The Week in Quotes

Football players (and coaches and front-office people) say the darndest things

The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by Cale Clinton

WE'RE WITH YOU, JIM

"I might have lost four Super Bowls in a row, but I've kicked cancer's ass twice, and I plan on making it a third, with the grace of God."

-- Hall of Fame Buffalo Bills quarterback Jim Kelly announces he has cancer for the third time in his life. (NFL/Instagram)

THIS QUOTE ALONE SHOULD MOVE HIS DRAFT STOCK UP

"I loved those NCAA Football games growing up. Every year, I'd create myself as a player and play for OU. I was always a running back, which goes to show that maybe it is possible to dream too big. I'd hand myself the ball 50 to 60 times a game. Total workhorse. Countless hours played. Broke every record. Amazing time in my life."

-- Former Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield reminisces on one of the greatest videogame sports franchises, NCAA Football. The franchise was unfortunately discontinued after NCAA Football 14. If the NCAA ever works out that whole "compensating players for their likeness" thing, maybe they'll bring it back! (Laces Out Show/Instagram)

PUTTING YOUR BALLS ON THE TABLE

"I would punch myself in the nuts many, many, many times to be able to draft him."

-- An anonymous assistant coach is willing to go through a lot of pain to be able to draft former Penn State running back Saquon Barkley. (Bleacher Report)

REFFING IS TEMPORARY BUT THOSE GUNS ARE FOREVER

"I've decided to retire. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to head to the gym, make sure that my body remains the temple that it is and of course, make sure the lactic acid buildup gets addressed by a vigorous regimen of stretching. In other words, I'm off to do curls."

-- Former NFL referee Ed Hochuli, known for his bulging biceps, announces retirement in the only way he knew how. (Rich Eisen)

     

COACH O FINALLY CATCHES UP TO TECHNOLOGY

"Then I found out it was daylight savings time. So we coached the team up all week with discipline, but I'm old-fashioned. I've got a clock by my bed. But their iPhones automatically turn over, right? I didn't figure that out till last night. I was moving my clock ahead, you know what I mean? I was nervous. I was nervous as heck."

-- LSU head coach Ed Orgeron talks about how he just learned that phones can automatically correct for daylight savings time. (Pardon My Take/Instagram)

FAKE NEWS

".@markkiszla putting the blame on Talib for the #Broncos going 5-11 last season in this weeks edition of Kickin' it with Kiz. Do you agree with him?"

-- Tweet by the Denver Post, advertising a column by Mark Kiszla blaming cornerback Aqib Talib for Denver's poor showing in 2017.

"I blame you and all of your negative stories all year. Why do you cover the Broncos if you hate them?"

-- Talib's response to Kiszla and the Post. (Aqib Talib/Twitter)

THIS MONTH IN WACKY WADE PHILLIPS

"It's expensive agency, Not free agency."

-- Los Angeles Rams defensive coordinator Wade Phillips has been blessing Twitter timelines with his dad jokes all March. ((Wade Phillips/Twitter)

"I have to do 1 more -- By Signing Aqib and Marcus -looks like we (the Rams) have Cornered the market. Sorry but it had [to] be said."

-- More Wade. (Wade Phillips/Twitter)

"I think the defensive coordinator has more swag than all of them, so we'll be in good shape."

-- Los Angeles Rams head coach Sean McVay, when asked about how he's going to handle all these new personalities, notes that the coolest cat in the locker room doesn't even suit up for games. (Gary Klein/Twitter)

IT'S ALL ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW

"Workin the phones Recruiting. Come to TN!! TaxFree lol #FreeAgency."

-- Tennessee Titans cornerback Logan Ryan pats himself on the back for some of the work he's done to draw in free agents this offseason. The Titans landed two of Ryan's former New England Patriots teammates in cornerback Malcolm Butler and running back Dion Lewis. (Logan Ryan/Twitter)

"If u and [Malcolm Butler] wanna send y'all former safeties some money I'll text y'all my acct number…I'm sure [Duron Harmon] and [Patrick Chung] want in lol"

-- New England Patriots safety Devin McCourty slides into Logan's mentions in the hopes that he gets his cut. (McCourty Twins/Twitter)

     

THE BEAST THAT TRAVELED EAST

"I know Eli Manning is probably watching this and thinking…yes, I'm coming. I know Dak [Prescott] is watching this like, 'Yeah, he's coming.' Yeh, I am. And Alex Smith, he knows he can't run from me. I told him that in the Pro Bowl."

