The Month In Quotes: July 2016
Guest column by Joe Rowles
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER?
"I want to be part of the solution and not the problem, and posting that picture I was part of the problem. I don't want to be that."
-- Cleveland Browns running back Isaiah Crowell, explaining his actions since posting a picture of a masked man stabbing a police officer in the neck. Crowell has since apologized multiple times and vowed to donate his first game check to the Dallas Fallen Officer foundation. He also attended the funeral of Patrick Zamarripa, one of the Dallas police officers killed in the line of duty on July 7. (Cleveland Plain Dealer)
SORRY I COULD NOT TRAVEL BOTH
"Definitely two different people on two different paths."
REMEMBER, EVERYONE, MARIJUANA IS BAD FOR YOU, BUT THIS IS OK
"I took 15 Vicodin at one time. Two gave me an effect I liked. After a month, two didn't do anything, so I'd take three… and then four and so on… I knew that 15 was hard to come by. A month's prescription is 30 pills or something, depending on what they prescribe for you, and I was going through that in two days. I would ask this guy for pills and that guy for pills, after a while I was going back around pretty quickly… I'd hit rock bottom and I said, 'I'm going to flush these down the toilet.' I remember when I poured them in the toilet and it started to flush, I almost crawled into the toilet to go after them because I thought, 'What in the world did you do?'"
'I'LL BE THE ONE IN THE BACK BRACE'
"See you on the field very soon."
"It's not the ACL. No one needs to freak out."
'GUTSY' IS CODE FOR 'DUMB'
"I think the easy thing is to start all over, I really do. I think that was an awesome, gutsy move. I think it surprised me, but then again, I think any decision would've surprised me."
EVERY MORNING IS THE DAWN OF A NEW ERROR
"I was at the light sitting there waiting and I ended up dozing off. It was late at night and I had a busy day. It was one of those days where I should've just stayed in."
-- Jacksonville Jaguars running back Denard Robinson, describing how his car wound up in a pond. Robinson was cited for careless driving and the police report states that Robinson and his passenger were asleep even as the officers tried to help them out of the car. (Florida Times-Union)
MAYBE THEY'RE HOPING ANOTHER Josh Norman COMES AROUND
"Not sure why things haven't progressed."
-- New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees on contract negotiations with the team. Outside of discussion on terms to fit Josh Norman under the cap, the sides haven't talked in three months. Brees carries the highest cap figure in the NFL, and if he is franchise tagged after the 2016 season that number will spike to $43.2 million. (ESPN.com)
DON'T ASK ABOUT THE LAST SIX
"I was around 70 percent in the playoffs. Now, knowing everything is right and having some time off in the preseason to get everything stronger and a lot more stable, I'll be at 94 percent when all said and done."
'THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL A "FIRE UP SESSION"'
Female: "So, if you just put it on there...it's just doing it? It's live? That's hella stupid."
Male: "Shut up. You hella stupid. You trying to smoke, fam? Is this the ashtray?"
Female: "Yeah. You ain't using it no more, right?"
Male: "I'm using it… You're stupid. You're tripping. (Expletive deleted), they don't know it's me. It's not like I put 'Aldon Smith--'"
— An unknown male, allegedly Oakland Raiders edge rusher Aldon Smith, enjoying a hand-rolled cigarette in a Periscope video with an unidentified female. Smith, who had already been suspended until at least November, denied that he is in the video, but has checked himself into rehab. (CSNBayArea.com)
SOME CALL THOSE PEOPLE 'JOURNALISTS'
"People are going to say what they want to say on the Internet. It is people who really have nothing to do. I don't get upset or let it bother me."
-- Pittsburgh Steelers running back Le'veon Bell's response to claims that he lied about knowledge of his looming suspension in June. Bell has since admitted that he knew he was facing league discipline. (Pittsburgh Tribune)
AND WHAT ABOUT THE COMMERCIAL BREAK?
"The kickoff return makes a difference. And what happens with onside kicks? Do they take that away too?"
GET THE MAN SOME LEGWARMERS
"You've got to worry about him stepping on your calf. His feet were a little cold, though, so I can't hold that against him. He couldn't feel his feet."
ALL PART OF THE DEAL
"What Goodell gets wrong in the eyes of many NFL players, and fans of aggrieved teams and favorite players, can often be chalked up to what we as players agreed upon in the collective bargaining process in 2011 during the lockout."
"It's not Roger, it'd be that way with anyone. Ideally it'd be an autonomous position where he can say whatever to whomever. He should be able to back owners off, and back players off. That's always been my view, that it should be a consensus builder… a guy who is worried about doing the right thing, not anything else. That's hard. It's idealistic. It's not the way the world works."
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BUYING GLOVES MUST BE A NIGHTMARE
"My right hand feels like my left hand."
-- New York Giants defensive end Jason Pierre Paul when asked about wearing a club this season. Pierre Paul lost digits in a 2015 fireworks incident. (ESPN.com)
HE SHOULD ASK JULIAN HOW THAT CAN WORK OUT
"I've dated two girls at the same time."
YOU DON'T HEAR ABOUT TOM OR PEYTON THROWING ALL-GIRL POOL PARTIES, EITHER
"You don't hear about other guys like Peyton Manning or Tom Brady getting into incidents like that."
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID ABOUT CAPTAIN McSORLEY
"I think he knows how to steer the ship. I'm just happy to be a part [of it and] have a seat on the boat now."
FANS SAY THE SAME
"It's just not worth it."
LET ME CHECK THE ODOMETER
"If you have more receiving yards than me, I'll give you the Porsche, if I have more receiving yards than you, you gotta give me the Rolls-Royce."
"If he really serious, call me ... I'll gladly accept. Don't Internet it."
-- Brown's response to the bet. (ESPN.com)
THE BRADYS NEVER ADOPTED GRONK, RIGHT?
"I was chasing around my five kids and throwing the ball to my brother, who played tight end in college."
WON'T BE PICKING ANY FIGHTS OVER IT, THAT'S FOR SURE
"I'm kind of pissed off. But it's not a detrimental thing."
"The reason he's become so relevant is because of me."
"He's relevant because of a catch. But we're not gonna go there. I'm not into the war of words."
-- Norman's response. (New York Daily News)
"Pieces of bleep."
DID I TELL YOU I CALL HIM PACIFIC OCEAN?
"We went paddle-boarding one day. It was a lot of fun. I guess him being from [North Dakota] he was used to cold water. I wasn't a big fan of the Pacific Ocean."
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HAZARDS OF THE JOB
"It's this guy's fault."
-- Washington Redskins general manager Scot McCloughan, blaming his hand injury on rookie receiver Josh Doctson, claiming he punched a wall when initial reports suggested Doctson would miss extended time after getting hurt in practice. Doctson's injurires turned out to be very minor. (Richmond Times-Dispatch)
A PICTURE SAYS A THOUSAND WORDS
"I got told it was called 'tough love.'"
-- A woman named Tiffany Thomspon who posted pictures of bruises to her Instagram account, then directed a second set of photos to Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliot's Instagram handle. (Deadspin)
WHY DO YOU THINK WE CALL THEM ROUGHRIDERS?
"Quite honestly, you wouldn't have a league if all the guys who had some type of past transgression in high school or junior college or college [weren't allowed to play], you wouldn't have a CFL."
-- Saskatchewan Roughriders General Manager and Head Coach Chris Jones when asked about the team's pursuit of free agent Greg Hardy. There are conflicting reports whether the CFL blocked the team from signing the defensive end. (CBC)