THAT'S SO RAVENS!
"Yeah I saw that. … It still is low."
-- Baltimore Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson is still feeling slighted after EA Sports raised his speed rating in Madden 20 to a 96. This is the highest speed rating ever given to a quarterback in Madden history. (SportsCenter via Twitter)
"You think the 49ers are going to the Super Bowl? It could be, let's see. We'll just go out there and try to play the best football we can possibly do. And when the Super Bowl comes, whoever we play, they're going to be in trouble."
-- Ravens safety Earl Thomas already has high hopes for his team, placing them in the Super Bowl with the choice word "when." (Adam Schefter, ESPN via Twitter)
"Come. See. Me. LJ. MVP. If you got a problem, come see me. … That's all I'll say. Man, people have been trying me, but they can't validate their opinions. So, LJ for MVP."
-- Ravens running back Mark Ingram has led the charge on Lamar Jackson's MVP campaign, reiterating a quote he made last week following their 49-13 win over the Cincinnati Bengals. (Baltimore Ravens via Twitter)
JERRY'S JUMBLED JELL-O
"Running one of these football teams, and when you run it the way that I do and with the help that I got, it's like holding two handfuls of Jell-O, and about the time you think you got it corralled over in one part of your hands its coming out the fingers on the other."
-- Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones gives a pretty anxiety-inducing analogy for what it's like to run a football team. This description came in the days before the team's 26-15 Thanksgiving loss to the Buffalo Bills, where it was reported that angry screaming could be heard throughout the Dallas Cowboys tunnel following the game. It was also reported that Jones left the locker room after the game with tears in his eyes. (Jane Slater, NFL Network via Twitter)
SEASON'S ALMOST OVER, MIKE -- YOU CAN DO THIS
"He has not killed us."
-- Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin didn't sugarcoat much when asked why he elected to start quarterback Devlin "Duck" Hodges over Mason Rudolph. (Brooke Pryor, ESPN via Twitter)
HE CAN DO WAY MORE THAN JUST JUMP
"Hey. You can hear me? That's a baaad white boy. … Most skilled white dude in NFL history. Yeah I said it. Hands down, I said it."
-- Carolina Panthers defensive tackle Gerald Cox gave uniquely high praise to running back Christian McCaffrey, who has accumulated over 1,700 yards from scrimmage and 16 total touchdowns through 11 games this season. (Carolina Panthers via Twitter)
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THIS ORGANIZATION COULDN'T GET DUMBER, I PRESENT TO YOU: SELFIE-GATE
"It was an honest mistake and it won't happen again."
-- Washington Redskins quarterback Dwayne Haskins has entrenched himself in one of the dumbest NFL "controversies" in recent memory. Haskins picked up his first career win in the NFL on Sunday after narrowly beating the Detroit Lions 19-16. However, Haskins missed the final kneeldown of the game because he believed the contest was over and began taking selfies with fans on the sideline. (John Keim, ESPN via Twitter)
AN ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THAT MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL LOSS
"We got our faces peeled off."
-- Los Angeles Rams safety Eric Weddle really painted a picture for media when asked about his team's 45-6 loss to Lamar Jackson and the Ravens on Monday Night Football. (Sam Farmer, LA Times via Twitter)
O GRUDEN, MY GRUDEN
"You ever been on a boat that's sinking? It's not happy. It's not pleasant. It's adversity. It's football. You've got to respond to adversity. We didn't do a good enough job as coaches rallying our troops today. I'm not going to say much more. I'm emotional about it. I'm really anxious to get on to the next game."
-- Oakland Raiders head coach Jon Gruden likened his team to a sinking ship after being dismantled 34-3 by the New York Jets. Despite their 6-5 record, there is no good way to spin being described as a "sinking ship," no matter the situation. (Washington Post)
REMEMBER THE NAME
"You'll remember my name. I got two sacks on your ass. … F*ck you, you remember me now."
-- Buffalo Bills defensive end Shaq Lawson confronted Denver Broncos offensive lineman Connor McGovern after his team's 20-3 victory. Lawson later said that McGovern told him earlier that he had never heard of him. (Thad Brown, RochesterFirst.com via Twitter)
CAN'T CELEBRATE WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN
"There wasn't going to be celebration for beating Arkansas, they haven't beaten anyone in a long time."
-- LSU Tigers head coach Ed Orgeron didn't celebrate his team's victory after soundly defeating Arkansas 56-20. After the answer he gave when asked why, can you really blame him? (Brody Miller, The Athletic via Twitter)
IS THIS TECHNICALLY PRAISE?
"You put 'NFL receiver' in the dictionary, [DeAndre Hopkins'] picture is next to it."
-- New England head coach Bill Belichick isn't always consistent with how he praises upcoming opponents. When prompted to speak about Houston Texans wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins, Belichick confirmed that, yes, he IS an NFL wide receiver. Belichick later expanded on ths praise, calling Hopkins' catch radius and hands "elite-elite." (Doug Kyed, NESN via Twitter)
"Somebody's gonna get their ass whooped today. And it ain't gonna be us."
-- Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback D.J. Hayden gave this inspiring quote in the tunnel before his team promptly got their asses whooped by the Tennessee Titans 42-20. (Ben Murphy, AP via Twitter)
"Ask [Devin Singletary] about his first 100-yard game, that's a big accomplishment."
-- Buffalo Bills running back Frank Gore moved up to third on the all-time career rushing list last weekend. When media members asked rookie Bills running back Devin Singletary about Gore's achievement, Gore approached the media scrum and told them to ask Singletary about his first career 100-yard game instead. (Matt Bove, WKBW via Twitter)
EVERY STREAK STARTS AT ONE
"To me, it takes two to have a rivalry, so we've got to have our part. We've got to do our part. That's probably not going to sit well with some people. But, to me, you've got to win your share to make it a rivalry."
-- Cleveland Browns head coach Freddie Kitchens can't put much stock in a Browns-Steelers rivalry due to the fact that their most recent victory against Pittsburgh snapped an eight-game winless streak for the Browns. (Akron Beacon Journal)
THIS WEEK IN SOCIAL MEDIA
OH HOW THE THANKSGIVING TABLES HAVE TURNED
HE DID NOT JUST DO DAK LIKE THAT! 🤣 pic.twitter.com/Rln8E3rHbH
— Ƒunhouse (@BackAftaThis) November 29, 2019
Everyone on the Cowboys getting trolled pic.twitter.com/wse7yP5aKx
— Surf & Turf Podcast (@surfandturfpod) November 29, 2019
-- The Buffalo Bills played with their food quite a bit during their 26-15 win over the Dallas Cowboys, mocking both quarterback Dak Prescott's eccentric hip warmup and running back Ezekiel Elliott's signature celebration.
I'D UNIRONICALLY BUY THAT GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE JERSEY
What if Thanksgiving side dishes were reimagined as football teams?
— SNF on NBC (@SNFonNBC) November 26, 2019
-- Sunday Night Football's social media team made up mock NFL uniforms to match some of the more popular Thanksgiving side dishes. Whose team are you on?
AND AFTER ALL WE'RE ONLY ORDINARY MEN
— New Orleans Saints (@Saints) November 29, 2019
-- After the Atlanta social media team responded to a Thanksgiving loss to New Orleans by pointing out that the Falcons had still outscored the Saints in two games this season, the New Orleans crew countered with a slightly enhanced clip of the most disrespectful play from their triumph, Shy Tuttle stiff-arming Matt Ryan into oblivion.