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There's a serious need for defensive help in Kansas City, Los Angeles, and Oakland. In Denver, meanwhile, the Broncos must determine whether or not Case Keenum can really be a long-term solution at quarterback.

04 May 2018

The Month In Quotes: April 2018

by Cale Clinton

THE NFL'S BOOGEYMAN

"Whenever Belichick makes a trade, the whole league gets nervous. Teams always wonder, 'What does he know that I'm missing?' He's in a lot of people's heads."

-- An anonymous front office executive pulls the curtain back following the New England Patriots' trade with the Los Angeles Rams. The Patriots sent wide receiver Brandin Cooks to L.A. in exchange for the 23rd overall pick. New England was poised to trade up in the draft, which I'm sure would have been this NFL exec's worst nightmare. (Mike Freeman/Twitter)

SILLY JERRY. A HELICOPTER WOULDN'T EVEN FIT THROUGH THE DOORWAY

"I would not, in any way, impugn the integrity of our decision making in the draft room. I'm not throwing a helicopter in the middle of it."

-- Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones firmly establishes that there would not be any big splashes made in the NFL draft just because the event was taking place in the Cowboys' home city. (Drew Davidson/Twitter)

TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE

"Don't listen to the guys on TV."

-- Oakland Raiders head coach and former TV personality Jon Gruden discourages viewers from listening to him reference Spider 2 Y Banana for the umpteenth time on Gruden Grinders. (Vic Tafur/Twitter)

     

NO BETTER FASHION STATEMENT THAN BAGGY, OVERSIZED SUITS

"I'm not doing the flashback draft day post because all our suits were absolute trash in 08."

-- Philadelphia Eagles defensive end Chris Long refuses to show off any throwback photos from his NFL Draft due to everyone's awful sense of style. (Chris Long/Twitter)

"I'm pretty sure Steve Harvey's tailor fit me."

-- Former Green Bay Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk recalls his baggy, oversized suit akin to those worn by the legendary daytime television personality. (A.J. Hawk/Twitter)

"Well my outfit I rocked on the couch while watching the draft was glorious. I assume it was sweat pants. Not much has changed since then."

-- Former Carolina Panthers guard Geoff Schwartz, who didn't attend the 2008 NFL Draft, was wearing a much more comfortable outfit while he was selected (Geoff Schwartz/Twitter)

STEVE SMITH'S SUCCESSOR?

"You want to know the truth about how I feel? They have never been able to replace me. Until now."

-- Former Carolina Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith Sr. applauds his former team's selection of Maryland wide receiver D.J. Moore. Smith went on to say that Moore has "a PhD in route-running." (Jourdan Rodrigue/Twitter)

WHEN YOURE A BUST YOURE A BUST ALL THE WAY, FROM YOUR FIRST OVERALL TO YOUR LAST THROWING DAY

"Being a 'bust' means you were the top 1 percent of the 1 percent and didn't pan out. That's why players don't call other players a bust. Fans and media are the only people who will call a guy a bust."

-- Former San Diego Chargers quarterback Ryan Leaf addresses just how inappropriately the phrase "bust" is used with regards to new prospects. (Pardon My Take/Instagram)

ANIMAL INSTINCTS

"Tracked a raccoon one time in the snow because I was in the neighborhood and was just curious where this raccoon lived, you know? There's fresh raccoon tracks and he had been digging through someone's garbage so I followed the tracks. I don't even know if these people know it but he lives right in the back of their house in a bunch brush and trees. Because you can follow it approximately right where he's at."

"It was like on a cartoon or something, blatant tracks. It was residential enough, so I was curious where this sucker lived. I walked about a half-mile out of my way to sort that out."

-- Washington State head coach Mike Leach is apparently an especially good tracker when he isn't coaching football. During one of Leach's walks to work, he allegedly tracked a raccoon for three and a half miles just to see where he lives. (Pardon My Take/Instagram)

IT'S EVEN HARD FOR CLEVELAND TO BLOW THIS ONE

"We have a better chance of making a right decision than a wrong one."

