THERE WERE ACTUAL PEOPLE WHO WANTED THIS GUY TO CHANGE POSITIONS
"Should I say it? That's not bad for a running back."
-- Baltimore Ravens head coach John Harbaugh cracks a joke after quarterback Lamar Jackson broke the franchise's single-season passing touchdown record with 36. (B/R Gridiron via Twitter)
YEP, HE'S DEFINITELY BACK
"Happy holidays. Merry New Year. Y'all have a great day. It's a great feeling to be back. Thank you."
-- Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch officially reunited with his former team after the Seahawks suffered a slew of running back injuries. Lynch, notorious for the responses he gives to reporters, is already back in midseason after being asked what brought him back to Seattle. (NFL.com)
SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY
"I run through a motherf****r face. Offense, defense, special teams. I think that's why Bill likes me."
-- New England Patriots linebacker Elandon Roberts took a significant amount of snaps at fullback during the team's victory over the Buffalo Bills, proving he's simply just looking to make contact regardless of the football context. (Mike Reiss, ESPN via Twitter)
TAKING A LOSS IN STRIDE
"I was just informed that I was not selected to the NFL All Time 100. I stand with my other snubs out there in our disappointment in this process. I've set up a support group to help..."
-- Former San Diego Chargers quarterback Ryan Leaf was taken aback after discovering he was not selected for the NFL's list of All-Time quarterbacks, part of a larger All-Time 100 Players list the NFL has slowly rolled out over the course of its 100th season. Leaf was drafted second overall behind Peyton Manning in the 1998 NFL Draft and went on to play 25 total games over four seasons. (Ryan Leaf via Twitter)
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
"When I protect the football, we score points. No one has stopped us this year when I protect the football."
-- Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston tried to find the good in the bad after Sunday's loss to the Houston Texans, a game in which Winston threw four interceptions (with two on his first four pass attempts). Winston is on the precipice of being the first quarterback in NFL history to join the elusive 30 TD/30 INT Club, currently sitting at 31 and 28. (Buccaneers.com)
JOE BURROW NO MATTER WHAT
"Not even the Bengals can f*ck up this pick."
-- With the Cincinnati Bengals now on the clock, an anonymous NFC West scout made their opinion easy for everyone to understand: draft LSU quarterback Joe Burrow. Then again, this is the Bengals we're talking about… (B/R Gridiron via Instagram)
HIDING FROM GANG GREEN BEHIND YOUR OWN GREEN
"I'm rich as f*ck."
-- New York Jets head coach Adam Gase has apparently adopted the above quote as a "defense mechanism" when prompted about the mounting criticism he's had to face in his first year. Separate reports state that Gase has almost completely lost the respect of the Jets locker room during his rookie coaching season (New York Daily News)
'TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND
"As long as my leg is not halfway off."
-- Tennessee Titans running back Derrick Henry isn't going to let a hamstring injury stop him from helping his team fight for a playoff spot this Sunday. (B/R Gridiron via Twitter)
A HIT HE'LL NEVER FORGET (BECAUSE OF HIS KID)
"Now I tell my child to take the trash out, he tell me, 'Shut up before I go get Bosher.'"
-- As a member of the Carolina Panthers, Atlanta Falcons running back Kenjon Barner took a devastating hit from Falcons punter Matt Bosher on a return. A year later, Barner and Bosher are now teammates, but Barner's kid won't let him forget that one highlight takedown. (The Checkdown via Instagram)
WHAT'S UNDER THE TREE?
"Getting socks on Christmas is the equivalent of drafting an offensive lineman in the first round. Not flashy or exciting, but you know if they do their job, you'll appreciate them at some point later on."
-- NFL analyst Jordan Reid dropped this comparison on Christmas morning, likening the gift of socks to drafting an offensive lineman in the first round of the draft.
"Nah, lineman aren't socks. We are underwear. We are the layer that protects the most near and dear object to all."
-- Former NFL guard Geoff Schwartz amends this comparison, conjuring up some unholy imagery on such a wholesome day. (Geoff Schwartz via Twitter)
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THERE'S A CHANCE
"Well, it's pretty crazy. It took a five-team parlay this week to get to a four-team parlay next week."
-- Oakland Raiders play-by-play announcer Brent Musburger tries to explain the Raiders' long-shot playoff hopes in as simple of terms as he can. (NFL.com)
"Right now I'm not sure what our plan is. I think we want to win now, but we want to build for the future. It's just a really tough way to operate right now. Players are underperforming, I think it's right now a very collective failure, organizational failure. Fans deserve better. A lot of guys in this locker room deserve better. Coaches that have been around here deserve better. It's just been an overall failure, I think is the best way to put it."
-- Carolina Panthers tight end Greg Olsen didn't hold back after his team suffered its seventh straight loss, calling out the entire organization from top to bottom. (Charlotte Observer)
THIS WEEK IN SOCIAL MEDIA
YOU CAN TAKE THE MAN OUT OF COACHING, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE COACHING OUT OF THE MAN
Coaching tips for dog lovers. Have a good Saturday. pic.twitter.com/F4SHrzmnBq)
— Jeff Fisher (@CoachJeffFisher) December 21, 2019
-- Former NFL head coach Jeff Fisher is ready to come back to the game at any time. Just ask his three dogs.
"Can we get some professionalism here, please?"
— Chierstin Susel (@ChierstinSusel) December 23, 2019
-- Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald has been in the league too long to deal with these kinds of reporters!