-- Philadelphia Eagles newly-acquired defensive end Michael Bennett makes his presence known to the rest of the NFC East in his opening quotes as an Eagle. (NFL/Instagram)

ALWAYS DO THE BARE MINIMUM RESEARCH, FOLKS

"How do you make this statement and not include the two first-team AP All Pro safeties??"

-- Tennessee Titans safety Kevin Byard, one of those first-team All-Pro safeties, calls out Deion Sanders on his comments claiming that Tyrann Mathieu is "the best safety in the game."

"You're looking at who writers tell u who's the best I know who players and former players feel is the best. I rest my case. You continue to be a fan and I will continue being the man."

-- Deion, seemingly not knowing who Byard is, responds to his Tweet and doubles down on the previous statement.

"And If you didn't know, I am a Current player who watches a ton of film so trust me, I know who's balling and who is not. Talking about being a fan."

-- Byard's response. (Deion Sanders & Kevin Byard, Twitter)

IT'S BILL'S LEAGUE, EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST PLAYING IN IT

"Whenever Belichick makes a trade, the whole league gets nervous. Teams always wonder, 'What does he know that I'm missing?' He's in a lot of people's heads."

-- An anonymous front office executive gave Bleacher Reports' Mike Freeman this gem following the New England Patriots' trade of wide receiver Brandin Cooks to the Los Angeles Rams. (Mike Freeman, Twitter)

NOT AS BAD AS THE NEW MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL SONG

"If you go back and look at the schedule, generally we got one of the worst NFL games each week. You're trying to make something sound interesting and exciting that isn't."

-- Former Monday Night Football commentator Sean McDonough gave this reason as to why he voluntarily stepped down from his role with the program. (ProFootballTalk)

NATIONAL MONEYBALL LEAGUE

"Tend to really think Tyrann Mathieu's deal with the Texans drove the market down for safeties. Morgan Burnett reeled in less than half of his originally estimated $9.8M market value."

-- Packers writer Zachary Jacobson of Cheeshead TV made this comment in reaction to the low contracts that high-profile safeties were pulling in this offseason.

"Teams think they can replace safeties because of the 'systems' they run. Teams want pass-rushers and top-flight corners. The safety position is becoming a devalued position. So safeties have to literally play lights out, to even be valued."

-- Houston Texans safety Tyrann Mathieu quote tweeted Jacobson's original message and provided his own two cents. Mathieu, touted as one of the best safeties in the NFL, made a point this offseason to say his main priority was winning as opposed to money when looking at teams. (Tyrann Mathieu/Twitter)

THE MATH BEHIND THE MUSIC

"We got more analytics than probably any team in the league. We have all the gimmicks and gadgets, and we're going to have a DJ on the practice field. We're going to throw bubble screens and RPOs. We're going to have all the statistical data that everybody else has."

-- Oakland Raiders head coach Jon Gruden has gone all in on analytics … we think? (Michael Smith/Twitter)

SOMETIMES IT CAN EVEN BE YOUR OWN KIN

"Because of fit, I would take Sam Darnold if I were the Cleveland Browns. I think (he has) that blue-collar, gritty attitude. I think his teammates will love him. I think the city will love him. He'll say the right things. He'll come in and represent well. I think he kind of represents the Cleveland Browns."

-- Former UCLA head coach Jim Mora went on NFL Network to say he would take former USC quarterback Sam Darnold No. 1 overall. Mora coached top quarterback prospect Josh Rosen at UCLA last season, and was fired and replaced with Chip Kelly during the offseason. (Matt Joye/Twitter)

DECEPTIVE ATHLETICISM

"My man, he can run!"

-- NFL Network analyst Deion Sanders, during a blistering 40-yard dash by caucasian Penn State defensive back Troy Apke.

"Why are you surprised, Deion?"

-- Sanders' colleague Mike Mayock.

"You know why I'm surprised. I can't say it on TV. But he can run run!"

-- Sanders

(Later…)

"He just ran 4.35."

-- Mayock, reporting Apke's 40-time.

"Hey man, let me go hug him!"

-- Sanders, who did indeed go hug him. (NFL Network/Twitter)

KIDS AND THEIR PHONES THESE DAYS

"The ability to text is huge. You can shoot off a proposal, an idea, to 10 or 15 general managers in less than two minutes. In the days when you had to call, and let's just say the other person says, 'OK, I'll get back to you.' And when you make your second call, here comes the GM you called first. Now, you're playing phone tag."