-- Cleveland Browns head coach Hue Jackson, equipped with the No. 1 and No. 4 overall picks in the NFL Draft, jokes that even they couldn't screw this up. If you ask some graders, however, they certainly managed to do just that. (Daryl Ruiter/Twitter)

     

PETE CARROLL: STREETWEAR ICON

"I've got some Air Monarchs for you that'll put those to shame!!"

-- Seattle Seahawks head coach Pete Carroll outs himself as a sneakerhead. Carroll's comments were in response to rapper Kanye West's tweets showing off new colorways for his Yeezy 500s. (Pete Carroll/Twitter)

PLAYING FAVORITES

"I'm a Steelers fan but still…"

-- One of several young fans asking Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles for an autograph during an event hosted by the Blake Bortles Foundation.

"I'm not signing yours."

-- Bortles' reply. Yes, he was joking. (Jaguars/Twitter)

THE MUMMER'S MUSINGS

"Walking down on the parade that day, I can't remember who came up to me but somebody came up to me with ashes in their hand. They said somebody literally… they said 'Kelc, I don't know what to do, somebody just poured their grandfather's ashes in my hands.' I was like 'I don't know what to do either.'"

-- Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce recalls a strange story from the team's Super Bowl parade. A particularly deranged enthusiastic Eagles fan decided to spread his grandfather's ashes -- right into the hands of an unnamed Eagles player. (USA Today)

ROSEN'S RAMPAGE

"I'm not paying attention to all that stuff very much. I've always been the No. 2 guy. Coming out of high school Ricky Town was the dude. He was going to [USC], I was going to UCLA, he was No. 1 in the country, I was No. 2, he was going to bring USC back to the promise land. After Ricky kind of faded away a bit, Blake Barnett was the Elite 11 MVP. He was the dude, he was gonna go to Bama, win a couple championships, call it quits, go to the league, first overall pick. You don't really hear about him too much. Sam Darnold, Baker Mayfield, these dudes that are these exotic, cool, flashy quarterbacks, the No. 1 pick, all this stuff, and I'm No. 2 and you know what? I'm gonna sit here and in a couple years, when it's all said and done, I'll still be standing."

-- Arizona Cardinals quarterback Josh Rosen talks pre-draft about the fact that he has always been considered a second fiddle when compared to quarterbacks over the years. (Jordan Heck)

"There were nine mistakes ahead of me."

-- Upon getting drafted 10th overall by the Arizona Cardinals, Rosen showed a bit more of his true colors. Despite there being a few hours left in the draft, Rosen also expressed in his immediate post-draft interview that all he wants to do right now is fly down to Arizona and start playing football. (Sports Illustrated)

THE NEW GIANTS GM MAKES MY JOB SO MUCH EASIER

"With the second pick, I'm sitting at Ben & Jerry's and I have a lot of different flavors to look at." (Andrew Siciliano/Twitter)

"A quarterback makes everyone better, but if you think about it, [Saquon Barkley] makes our quarterback better." (Dianna Russini/Twitter)

"We got big butts, we got power, we got speed. Sorry if that was inappropriate. And we got a quarterback that we really liked, so I'm not angry." (Ralph Vacchiano/Twitter)

-- These are just some of the many musings offered by new New York Giants general manager Dave Gettleman, who has been dubbed a "quote machine" by Andrew Siciliano. After doing these pieces for almost a calendar year now, I'd have to agree with Andrew.

LAMAR'S LOFTY CLAIMS

"They gonna get a Super Bowl out of me."

-- Baltimore Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson sets the bar very high for himself following his 32nd overall selection in this year's NFL draft. (Bleacher Report)

FISCAL PRIORITIES

"Definitely gonna put some of that in savings and try and invest, but I gotta get my mom a crib ... mom and dad's crib … he's got a tat of the Jets [on his forearm] … maybe that'll be another purchase."

-- -New York Giants running back Saquon Barkley already has his priorities in order as he lists what his first purchases will be with his NFL money. (ESPN NFL/Twitter)

CUTTING WWE PROMOS IN THE NFL

"Hey Dallas, the last time you were in a Super Bowl, these picks weren't even born yet!"

