The Week In Quotes: November 6, 2015
by Rory Hickey
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR STARTING JOHN BROWN
-- Arizona Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians, on fantasy owners being upset that wide receiver John Brown didn't play on Sunday. (Twitter)
TOO BAD SETH ROLLINS CAN'T FILL IN -- GET WELL SOON
"I tell you what, I got some time on my hands. I could be there Sunday, playing the Philadelphia Eagles. I think I can line 'em up, throw for about 300, 400 yards. Get (Jason) Witten open, get Dez (Bryant) working. A lot of underneath routes. Give (Darren) McFadden the ball a few times. Maybe do a little end-around, fake the reverse pitchout, let me run downfield and Darren can throw me the ball. About 60 yards out, catch it in full stride and boom, spike it over the damn goalpost. ... Y'all saw me catch all those beers all those years -- damn near never dropped any of them. You know how much money I could have made playing professional football as a tight end? But I can't jump and I can't run fast. That was my problem."
"Yeah I'm a Cowboys fan -- I'm waiting for Tony Romo to come back; they're in harm's way. They got to get Romo back in the lineup. Hopefully his collarbone is healed up. ... It's a tough season for them -- they'll rebound. They'll get it all together. I hated to see DeMarco Murray go. I was a big fan of his. He was kicking ass, too."
-- Former professional wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, campaigning to be the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys until Tony Romo's collarbone heals. (Dallas Morning News)
I HAVE MORE FACETS TO MY GAME THAN ANY OF YOU!
"You see Jimmy [Graham]. Jimmy can't block worth shit. They get a lot of credit and a lot of love. But Julius Thomas doesn't block anybody. Antonio Gates doesn't really block anybody. But they do a great job in the passing game. It all depends on the system that they're in."
-- Chicago Bears tight end Martellus Bennett, throwing some shade on other tight ends throughout the league for being one-dimensional and not as impactful in the blocking game. (ESPN)
THE SEATTLE SOUNDERS OWNERSHIP HAS REALLY REDEEMED THE WHOLE PRICE IS RIGHT THING
"I found out then that I didn't need football. When he was growing up, the team seemed to be woven into the fabric of the city. After they left, football just felt like a money grab."
"I was like, f--- the Browns, man."
-- Part owner of the MLS Seattle Sounders Drew Carey, on why he has become less of a Browns fan since leaving The Drew Carey Show, which was set in Cleveland. (CBS Sports)
YOU WENT TO HARVARD, DUDE, I THINK YOU COULD FIGURE SOMETHING OUT
"It's painful enough to get me out of changing diapers. That's the one positive."
-- New York Jets quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick, on the lone benefit of injuring his left thumb (non-throwing hand), for which he will eventually need surgery. (Twitter)
DOESN'T HE KNOW PHILADELPHIA WAS AN ORIGINAL USPS CITY? BOOOOOOOO
"That offer must have gotten lost in the mail."
-- Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Sam Bradford, on reports that he recently turned down a four-year contract extension from the Eagles. (Eye on Football)
COULD WE GET A CHIMP TO FILL IN AT QUARTERBACK FOR A COUPLE WEEKS?
"Missed the monkey. The monkey thing is pretty humorous. I am a monkey fan. I can stand in a zoo and look at them all day long and die laughing. My dad was in the wild animal business and had over 5,000 wild animals. And he was always, no matter what, handing somebody a card and saying, 'Be sure to come out and visit my monkeys.'"
-- Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, commenting on the ongoing Dez Bryant pet monkey saga, in which PETA has gotten involved. (Eye on Football)
OK MATT, SETTLE DOWN, YOU'RE FREE FROM WHISENHUNT NOW
"Titans coach fired. Now Marcus Mariota has a chance!"
-- Former NFL quarterback Matt Leinart, after Titans head coach Ken Whisenhunt, Leinart's former coach in Arizona, was relieved of his duties on Tuesday. (Twitter)
DEREK CARR TO Amari Cooper COULD BE FUN FOR A WHILE
"He's awesome, man. It was fun watching him out there. They had a great game plan moving him, and a lot of places to give him the ball. Awesome. The sky is the limit for him. A special player, he is. They played well today. Like I said, Amari is a special player. They try to move him around a lot in the offense to try to get him the ball in many ways."
