Matthew Judon Declares War on Mac and Cheese
NFL Week 12 -
FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET, MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE
"I turn my head and see him flying through the air like a f*cking superhero."
—Indianapolis Colts tight end Mo Alie-Cox on the third of running back Jonathan Taylor's five touchdowns from Sunday's 41-15 win over the Buffalo Bills. This particular score featured Taylor leaping over his offensive line into the end zone. (ESPN via Twitter)
"They were all my favorite. Any time you get in the end zone it's a good day."
—Despite finding the end zone five times—four on the ground and one through the air—Taylor chose not to single any one out as his favorite. (NFL.com)
"Thanksgiving turkey's gonna taste a hell of a lot better. I don't drink wine or that would taste pretty good too."
—Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach Bruce Arians on celebrating Thanksgiving after beating the New York Giants 30-10 on Monday Night Football, snapping a two-game losing streak. (ESPN.com)
"It'd be hard for me to turn down any kind of potatoes. Mashed potatoes, scalloped, baked, however they're made. Load 'em up. Throw some butter on there. Starch me up."
—New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick on his favorite Thanksgiving side. (The Greg Hill Show via Twitter)
"I'm not even going to answer your question. I'm going to tell you: We got to get macaroni and cheese off the table. All right, guys? I'm getting on my soap[box]. It's just cheese and noodles. It's not that good. Let's be honest guys. Everybody here is probably a little lactose [intolerant], so it messes up our stomachs. And we have to get it off the table. It's probably one of the most overrated dishes. But my favorite is dressing. I do love dressing. But get macaroni and cheese off the table and it will be a much better Thanksgiving for everybody in the house.
"I have never liked macaroni and cheese. You know how they say "Your taste buds change every seven years, you just gotta … every time I try it it's the same thing. It's never going to change. It's never going to get better. All right? I'm almost 30 now. I'm pretty set in my ways, and it's disgusting. Get it off the table. The bathrooms will be less busy and everybody will have a better day. So if you want to have a good Thanksgiving, don't cook macaroni and cheese.
"My whole family loves it. My brothers and sisters. My mom cooks it in a big pan—they know not to put it on my plate, or that's fighting words. All right? I'm going to have to fight everybody in the house one by one. And I will wait until they eat their macaroni and cheese, get sluggish, and then I'm going to whoop them."
—New England Patriots edge rusher Matthew Judon got on his soapbox to deliver an anti-mac-and-cheese diatribe for the ages. (New England Patriots via YouTube)
'HEY, NICE PLAY!' 'THANKS! I'M NEVER DOING IT AGAIN'
"I could kind of point to a half-dozen throws there that were too aggressive, and I could argue that that's one of them. I don't think you want to live doing that. I think that we got away with it a couple times. I keep saying the [phrase] 'razor's edge' but that's a play where it's an example of it. The difference between him catching that and making the play he did and it going the other way [on an interception] is very small. "
—Minnesota Vikings quarterback Kirk Cousins wants to play it safe going forward, not feeling comfortable throwing it up to let wide receiver Adam Thielen make a play. That throw eventually set up Minnesota's game-winning field goal over the Green Bay Packers.
"I want him to keep doing it like he's doing it. He can't second-guess himself. If he throws an interception, that's life. You keep going for the jugular, it's gonna open up a lot of other areas in the running game, it's going to open up other players. We just gotta keep being that way."
—Minnesota Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer rebukes Cousins' concerns. (Sports Illustrated)
NEW METHOD, SAME OUTCOME
"Since the second half of the Tennessee game, those guys (on defense) have been playing better. It got lost because the offense wasn't playing very well. We were winning games because of our defense and people were so used to our offense going out and putting up these numbers. But every weekend I was right here at the podium saying 'don't lose track of how good our defense is playing.' To go up against an offense like that, (one) that has put up so many yards and scores, and shut it down, that's impressive."
—Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes on the recent performance of his team's defense.
"It's never how you start, it's how you finish. This is a marathon. It's not a sprint. You're going to go through some adversity and we've been going through that adversity. We've had a lot of guys hurt. We were rebuilding the chemistry back on this defense and getting guys healthy. Being able to play together, I think this was the first time, within four weeks, that we had all of our guys healthy and able to mesh and play together. That is a huge part of our defense."
—Kansas City Chiefs defensive end Chris Jones on the defense's current outlook. (NFL.com)
NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY
"Those are probably the same fans who won't be quiet when we're on offense and trying to operate. So I don't really care."
—Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield was unperturbed by the many boos from Browns fans during his team's play against the winless Detroit Lions. (My Sports Update via Twitter)
"The only thing I like, the family members that believed in me, people that believed in me, not hear me called a dumbass all the time."
—Arizona Cardinals head coach Kliff Kingsbury on whether he has gotten satisfaction out of his team's recent success after being questioned so often in his career. (Darren Urban, AZCardinals.com)
FOOTBALL ISN'T FOREVER
"If I'm playing football at 44, it means I'm broke."
—Indianapolis Colts defensive tackle DeForest Buckner has no interest in competing until he's the same age as Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady. (Stephen Holder, The Athletic via Twitter)
THIS WEEK IN SOCIAL MEDIA
'MY COACHING DECISIONS ARE … UNCONVENTIONAL'
A basketball hoop has been added outside the Giants' facility. Judge said it's for skill players to work on their fine motor skills in cold weather. He wants them to dribble and shoot for five minutes between meetings to get their hands used to the cold weather pic.twitter.com/0y7s3jgTEU
— Dan Duggan (@DDuggan21) November 20, 2021
—New York Giants head coach Joe Judge installed a basketball hoop outside the practice facility to get his players' hands ready for cold-weather football.
THIS LITTLE PIG THREW A TOUCHDOWN
"I have a fractured toe." pic.twitter.com/DFJJ1OF7LC
— Matt Schneidman (@mattschneidman) November 24, 2021
—Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers turns his Zoom press conference into a Quentin Tarantino film while showing off his fractured toe.