-- Los Angeles Rams general manager Les Snead explains how texting between GMs has led to an uptick in trades across the league. (Sam Farmer/Los Angeles Times)

RAINING ON THE 12TH MAN'S PARADE

"I definitely enjoyed the city of Seattle and I enjoyed the fans there and have tremendous love and appreciation for the years I've spent there and love and respect that they've given me over the years. Would love to get to play in that stadium again, wearing different colors, trying my best to ruin their day, perhaps."

-- San Francisco 49ers cornerback Richard Sherman opens up about leaving the Seattle Seahawks. According to him, staying in-division and playing against his former team twice a year was a large factor in choosing his new team. (Seahawks Wire)

FREE AGENCY NUGGETS

"So dumb. Bradford has been paid more for nothing than anyone in history of [the NFL]."

-- Baltimore Ravens safety Eric Weddle on quarterback Sam Bradford's one-year, $20 million contract with the Arizona Cardinals. Per Over The Cap, Bradford has been paid more than $124 million by NFL teams. In eight seasons, he has gone 34-45-1 as a starter. (Eric Weddle, Twitter)

"Kirk Cousins is a hero for all the young players that will follow after him. Now we need more players to bet on themselves until fully guaranteed contracts are the norm and not the exception."

-- Seattle Seahawks wide receiver Doug Baldwin, congratulating quarterback Kirk Cousins on his fully guaranteed $79.5 million, three-year contract with the Minnesota Vikings, and encouraging other players to seek similar deals. (Doug Baldwin, Twitter)

"It's always funny and sad how fans ridicule players after they lose their jobs. Get cut, injury or traded. You would never do that to another person who loses a job. Dehumanizing athletes as if they aren't real with families or struggles like others."

-- Recently retired tight end Martellus Bennett, reminding everyone that NFL players are real people. (Martellus Bennett, Twitter)

IT WAS A BAD DAY

"I've had to stay off Twitter. There's so many 12-year-olds in my DMs telling me they're stronger than me."

-- Former Oklahoma Sooners offensive lineman Orlando Brown after he posted a mere 14 reps on the bench press at the NFL combine. (Sports Illustrated)

EVERYBODY'S GOT A PLAN TILL THEY GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE

"The one question that sticks out is I sat down, and the first thing the coach asked me is what I would do if he punched me in the face right now? To me, being from Cleveland, my natural reaction was, 'Coach, no disrespect but if you punch me in the face, we're gonna fight right here.' That was just my natural response. I guess that's what he wanted to hear, because he said, 'Good.'"

-- Former Ohio State linebacker Jerome Baker reveals the most bizarre interview question he was asked at the NFL combine. (USA Today Draft Wire)


THIS MONTH IN SOCIAL MEDIA

A SECRET RECIPE RIGHT UP THERE WITH THE KRABBY PATTY AND BIG MAC SAUCE

-- Kansas City Chiefs coach Andy Reid let loose with FO's own Charles McDonald and lets the whole league know what it has been wondering for years: what kind of cheese does he use in his macaroni and cheese?

-- Arrowhead Pride took that recipe and tried it for themselves.

YOU BROUGHT A KNIFE TO A DONALD FIGHT

-- So apparently Los Angeles Rams defensive tackle Aaron Donald has begun training hand-eye coordination by going up against a man armed with knives. Not a whole lot of analysis to provide there. That's just absurd.

COURTING LeBRON

JuJu makes his case for LeBron to join the Steelers.

A post shared by Bleacher Report (@bleacherreport) on

-- Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster began campaigning this month to bring NBA All-Star LeBron James out of basketball and into a black-an- yellow uniform.

LeBron is fine with the whole basketball thing.

A post shared by SportsCenter (@sportscenter) on

-- At first, LeBron didn't seem too keen on ditching the hardwood for the gridiron.

-- -Nevertheless, JuJu persisted. He traveled to a Cavaliers game donned in a custom LeBron James Steelers jersey.

-- He even imagined just how LeBron would fare at receiver by putting him in Madden. Even in a league of behemoth athletes, James still manages to tower over everybody.

JuJu sees you, LeBron.

A post shared by espn (@espn) on

-- Maybe there's hope for #LeBronToPittsburgh after all…

TOM BRADY IS BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING

-- New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady appeared on Stephen Colbert's Late Show, where Colbert had Brady stray away from some of the things he's sworn off eating in his TB12 diet. This included a tall glass of beer, which Brady claimed he could chug pretty well back in his days of drinking.