-- New York Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis, praising rookie Raiders wide receiver Amari Cooper, following the Raiders victory over the Jets. (OaklandRaiders.com)
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NOT SINCE PHARELL WAS AT THE TOP OF HIS GAME
"I never seen a nerd ballin' like that."
-- Seattle Seahwaks safety Earl Thomas, on Stanford graduate Richard Sherman's play against Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant, following Seattle's 13-12 escape past the Cowboys at AT&T Stadium. (The News Tribune)
DOUBLE CHEESE CHICKEN PARM COMING RIGHT UP
"Chicken Parm tastes so good-I like it especially with Cheese"
-- Denver Broncos defensive coordinator Wade Phillips, trolling Packers fans on Twitter by invoking quarterback Peyton Manning's now infamous commercial and throwing a little cheese on top for good measure. (Twitter)
CAUGHT BETWEEN A JERRY AND A HARDY PLACE
"Well, we've seen some of these outbursts at times, between player to player, position coach to coach. But... the thing that bothered me the most is that [Cowboys coach] Jason Garrett did not intervene. And when he doesn't intervene and he's watching that, my perception is one of two things: either he's afraid of Greg Hardy or he's afraid to go against Jerry Jones."
-- Inside the NFL analyst and former Steelers head coach Bill Cowher, surmising that Cowboys head coach Jason Garrett is scared of somebody. (Eye on Football)
*FAST FORWARDS TO PLAYOFFS*
"As a younger African-American coach, to see him sail through the ranks is kind of a blueprint for those who have come after him. I'm in that group. I've got a lot of respect for him on those levels."
-- Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin, saluting Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis for all the strides he's made as an African-American head coach in the NFL. (NFL Nation Blog)
FANTASY OWNERS OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS NOD IN AGREEMENT
"I know my ability. I know what I can do. I've just got to control what I can control. When my opportunities come, I've got to make the most of it. I'm not getting that many opportunities right now. I don't know why. But things happen for a reason. You've got to be ready for it. The way I'm handling it, man, I think I'm handling it the best. I'm not getting frustrated or anything. When the time comes, I'll be ready."
-- Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Cordarrelle Patterson, expressing confusion at the fact that he has been a complete non-factor in the Vikings offense this season, with just two catches for 10 yards. (Minneapolis Star-Tribune)
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GRONK COULD BE A TOP-10 POWER FORWARD IN THE NBA RIGHT NOW
"Dang, so I've got a three-point shot and I've got power and quickness? I'll take that; I'll take the Steph Curry-LeBron [comparison]. I played some high school ball, all the way through my senior year. Loved playing basketball, I miss it. I was the No. 1 dunker. I packed the house throwing down my jams every game."
-- New England Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski, responding to Redskins head coach Jay Gruden comparing Gronkowski to NBA players Steph Curry and LeBron James. (Providence Journal)
THE LIONS MAKING A REGIME CHANGE? WHY I NEVER…
"We are very disappointed with the results of the season so far and believe a change in leadership was necessary. We are beginning a national search for the best leadership to manage our team going forward. I want to assure our fans that we intend to identify and hire the very best leadership in order to produce a consistently winning football team. Our fans deserve a winning football team and we will do everything possible to make it a reality."
-- Detroit Lions owner Martha Ford, (Pro Football Talk)
ISN'T THAT WHY THEY WEAR HELMETS?
"We were kind of going different speeds and had a fake handoff going one way, and [I] tried to hand it off going the other way and I just caught his elbow. Or his elbow caught me. Has it happened to anybody before? Probably not. It was kind of a one in a million deal. But that's all it was."
-- Miami Dolphins backup quarterback Matt Moore, describing wide receiver Kenny Stills accidentally striking his elbow through Moore's facemask on a handoff two weeks ago and in the process breaking Moore's nose. (Sun-Sentinel)