't think they are tough. I think they are cheap, and it was one of the cheapest games that I've ever seen out of some of those players. I thought the refs did a good job of keeping it under control."
"It's ridiculous. If that is the type of player Cortland Finnegan wants to be, then he is a cheap player -- he is not a good player."
-- Broncos quarterback Kyle Orton lashing out at the Titans defense and cornerback Cortland Finnegan after the Broncos 26-20 victory on Sunday (The Tennessean)
THE BILLS WOULD MAKE A GREAT ADDITION TO THE UFL
"It was. Yes, it was."
-- Jets linebacker David Harris when asked if the Jets 38-14 victory over the Bills was as easy as it looked (The New York Times)
THE EAGLES WERE TRANSITIONING TO A MORE CHECKDOWN HEAVY OFFENSE
"Everybody makes mistakes in their lifetime, and they [the Eagles] made one last year."
-- Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb in the locker room after Washington's 17-12 win over the team that traded him away, the Philadelphia Eagles (The Huddle)
IN THIS ANALOGY I'M SURE DETROIT WASN'T THE ONE PICKING UP THE CHECK
"[It's] like a blind date -- she's not pretty but the personality was fine. Like any ugly dates with great personalities, it was fine, took her out, had some food, but you dumped her. So, we're gonna dump this one off and work on the next date. Try to get a cute one."
-- Packers linebacker Nick Barnett on the Packers unsightly 28-26 win over the Lions (Green Bay Press-Gazette)
SOMEWHERE JOSEY WALES NODS IN AGREEMENT
"I think they just hate the Vikings. Me personally, I'm watching games, guys getting holding calls. We watch our tape -- we get held more than anybody, but we don't get those calls. So, I guess because we're the outlaws, I guess that's just how it goes."
-- Minnesota Vikings end Ray Edwards wondering whether the NFL is involved in a conspiracy against the Minnesota Vikings (1500 AM ESPN)
PERSONALLY I PREFER BAKING POWDER
"He didn't have enough yeast to rise up and make that catch."
-- Play-by-play man Joe Tessitore describing a near reception during the BYU-Utah St. game (Awful Announcing)
IT COULD BE A BIG EIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP GAME PREVIEW
"Is it starting to feel like K-State/Nebraska is going to be a big-time rivalry year in, year out?"
-- A question posed to Kansas State coach Bill Snyder by an unknown reporter about the rivalry between his team and Nebraska, who is moving to the Big Ten next year (Wichita Eagle)
WITH THE AMOUNT OF PENALTIES HE COMMITS I'M SURE HE HATES OFFICIALS AS WELL
"I don't have to explain anything to Flozell. He hates everybody. We just tell him, 'Flo, we don't like these guys.' He's like, 'Cool, I hate them too.'"
-- Steelers offensive lineman Max Starks on if he had to explain the intensity of the Ravens-Steelers rivalry to new Raven Flozell Adams (NFL From the Sidelines)
Send a quote to Football Outsiders at Contact Us and you will immediately become 10-15 percent more respected among your peers.