-- Former Philadelphia Eagles kicker David Akers was arguably the most exciting aspect of the Eagles' draft. When he came out to deliver the 49th overall pick for the Eagles, he took his sweet time and even managed to piss off a few Cowboys fans. (Leading NFL/Twitter)


THIS WEEK IN SOCIAL MEDIA

'SO I'VE GOT THAT GOING FOR ME. WHICH IS NICE.'

His Holiness the Dalai Lama wearing a cap and holding a football presented by Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers during their meeting at his residence in Dharamsala, HP, India on April 10, 2018. Photo by Ven Tenzin Jamphel #dalailama

A post shared by Dalai Lama (@dalailama) on

-- Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers has a chance to meet His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Rodgers even gave His Holiness his own Packers hat.

REAL RECOGNIZE REAL

How to get Richard Sherman's attention. (Submitted by @t_steak)

A post shared by House of Highlights (@houseofhighlights) on

-- San Francisco 49ers cornerback Richard Sherman acknowledges a fan at the Warriors game screaming out Sherman's infamous "sorry receiver" quote.

ICONIC IMAGES

-- Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield, who drew comparisons to Green Bay Packers legend Brett Favre coming into the draft, recreates Favre's iconic draft day photo (complete with oversized cell phone).

THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE NFL

-- When the NFL schedule for 2018 was released, it was revealed that certain games had to be worked around pop star Ed Sheeran's upcoming stadium tour.

AT LEAST HE CAN VISIT OAKLAND ONCE PER SEASON

-- Denver Broncos punter Marquette King learns the hard way he's not in sunny SoCal anymore as he's greeted with snow in one of his first days with his new team.

EVERYBODY'S A CRITIC

lol #NFLDraft

A post shared by JJ Watt (@jjwatt) on

-- Houston Texans defensive end J.J. Watt, who is now beloved by the city, reveals what people initially thought when Houston originally drafted him.

THAT'S WHAT TEAMMATES ARE FOR

-- Green Bay Packers cornerback Jaire Alexander cuts his interview short in order to celebrate college teammate Lamar Jackson's selection by the Baltimore Ravens

'TIME MAKES YOU BOLDER, CHILDREN GET OLDER...'

-- New York Jets quarterback Josh McCown gets hit with a ton of bricks as his daughter reveals that not only is Sam Darnold almost half McCown's age, he's also barely older than McCown's daughter.

BAD OMEN FOR THE BROWNS?

-- So much for being the best arm in the draft: Baker Mayfield's first pitch at the Cleveland Indians game left a lot to be desired.

NASHVILLE'S OFFICIALLY A HOCKEY TOWN

-- Tennessee Titans quarterback Marcus Mariota and his offensive line turn the Nashville Predators playoff games into a huge party, complete with catfish beer luge.

LIKE WE SAID: QUOTE MACHINE

-- The afore-mentioned Dave Gettleman making fun of analysts everywhere with the dreaded "fake typewriter" hand motion.

Posted by: Cale Clinton on 04 May 2018

17 comments, Last at 10 May 2018, 3:06pm by Led

Comments

1
by Guest789 :: Fri, 05/04/2018 - 12:43pm

I love that Alexander clip with Lamar Jackson. So pure.

2
by dbostedo :: Fri, 05/04/2018 - 1:09pm

"Denver Broncos punter Marquette King learns the hard way he's not in sunny SoCal anymore..."

Umm... his old team wasn't in sunny SoCal either.

6
by Cale Clinton :: Fri, 05/04/2018 - 6:33pm

Californian geography isn't my strong suit.

3
by ChrisS :: Fri, 05/04/2018 - 1:33pm

I wonder in what context Mike Leach's raccoon story came up. But since it's Leach it could be any/every context. I did not see any actual catfish beer luge. I saw catfish and beer but no lugeing (sp). Is Aaron Rodgers a Buddhist?

8
by IAmJoe :: Fri, 05/04/2018 - 10:22pm

Here's a shot of the catfish in action, though it appears to be about as effective as the Stone Cold method of just pouring it in the general direction of your face.

https://twitter.com/iancmclaren/status/990731151861075970/video/1

9
by The Ninjalectual :: Sat, 05/05/2018 - 11:42am

This seemed weird to me too. If Rogers is Buddhist, it's a recent development. Any time I think about him off the field, I think about stories of him meeting Favre as a rookie and being a typical cocky cock, taunting Brett for being old, saying I'm going to take your job but in a mean-spirited way, etc. Not a very Buddhist attitude. It's entirely possible he's grown up a lot since then, I wouldn't know.