THE GREAT WALL OF CLEVELAND HANGS IT UP

-- In the wake of Cleveland Browns center Joe Thomas' retirement, NFL's The Checkdown put together a list of every single quarterback that Thomas has blocked for in Cleveland's continued quarterback carousel.

-- The City of Cleveland even declared for there to be a Joe Thomas Day on July 13, 2018.

-- In his retirement speech, Joe Thomas managed to crack a few jokes at the coaches and quarterbacks he's come to know during his time with the Browns.

$2 MILLION CONTRACT, $1 PEN

-- Detroit Lions beat writer Bryce Rossler of the Detroit Lions Podcast noted the quality of pen the Lions gave to new running back LeGarrette Blount to sign his contract. Take some pride in your writing utensils, guys.

WHITE QUARTERBACKS CAN JUMP

-- In an offseason full of surprises, none have shocked me as much as seeing New York Jets quarterback Josh McCown show off his handles in a couple basketball games.

ALL-EASTER NFL TEAM

-- Quirky Research put together a roster of Easter/Passover-related NFL players, including such greats as Eggs Manske. Randy Cross, and Rabbit Keen.

THIS DOG JUST MOVED TO THE TOP OF MY DRAFT BOARD

-- New Orleans Saints running back Mark Ingram gets wrangled down to the ground by a police dog during his NFL-USO tour in Italy.

Comments

9 comments, Last at 01 Aug 2018, 9:03am

1 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by Independent George // Apr 06, 2018 - 5:57pm

Umm... that's six cheeses, not five.

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2 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by Bryan Knowles // Apr 06, 2018 - 8:42pm

An issue with counting might explain Reid's on-going struggles with the clock management.

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3 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by Bright Blue Shorts // Apr 07, 2018 - 4:46am

Joe Thomas's delivery of those jokes is pretty awful and not helped by lack of canned laughter. But the final one did make me laugh a lot.

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4 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by Theo // Apr 08, 2018 - 11:56pm

Joe Thomas was a center?

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6 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by Guest789 // Apr 09, 2018 - 10:12am

This is the second TWIQ in a row that they've done that lol.

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5 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by sloperun3az // Apr 09, 2018 - 5:50am

This is a great little post with some valuable tips. I totally agree. The way you bring passion and engagement into the things you do can really change your outlook on live.
- http://sloperun3.com

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7 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by justanothersteve // Apr 10, 2018 - 1:15pm

"So dumb. Bradford has been paid more for nothing than anyone in history of [the NFL]."

Eric Weddle has not paid attention to the fabulous career of Chase Daniel. As someone else pointed out here, he's done amazingly little during his career. Daniel has started all of two games with a career stat line of 51/78 (65.4%) for 480 yards, 1 TD, and 1 INT and a passer rating of 81.1. All while being paid almost $25M over his 8 year career. He's made less than Bradford but they've been in the NFL the same number of years. He will make $4M from the Bears this year to be Trubinsky's backup (plus another $6M next year if the Bears keep him). It's not Bradford money, but he's made over $300K per pass attempt. (I used attempts as it's the closest measure to actual usage; I don't have stats for number of plays.) Bradford has only made a little over $43M per pass attempt.

Bradford Career Earnings: $124,045,000/2887 attempts = $43,297.54/attempt
Daniel Career Earnings: $24,900,000/78 attempts = $319,230.77/attempt

Bradford will never match this amazing $/att ratio. I doubt there's another NFL QB who has played at least 5 years with more dollars per attempt.

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8 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by dbostedo // Apr 13, 2018 - 11:57pm

"Bradford will never match this amazing $/att ratio. I doubt there's another NFL QB who has played at least 5 years with more dollars per attempt."

Probably - given the salaries involved it would probably have to be a recent player. But not too recent given the rookie wage scale now. And that's a really small number of attempts for someone to play 5 years.

Here's a search of QBs who have at least 80 games (5 years at 16 games/season), sorted by least pass attempts.

http://pfref.com/tiny/BuvDo

Unfortunately, some players seem to be counted as QBs in the search who clearly aren't right at the top. But obviously you quickly get to higher numbers than Daniel, so they would also have to make commensurately more money. Joe Webb doesn't have many attempts and a fairly long career... has he made enough money? That looks like the only possibility to me.

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9 Re: The Month In Quotes: March 2018

by nehasharma // Aug 01, 2018 - 9:03am

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