Buddhism seems kind of inappropriate for a professional athlete, the two things are in direct conflict with each other in many ways. The two aren't mutually incompatible in all cases, of course, it's not impossible for it to work (especially once an athlete is established), but an athlete like Rogers would have to rebuild his entire approach from the ground up, I would think.

11
by justanothersteve :: Sat, 05/05/2018 - 3:54pm

I think about stories of him meeting Favre as a rookie and being a typical cocky cock, taunting Brett for being old, saying I'm going to take your job but in a mean-spirited way, etc

This is the first time I've heard any of this. I'm from Green Bay. My family still lives there. I hear a bunch of Packers gossip. Favre's last few years in GB, he barely talked to any of his teammates. He had his own dressing room. There was almost no interaction between Favre and Rodgers.

12
by The Ninjalectual :: Mon, 05/07/2018 - 3:54pm

Whoaa, almost no interaction? Sorry but your memory is wrong. I may have slightly overstated Rogers' cockyness in retrospect, but his literal first words to Favre were "hey grandpa."

Here's an excerpt from Pearlman's book Gunslinger:
http://thelab.bleacherreport.com/gunslinger-brett-favre-aaron-rodgers-fe...

Edit: and here's a story about Rogers not quite denying it, but calling it "highly sensationalized" so who the fuck knows what really happened I guess (though Craig Nall did confirm the original story to Pearlman, FWIW). I didn't hear about the second one until looking for the link to the first http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/17895352/aaron-rodgers-denies-grandpa...

13
by Led :: Mon, 05/07/2018 - 4:20pm

It's striking to me that Josh Rosen, personality wise, is a lot like Rodgers. It says something about the persistence of institutional knuckleheadedness in NFL front offices that Rosen also slid from the top of the draft, albeit not as far as Rodgers.

14
by ChrisS :: Tue, 05/08/2018 - 2:48pm

A story about why the Browns dropped Rosen down their draft chart, it is jaw droppingly stupid: "I was at an airport," Highsmith said. "UCLA's volleyball team was in front of me. You heard so much about Rosen. He's this or that. We all know how people talk. So I asked one of the volleyball coaches, 'What's Rosen like?' He said, 'Aaaaa, you should probably ask his girlfriend. She's one of the players. She's over there.' I'm like, 'All right coach. That's good enough.'" At that point, the story abruptly ends with Highsmith making a bizarre observation about Rosen completely based on his encounter with the UCLA coach. "I don't know what all this means, but there was something about him that bothered me," Highsmith said.
- He did not talk to Rosen's girlfriend.

15
by ssereb :: Tue, 05/08/2018 - 3:48pm

well, they didn't become the Browns by skillfully evaluating players.

16
by Aaron Brooks Go... :: Thu, 05/10/2018 - 11:09am

Other than, you know, Rodgers being better.

It's funny, though -- the guy who legitimately has a gripe about the 2005 draft is Ryan Fitzpatrick.

17
by Led :: Thu, 05/10/2018 - 3:06pm

So you're saying Rodgers is better "personality wise"? Because otherwise your comment is kind of a non-sequitur.

4
by Bright Blue Shorts :: Fri, 05/04/2018 - 1:43pm

I do wonder what Aaron Rodgers will do when he finishes football. I just get that feeling he'll have a second career in some thing totally unrelated.

5
by justanothersteve :: Fri, 05/04/2018 - 6:30pm

He said a couple years ago he wanted to get into producing documentaries. He didn't expound on what type.

7
by Shylo :: Fri, 05/04/2018 - 7:09pm

I love the dynamic between Mariota and his OL. His line are party monsters, and Mariota is the designated driver-type but they all respect and love each other.

10
by The Ninjalectual :: Sat, 05/05/2018 - 11:46am

So he hauls off and whacks one. Big hitter, the Llama.